Twisted And Turned
by ElfChef
Summary: Right and wrong are ideas based on emotions, not fact. What if Sookie had been raised by a vampire? What if the vampire was Felipe de Castro? What if he trained her to rule; to dominate? What happens when she is faced with The Viking? Eric is the opponent that never saw her coming. This story focuses on what really makes us who we are and how much of it would we give for love.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

Eric

Another Day at the Office

Painting, drawing, sculpting, whittling, just about anything requiring high attention to detail and use of my hands was calming for me. These were the things I did when I found precious time to spare. Depending on the project, it could transport me to an entirely different place and time. I could look back at sketches and find things only my senses had registered that my mind had seemingly failed to see at the time.

I was currently looking at a drawing of Croatia, not present day, but an aerial view of the Croatia as it looked over a century ago. It was a night view, of course, and the world beneath was blurred in dozens of shades of blue and black. The owl I startled on my flight over the trees was in midflight. I didn't remember where I was had been nor where I was going. The scene was a mass of tall trees and the seaside in the distance. I had no idea if my work was any good. It didn't matter. No one had, nor ever would, see it. It was my secret, personal thing I did for my own sanity.

I flipped through my countless depictions of the night life. The paper changed from raw unprocessed parchment with coal, and then with ink on modern paper. This is what most vampires are; an unremitting pathway into the past as if going from cradle to grave, and then back again in one blink. These were my thoughts as I continued looking at all the images I had captured.

No matter how much television I watched or pictures I saw, the color of the world bathed in sun eluded me. I didn't miss the sun or the sky; not being able to capture it on paper if I wished irritated me. It was my personality. Not being able to have what I wanted only made me want it more; more often than not, once I had it, I had no clue why I had even wanted it.

It was much like the couple whom I had left not too long ago. I couldn't remember their names, nor if I had ever known them. Their blood was in my body. Their smell remained on my skin. The woman had surely been bold, but not desperate. I hated desperation. It had a sour, pungent odor that I bathed in enough at work. The woman was dark and beautiful, strong, but it was her husband who enticed me to join them at their home. He wasn't her opposite exactly. Along with her, he made her seem perfect as if special, though she wasn't.

Trying to capture all of that in art was impossible. I had already forgotten the specifics that made portraits, the feel of his hair, the texture of hers, and the sound of her voice. I am not racist; humans have begun to look alike to me after a millennium. After staring at a blank page for a half an hour, I gave up. I had better things to be doing, for instance, making money. After a shower to wash away the scents of sex and blood, I jumped into my car and headed to work.

Cruising through the streets these days was vastly different than anything I could have imagined when I arrived in this country several decades ago. Then it was a day-to-day struggle to remain hidden in a world that wasn't ready to face creatures they thought of as mythical. We were out now and, for better or worse, there was no going back. The news of our existence was divided into three categories: humans who feared and hated us, those who were curious or wanted to be us, and those who wanted us destroyed.

For financial reasons I was only concerned with the curious and the enamored. Above all, if there was one thing time and experience had taught me, it was that if you watched long enough and paid enough attention, people always showed their hands. For the remaining criteria of humans, I used a definitive preemptive method. It was never pretty but like most things I did, it was necessary.

Being in the open for me was a bit trickier. In addition to operating a bar, I was a vampire Sheriff to a powerful and demanding Queen. Being a sheriff was akin to being a referee. I had to be able to see everything and be able to make the right call. At somewhere over a thousand-years-old, it was no longer as difficult as it sounded. Amongst the supernatural, my reputation was enough of a deterrent that I was given the respect I deserved and I always returned it. Don't tell the 'Fang haters' but there was one unknown fact about vampires; most of us had impeccable manners. It was a combination of the times during which we were born and the fact that we could exist indefinitely. The only way to maintain civility was to attend to our decorum. My human days as a Viking didn't leave me much practice in the field but I tried, even with mortals.

I looked up as Pam entered the long hallway. I knew it was her by the footfalls. They were light and inaudible like those of all vampires but there was something in me that was utterly attuned to her. Pam wasn't only my favorite and youngest child; she was my second in command. Anything the vampires in my Area needed to say to me, they could say to her. Since the Great Revelation occurred, I was letting her take a more forward progression. As her Maker I did what a good Maker should. I taught her all she knew. I backed her play and watched her back from the political angle.

Pam spent four decades after her turning learning at my heel. After a hundred years, she was more than formidable and grew more so every day. She had established her name in the vampire world. In time, it was my hope she wouldn't need me. There was no doubt that she could rise to the role of Sheriff or even Queen. It was yet to be seen if she wanted to reach that high. All I knew was I wanted no part in ruling an entire Kingdom.

"Thalia has found the hideout of the drainers," She said without preamble. "I told her to stay put."

Thalia was a loose canon on her best day and a homicidal maniac on her worst. It wasn't that I frowned on her killing humans. The issue was her lack of restraint. I was already up and heading for the door because we both knew she wouldn't hold for long. My age came with several abilities; flight was just one of them. It would get me nearer to Thalia's location more quickly than driving.

For the record, no one asked me before they started tossing my undead ass out of this coffin, or that closet, or whatever. The Great Revelation…not the best idea anyone ever had but not the worst either. I was one of a few who shared this point of view and we were an insignificant minority. The reason many of the vampires went along with this was because they felt it would alleviate many of the problems that came with living in secret. It solved those but created an entirely new set of others. The most difficult of these to deal with were 'V' addicts.

Vampire blood could bring a human back from the cusp of death even as they stared the Reaper in his eyes. Aside from its life saving properties, it also had cosmetic effects. When abused, it became an addictive substance just like any other except it magnified physical attributes in not just humans, but mortals, in general.

When vampires shared their blood with their human, we did so responsibly. We knew when and how to administer blood so our humans didn't become addicts. These days I was dealing with one junkie after another. It was like chasing a lunatic with super powers who had the advantage of the sun and human law on their side. Their movements were erratic, their speed was magnified, and just as all prey, they knew how to hide. From the five senses to flexibility, endurance, reflexes, and speed, vampire blood enhanced all.

However, the pair that Thalia had been following had left a long trail of ash and blood that could be traced as far north as Tennessee. Unlike the usual idiots with crossbows and holy water in glass bottles, they were smart. They knew who to hit, where, and how to make a clean break. They had been proving almost impossible to track. That too set them apart. Usually when a human attacked a vampire, they cleaned up the scene in order to hide it from vampire trackers. Often it was the small things that gave them away such as a speck of dirt or ash. All anyone had to go on with these two were their clean tracks and the missing vampires.

Human law says charges of homicide cannot be filed if the person is already dead. At the very most, a human who ended a vampire was looking at charges for desecration of a corpse and littering. In short, vampires were told to go fuck themselves. Such callous and flagrant disregard was taken with a grain of silver. It was just as well. Supernatural creatures very much preferred to be left to their own form of justice. Vampires were no different.

Those of us who had heard of the Geneva Convention or cruel and unusual punishment used our own very loose interpretation. Anytime I caught drainers or any kind of mortal vermin threatening vampires in my Area there was never a body left behind. When I got my hands on these newest ones, there wouldn't be enough of them left for the worms to feast on.

While I had yet to meet a vampire who trusted another that wasn't of their blood, with Thalia I made an exception. Thalia was only years older than me and in all that time, she had formed no ties with anyone other than the Sheriff of the Area in which she lived. It meant she was safe. I could count on her goals of self-preservation and she didn't come with an ounce of ambition for anything more than what she had.

I arrived promptly as usual. Thalia was just moving from her position and inching toward the house in question. It was a mobile home attached to a truck. I landed beside her and moved us back several paces. The mobile home explained how traces of their victims' blood were located in several places but their pile of ashes never surfaced until a week later.

Blood granted immortality and it was binding until the true death. That was why keeping a vampire prisoner was so risky. It was where most novice drainers made fatal errors. More often there was a blood relative out there. For instance, if Pam was attacked her blood would call out to me and in turn, I could use it to locate her. The only thing that would keep me away was the sun. I couldn't fight that; no vampire could. I didn't even want to know what they had done to a vampire to gain such personal information. It didn't really matter though because they were never again going to see the light of day.

"How many?" I asked Thalia.

She held up four fingers. Then after a heavy pause she added lifted the last finger.

"They have a vampire," I wondered. I didn't feel anything of the sort it meant they whomever their victim was almost bled dry.

She nodded.

"Are the humans using?"

She shook her head back and forth four times.

That too explained their minimal errors. All of them were operating on clear heads. At least that would make them easy to apprehend. I had more questions for her but we paused to see the car turning onto their came. The windows were down and even before made the "Smelly Two Natured" face I knew what they were.

The two males exited their truck, looking cagey. One had a cooler in hand. Obliviously they were here to buy. That was uncommon because the two natured regarded vampires with as much warmth as we did them. It made them stronger so they've been known to dabble. There was a soft breeze sweeping through the moonless night. Thalia and I needed to get back or our scent might give us away but if we moved the noise definitely would.

A fight with Weres would take longer no matter how clouded the moon was. I didn't have the time or the numbers. Rescuing the vampire they held captive was a priority. The drainers were right up there with him. Once I had them, I could get every single buyer they had ever sold to. Luck was on our side tonight. The pair entered the trailer without catching our scent.

"We need the humans alive." I told her.

She gave a stiff nod I took as agreement though I knew the thought wasn't appealing.

"You can take the Mutts after we secure them." I whispered leaning forward. "On my mark, unleash hell."

She grinned like she always did when I gave her permission to do what she loved, hurt people. As far as I know no one else has ever seen her without her signature scowl in full effect. It was etched so deep into her dainty features that the humans had started several websites devoted to speculating why. That was part of her attraction at the bar. She was dark, dangerous, and made no effort to hide it. It was good for business. That was why when she slapped a patron every now and again I turned a blind eye. They liked it and she liked hurting people.

With the seconds that ticked past I felt Thalia lose herself to predator that lurked in all vampires. The temptation was there for me but I refrained. There was a difference between me as a vampire and "my vampire" that lay beneath all the layers of sophistry and pragmatics. It was one of the many aspects of vampire nature that wasn't public knowledge. It was because it wasn't something we could explain even if we wanted to.

When you are first turned from human to vampire you are nothing but a raw mass of predatory instinct. Your maker was able to leash the most feral aspects of until you learned to hide it on your own. No matter how much time passed that part of us never waned. It was something you couldn't hide forever. It was a wild animal that was too powerful to remain caged for long. That was why vampires loved a good fight. It was an appropriate time to unleash that part of us that wasn't conducive to our day to day survival. I let Thalia have hers knowing I would be able to rein her in.


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's note: **FF is my quick getaway to the fantastical. I can't even explain how great it feels to be back. This has been in the works for a long time. It wouldn't have been possible without my eagle eyed beta and gal pal, . I am crazy exited to share it.

If you want to get a more detailed synopsis and brief excerpts of this Fic, check out my profile page. I encourage people to do this because if this isn't for you, you'll know right away not ten chapters in after you've invested time and energy. Additionally, I will be posting multiple chapters just to get things rolling. I know I always do this and I know I also tell people not to get used to it but...I can't help myself.

While I would love everyone to love it, I would hate for anyone to feel duped. But if you don't know me for my non canon twist, then you don't know me at all but join me on my new adventure and let's get (re)-acquainted .

* * *

**Eric**

**Chapter 2 **

**Disruption **

I flicked my wrist and before the movement was even completed, Thalia vanished. The only indication that she had been on the scene was the sound of the mobile home crashing as it was tossed onto its' side. It was enough to disorient and wound, but not kill the humans inside. With a heedless laugh, she then dropped into the over-turned trailer. She was careful to close the door behind her.

I lifted the truck adjoining the trailer and launched it. I then kicked in the front window and joined Thalia. The humans were screaming and attempting to reorient themselves. Both of the Weres were in mid-shift. It was all out chaos, and Thalia was laughing, loving every minute. I located my targets. The kidnapped vampire was being kept under a bunk bed in the back.

With the jolt of the vehicle the wounded vampire had become wedged between a wall and under a metal cabinet. He was wrapped in silver from head to toe and couldn't move. He was burning while being crushed. I freed his upper body when the crackle of gunfire told me the humans had found their footing and joined the fray. A bullet hit Thalia in the thigh.

"Human cowards with your guns! You fuckers never learn!" She hissed. It was the most I had heard her say in months.

She used the tan Were she had been pummeling as a shield for the follow-up shots. Judging by the sizzle of flesh and her snarl, the bullets were silver. The fight could no longer be contained here.

I let my powers unfurl. It felt the same as always. The scene slowed down and, in this frame, even other vampires looked as though they were in slow motion.

There was a difference between me as a vampire and "my vampire" that existed beneath all the layers of sophistry and pragmatism. Vampires are nothing but a raw mass of predatory instinct. Your Maker was able to leash the most feral aspects until you learned to hide it on your own. No matter how much time passed that part of us never waned. It was something you couldn't hide forever. It was a wild animal who was too powerful to remain caged for long. That was why vampires loved a good fight. It was an appropriate time to unleash a part of us that wasn't conducive to our day-to-day survival.

These humans stood no chance. My right hand flicked at the human who had fired upon Thalia. The bullet jammed in the barrel.

What I really wanted to do was pull off all their heads. Instead, I waved my hand and tore off the trailer top. Like puppets whose strings had been yanked with excessive force, the Weres and the humans propelled out of the opening. I faced the wounded vampire. "Can you drink?" I asked.

He was uncertain but when I placed the cooler of his blood beside him, he dug in. I gave him the entire supply his captors had in the refrigerator knowing it still wouldn't be enough to heal but enough to keep him from the veil. It was a testament to how much damage he had sustained. With the amount he gorged on he still looked like shit. Silver poisoning was just the beginning of his worries. He was missing several fingers and toes.

"Stay here."

He dropped the bag of blood and clutched at my arm. He tried to speak though nothing came out but a parched scraping gurgle. Obviously he had done a great deal of screaming. He shook his head furiously and hung on tighter.

I smiled and cupped his face. He was young when he had died so he wasn't too far into this undead life. That and his ordeal explained his response to touch.

"This will not be your last moon," I told him. "I swear it."

He let go and I took to the air immediately. By the smell of blood, I knew Thalia had gotten her hand on a knife. It wasn't hers. She had been banned from having them on her person. She was whistling as she went about her business. I followed the scent and the distinct flavor of blood. Despite having fed not too long ago or not needing much blood anymore, it still made me hungry. I shook the thought aside to take full inventory.

The humans were lined in a neat row. They were all sporting slashes on their Achilles heels. I had to laugh. Having caught the sound, Thalia looked at me with a big bright smile. It made her look like the dainty creature she had been in life. "People seldom understand that joke," she said, dragging the tan Werewolf to add to her ever-growing pile.

I rolled my eyes. Looking at her you would never believe she was sentimental. Thalia was Greek, and so was the infamous Achilles. If you didn't get her joke, she would only explain it while slicing you up. Nothing was that funny.

"Where is the other one?" I asked.

"He ran toward the highway," She said, pointing north.

We'd made a good haul for our kind but I wanted to make it complete. There would be two Were pelts to go along with human remains. "Call Pam," I told Thalia. "Have her send the clean up crew and extraction. Take extra care with the one back there. He has my word."

The nod she gave me was different from the one she had given me a few minutes ago. With that, I was off into the night sky again. Thalia already had her phone in hand relaying the message. This was the calmest anyone would ever see her. Yes, it took a silver bullet and good fight. Then again, I hadn't accepted into her into my Area thinking the moon shone out of her ass.

It didn't take long to find the Were that had escaped the scene. The vehicle he had arrived in had been destroyed. It hadn't taken him long to find another and he was weaving through lanes on the highway with reckless abandon. It would be useful if I knew where he was headed. That would have helped me uncover a pack of 'V' users. If I was fortunate enough, I might find countless other dealers and suppliers.

Resolved, I followed from the air at a closer distance than normal. The heavy rain had turned into a deluge. It was compromising my vision so I knew the Were wouldn't get far. There was no rush, the night was young. I knew what car he was driving. Even if by some chance he abandoned it or found another he was bleeding and I could smell Thalia on him. From up in the air, I saw the collision before I even heard the screeching of brakes and crash of metal on metal.

I was first on the scene and, by the looks of it, everyone was dead. The Were's head was smashed against the driver's side window and his neck was jutting out at an odd angle. He was definitely dead, a mercy he didn't deserve. The car he had hit was an old yellow heap. The driver had her beautiful face introduced to the windshield with enough force to send her halfway through it.

I had no idea how she was still conscious. Blood was gushing from her so profusely I couldn't see the wound just that it was on her forehead. It was pouring out as if through a sieve covering her face almost entirely obstructing everything but her arresting eyes. Her expression was dazed but her eyes never wavered from mine as she bled out.

In all my years, in every color I've dabbled with, I can't say I have ever seen anything like them. They weren't turquoise or sea foam. I looked closer and couldn't even begin to ascertain if she had more blue than green in her eyes. I didn't know I'd made the decision to save her until I had her in my arms. With a quick glance at the Were's license plate I left, taking the enigmatic-eyed woman along.

Most sheriffs made their personal homes the headquarters for their Area. It was cost effective and it gave them a direct line of sight on all visitors who came and went. I wasn't that hard up for cash and I had enough people watching my boundaries. There was a small apartment complex not too far from Fangtasia. It was the location I used to conduct my affairs. It was also where I kept prisoners such as the drainers and people in need, for instance, Caleb, their only surviving victim.

I took the human woman to my house. The blood I'd given her had stopped the bleeding but she was unconscious. I didn't want to give her more until her pulse stabilized; otherwise I ran the risk of turning her. Not only did I not want that, I didn't have the express written permission of my very bitchy Queen.

Having me dunk her in a tub didn't wake her. I meant to just clean her face but I removed her clothing because it was also destroyed. The thought of her nudity hadn't been a factor but getting her naked told me that I'd been correct in my guess. She was beautiful! It was more than the dangerous curves of her body or the ethereal flow of her wet flowing hair.

Asleep, she radiated tranquility and exquisiteness that should not be possible. It set her apart, marking her as entirely other. I couldn't even begin to understand it. Suddenly I was overwhelmed with the need to... Her pulse stabilized and I gave her more blood. The gash on her head went from an angry, puckered line to smooth, sun-kissed skin.

I had nothing for her to change into so I wrapped her in a towel and laid her in bed, my bed. I was lying beside her when the question entered my mind. What are you doing? The answer was simple. I hadn't the slightest clue. It wasn't enough stifle my desire to see what lay beneath. I had dozens of other things I should be doing. Without a doubt, they were a hundred times more important than sitting on my bed watching and waiting for her to awaken.

To assuage my logical side I coordinated with my vampires to assure that the cleanup of the tonight's events was progressing. I also had the presence of mind to have the accident scene doctored to deflect any undead involvement. The vampire we had rescued was being relocated to my Area apartment complex. Thalia was in good mood. The humans and the Weres had already been relegated to Pam's interrogation skills. It left me with nothing to do but watch the woman in my bed.

I felt emotion churning through me when she began to stir. It was her emotion. Giving her blood made me privy to them but there was more. I had been so intently focused on her that my own emotions were a part of the massive flood. It created a tangled mixture of anticipation so strong it was painful and a desire so fierce that refusal would be worse than death.

This was more than being able to feel my blood circulating in her body. It was more than attraction. It was a hunger of the soul; raw and devastating. I knew what was happening and the knowledge helped me make sense of it, yet it also warned me that my fate was sealed. I couldn't be saved. Her eyes blinked slowly focusing on me.

I then fell even deeper into a place where nothing and no one else mattered. Just like that a thousand years of solitude had come to sudden and absolute end. Without a drop of her blood, without knowing her name, or another single thing about her, I felt that truth rock the very core of the creature in me. I was night and she was day. My moon belonged to her sun. She was my mate.


	3. Chapter 3

**Eric**

Chapter 3

Chaos

The realization was one-sided. The instant her eyes focused, she screamed and batted at me wildly. I wasn't sure if she was trying to fend off a vampire or swat a fly that had come too close. It was very confusing. Her panic coated my skin forcing me into action. I was moving toward her but it had the opposite effect.

She skirted back, taking the sheets with her as she went. They tangled around her feet, and she fell off the bed. She hit the carpeted floor with a heavy thud. I knew it had to hurt enough to at least leave a bruise. With the adrenaline coursing through her body, she didn't even stop. I would have caught her but with this newly found bond my reactions seemed delayed. It was as if my reflexes had been hardwired to center around hers but I was fighting them. It didn't help that she was running around and screaming as if she was on fire. She was going to get hurt.

"Enough!" I barked. "Stop it!"

She froze, but the trembling of her body was visible to my vampiric sight. She continued to cower away though her eyes were darting all over as if they were following a million different things, yet unable to focus on a single one. She had inadvertently backed herself against the wall. The sheets dropped when suddenly her hands clamped tightly over her ears, and she then began rocking back and forth in a jerky motion. High-pitched whimpers escaped between her clenched teeth.

Somehow this new terrified sound grated against my now protective instinct with more force than her blind panic. That fear would be the same for any woman who found herself naked and alone with a shirtless and unknown male in a strange room. This, what I was now witnessing was far beyond that. It was a terror so gripping that to her, fighting it never occurred. My emotions spun full circle and, despite my effort to understand, I just couldn't make any sense of her behavior.

"You're safe," I assured her. "I have no intent to hurt you."

It seemed as if she heard me but just barely. When I began walking toward her she didn't scream or run. Still, I kept my movements slow and obvious. It was a challenge. All I wanted was to hold her to me, to feel the physical proof of her wellbeing. Every cell in my body wanted to touch her to lend reassurance in comfort.

I fought it; I sat on the opposite wall. It took considerable effort to make my 6'5" frame appear smaller and less intimidating but it was what she needed so that's what I did. I folded my legs under my body resting my hands on my knees. She was no longer watching me but her eyes continued racing while the pain in her head seemed to climb higher.

"Where…where am I? Who are you?" She asked, risking a glance at me. Her gaze flickered just as quickly.

Those bright inescapable eyes tried to focus on me. She was successful a few times against the tenterhooks tugging at her countless other unseen directions.

"You have to trust me," I said, moving closer. "I won't hurt you."

She searched my face with as much concentration as she could muster. It wasn't much. I didn't know what her decision was, or if she could make one, but as I made another toward her, she trembled but didn't recoil. My eyes focused solely on hers as if trying to gauge the myriad of colors in those brilliant orbs. I was also trying to get her to focus on me. It worked. I closed the distance between us but I didn't take that last leap. I held my hand out in invitation.

Again, she searched my face. I remained still, not sure of what she needed, wanted, or what I felt about any of this. All of a sudden, her hand darted out to grasp mine. It appeared to be an act of desperation, not trust. To me, her reasons made no difference. I noticed it instantly; the relief she felt the moment the tips of her fingers grazed my palm, and this was the only warning I received before she threw herself into my arms.

The hold she had on me was painful but I wasn't about to complain. I didn't mind because her body was a supple curvaceous form pressed against mine. I should be thinking of sex and I was. She smelled of me though it wasn't enough to have washed away her natural fragrance of lilac and cream-bathed skin with the perfect blend of sunlight. The vampire in me found her delicious, wanting to sink my fangs into her and feed. The man in me was aroused, desiring to taste her in the most intimate of places. The hopelessly mated creature wanted all the same things but only if it was beyond certain that she wanted it too.

This was a night from hell. Normally I had no emotion over most of my actions. At my age, they were all reflexes, actions, or counteractions. In a matter of a few hours these had all but disappeared. Now even the slightest hints of feelings were divided into more slices than I cared to count. I wanted to believe that she felt the same magnetism between us. It would make things so much easier. It would give me hope that this might be easier.

No such luck. The woman clung to me as if I the only thing keeping her tethered to this world. Maybe I was; I couldn't say. I was in no hurry to find out otherwise. I let her take from me all she needed. My fingers ran through her hair and down her back. I even fashioned the sheet back around her to cover her breasts. If I ever needed proof that I was a lost cause, I now had it. The woman had breasts that were shaped to perfection, yet, here I was covering them willingly. Hopeless, I was hopeless.

I don't know how much time passed. Immortality made it almost meaningless, holding her made it even more so. All I knew was that her grip turned from desperate to comfortable. Tension eased from her shoulders. Her breath evened out. I didn't let her go. I didn't move. As much I didn't want this sudden involuntary tie, I couldn't ignore the value it infused into my life, even as it ripped away all I had ever known.

I was five times older than the nation in which I currently resided. I was powerful. I was a hunter's hunter. I was a Sheriff. I was also withdrawn and aloof, even more than the average vampire. There had always been the realization that an integral part of something was missing. With that said, I was in no way gloomy or forlorn. It wasn't in my nature. I had found pleasure in my immortality. I had status; I was the most powerful sheriff of a commanding monarch, I was wealthy and respected, and I owned the very first vampire bar. It afforded me a lifestyle that was beyond comfortable. I had the freedom to fill my pursuits pleasurably, efficiently, or both. All of that didn't mean nearly as much as I thought it would, not with her here.

Some roamed the world searching for their other half. Others ran to avoid it. No matter how old the vampire, there was no solid explanation for this part of our nature. It didn't fit with our image. For the most part, the undead were solitary creatures that could socialize. With fangs, claws, super speed, super strength, mind control, and a slew of other weapons in our arsenals, mating made no sense.

Mating for vampires was the realm before the veil; at least that was how I have always heard it described. Even mated vampires couldn't really describe it. The most they could describe were the feelings. Having just been hit by the force of those I had to agree. Many believed it was a balancing act. The magic that gave you life after death was no longer enough to sustain you, not alone. Mating was a way for those who had reached that grey place, a way back into the night; back into forever.

It was as good an explanation as any but I never once thought it applied to me. Sure, I might have been bored for as far back as I could remember. I had Pam and she would know if I was failing in mind or body but I couldn't refute these…feelings.

What I felt was this bond was as deep a need that rang clear above everything else I didn't know. She was there in that place that tied me by magic to the night and bound me to my kin by blood. I knew that if I cared to look I could see them all on that imperceptible psychic plane; my maker, my brothers and Pam. This woman was in that circle. I felt her in my every cell. This was somehow deeper than blood bonds vampires formed with their humans after three mutual exchanges of blood. I was willing to bet that vampires who formed blood bonds knew the names of their humans. I didn't even have that.

"I know him?" She whispered into the crook of my neck.

By the sound of her voice I knew she hadn't meant for me to hear but of course I did. I heard her question and felt her confusion. Reassuring her unfurled as naturally as any reflex I possessed. My hand ran through her hair, fingers caressing her scalp. Her body melded even closer to mine and I relished her touch. That was how Pam found us. It spoke of my current state that I hadn't even heard her enter the house.

Pam, coward that she was, took one look at my openly adoring face and the woman in my arms, and then she backed away from me clearly afraid of contracting whatever illness or spell that had me bewitched. If the joke hadn't been on me I would have laughed at her expression. Shocked wasn't the word. It was more as if she was flabbergasted and horrified at the same time. I may as well have been in the sun wrapped in a silver storm. She left as quickly and as quietly as she had come as if my condition was contagious. Her appearance went unnoticed by the other person in the room. She was still not ready to let me go and I was still unable to make her.

Finally she pulled away from me, just enough to catch my gaze but not enough to let go of me. Once again, I was looking into those infinite blue eyes. No matter the obvious confusion and twinges of pain, she still captivated. This must be what glamour felt like when we undead used it against mortals. The only exception was I had no compulsion to fall into her eyes, no unnatural lure to continue to stare but it was all I wanted.

"I don't know your name," She said. "I should though, right?"

Yes and no would be the most honest responses to that question. Not wanting to confuse her further or lie to her, I told her a different truth.

"My name is Eric," I said.

Her mouth opened, then she closed it again and her confusion was now accompanied by panic. "You are Eric," She repeated.

This time it wasn't just her eyes that searched my face; she used her fingers. The soft pad of her thumb ran across my cheek and traced the curve of my jaw.

"You're Eric, but who am I?"


	4. Chapter 4

**Felipe**

**Chapter 4**

**Hybrid; ****Origin Unknown**

**Las Vegas, Nevada: Twenty years ago**

Being a vampire King was no different from ruling over any other Kingdom regardless of its size. It was about maintaining power through wealth and instilling order through love, respect, or fear. Fortunately for me, I elicited all three from my subjects. My name is Felipe De Castro and I am the vampire King of Nevada.

This rule has been mine since the division of the Territories by States of the New World. My preferred method for instilling order is respect. I give it, even to my enemies, and I expect it in return. Fear was almost as effective. People who have feared me never crossed me because those who have crossed me never lived long enough to regret it.

What was there to do in Las Vegas but sin? This was the way I built my Kingdom. I didn't compete with the humans who were already here when I became King. I nurtured them and taxed them. When new competition came to town I found a way for them to work together, or helped the most useful group bury the other. Since I settled here, I had been receiving a piece of everything, from horse races to poker games to national sporting events.

I kept the casinos & gambling parlors just so I could keep a tight hold on the idiotic humans as well as a lid on crime syndicates who attempted to interfere with my main affairs. The most lucrative weren't the whores, though they were the most reliable no matter the economic climate. The number one spot was the casinos. They thrived just as well in times of prosperity as in times of unrest.

I needed to make some purchases of the rare kind. There was only person to see for that sort of thing. Saul. He smiled, but it wasn't enough to hide what lay beneath. Saul wasn't threatening; physically or politically. Still, anybody with any sense played his game. Forever is a long time. It was better to be Saul's friend because you never knew when you might need him. He was just one of those people who knew something about everything. No matter what you were looking to buy, be it zombies or Hell Hounds, he could get his hands on it. I was in need of new merchandise of all sorts, from working girls to false identifications for my people. There was no place else I could go to get it all at one time. He was the exception; one-stop shopping. That was Saul.

Anybody who laid eyes on the Samoan vampire would think him mad. It might have something to do with the way he clad himself in attire of a 15th century Royal who dressed in the dark. Tonight was no different. He had on violent green tights, knee-high purple boots, and an intricately beaded tunic in several loud shades of yellow. It was all a gimmick. He wanted buyers to approach him as if he was an idiot and people who did so barely kept the shirts on their backs at the end of the transaction.

Tonight the traveling salesman brought an auction with him to town. Saul rented the entire top floor of the MGM Grand Hotel to serve as his shop while he was in town. In return, he would offer me special considerations. I couldn't arrive when the auction began but I also didn't want to miss prime merchandise. I was just in time for the featured product of this tour. It was a human and she was stunning.

From the arch of her neck, the slant of her shoulder, and the luscious flow of her hair, she was enchanting. Her supple, curvaceous frame was a showcase of gold and white silk. By my estimate, she had to wearing at least $100,000 in the precious metal. Bangles decorated her bare ankles and feet. Golden bands hung on the upper parts of her arms. Every part of her was draped in gold marked with intricate designs of a far-off place and time. The top she wore cascaded from a lacey headdress atop her flowing mane of blonde hair, covered her breasts, and decorated her neck. The artistry was evident and no detail was spared. It gave the jewelry a light, delicate feel but it was no less expensive or titillating. It was salacious, but covered her breasts, yet it did nothing to hide the perfection of the full mounds.

The only piece of actual fabric that covered her was a short white sarong. Over it was a thick golden belt hung low on her waist to weigh down the flimsy silk skirt. Her face was covered, not even her eyes were visible because her head was bowed as she tugged expertly at the large cherry wood harp. She was painted with lavish elegant brush strokes much the same as a princess from long ago. Her complexion was fair but held a glow as if kissed by the sun. It complemented the amount of gold she wore. I knew she was going to go on the auction block last. I also knew she would be worth ten times the amount of gold she wore.

In the end I walked away the victor. Her name was Michelle Stackhouse and she cost me $750,000. It was the most I had ever spent on a girl but it costs money to make money. I was certain the human I now owned would double her original cost. I wasn't wrong. Shelly wasn't just another whore. She was a fantasy lover. Within her first year, she had raked in close to six million dollars, excluding jewelry and cars gifted to her which I never touched. Men didn't want just her body, they wanted her love. They went broke trying and she let them. In short, she was the best investment I ever made. There were several classes of working girls. The average was by the hour. They worked the brothels, bars, and clubs. They came from the usual story that gave life to hookers; drugs, debt, lack of skills and so on. The others were the escorts. They were the college students who just needed the extra money because it would get them where they wanted as fast as possible. They took their appointments at my hotels or casinos. The woman I was looking at was leaps and bounds beyond anything I currently had in my roster of high class girls.

I built the Diamond Collection around Michelle Stackhouse, and made her my crown jewel. While I couldn't duplicate her effect on men, she trained other girls with potential so they were able to get close. Her clients were few but she had to be purchased several months at a time. She was the most sought after girl I have ever seen, so much so that special allowances had been made for her, such as her own mini-mansion in the suburbs. She was provided with anything she desired to maintain her profit margin. She always exceeded expectations.

Old as I was, I'd mastered my role to the point where it took very little effort for me to handle most day-to-day operations. The most powerful vampires in my state had sworn fealty. I employed and bribed the right humans. It left me feeling as if I could do so much more; when the time was right I was sure I would.

For a vampire my age, I had more children than most. It might be attributed to the time in which my human life began. I wasn't sure. My first child had been an accident. I was born in Spain during the 13th century. I had been destined for greatness even then. I had known it and not even death would stop it, in fact, death had insured my ascension. In my human life I had been royalty, tenth in line for the throne for all of Spain and Her many conquered territories.

The same priest who had married my parents and baptized me returned to the area when conflict struck and turned me into a vampire. When living things waged wars, they weren't the only ones to suffer casualties. It was a time of unrest as the Moors and the Muslim army conquered more than half the Iberian Peninsula. Looking back, I was now sure he had been trying to preserve a part of a heritage he believed would be lost. He had feared the fall of his country, its people, and subjugation. What fate had in store for me had been so much more.

One minute I'd been walking through the courtyard of the palace when I saw the familiar face. I awoke to total darkness, buried in a shallow, hastily dug grave. My Maker had not survived to see me rise to this new life. This meant I had dug myself free, and then had to learn control and survival on my own. Survival was instinctual but learning not to kill my food was not. Many of my first meals did not survive. This was how I made my first child, by accident.

Sa'ire was a soldier and he came with the invading army. These soldiers became my targeted food source immediately after my turning. My moral compass was then not yet set. I was conflicted when I killed but I assuaged my guilt with the notion that if people had to die, it should be my enemies. They didn't belong here. It was their fault I had lost all that I had ever known. I also did not have the control for glamour then so I used force and I enjoyed the fight. None of them fought like Sai. He had fought hard enough to take his wounds from damaging to fatal. Amidst the fray, he had wounded me to the point where there had been an unintended blood exchange.

I should have killed him. I had come within a breath of it. I couldn't. The instant I'd arisen to this undead life there had been an empty, cavernous feeling that should have been filled by my Maker, but the priest was gone. When my blood began to give life to Sai, the emptiness waned. I knew on instinct that his was now a face I could trust and when you had forever there was nothing more valuable; even then I knew he would take a thorn that was due me. I needed a warrior such as him on my side.

Since that night, I had made three more children. Sai was a fighter. He served as my bodyguard. Neiman came two hundred years later. He, too, was a fighter but despite his severe features and warrior physique, he also seemed to have a sixth sense for reading people. Together with his elder brother, they served to provide a more than formidable unit to defend me.

Oliver was the third of my sons. At 300-hundred-years old, he had stood out because his mind was beyond all others of his time. He wasn't necessarily brilliant. He was a forward thinker, so much so that not much seemed bizarre or strange to him. With time, his thirst for knowledge only grew; he hadn't lost his innovative thinking and I knew he never would.

Zander was the youngest of my sons at just over one hundred. He wasn't a guard. He could never be serious enough for it, but his role was just as important. He had a way with people and, at the time I found him, we were all in dire need of such a guide. In the times that passed this trait of his was no less valuable. He helped us all relate to the time in which we lived and to the people who surrounded us. It provided an advantage.

None of them, excepting Sai, had been accidental and none of them had made any others. I couldn't exactly say why. It wasn't something I denied them. They never showed any desire to do so or roam on their own. Of all my sons, Zander and Oliver were the ones I saw the least. It didn't mean they were less dear to me. I still loved them and they still served me but it was from a distance. Zander made sure I was in the favor of the most influential humans of the time. Oliver managed our personal incomes. He made the proper investments, stayed ahead of all the technological advances to make certain nothing posed a threat to us, and to find an advantage for us wherever he could.

I would have liked to have kept them all them close because they all brought something beneficial to the table. It wasn't possible or safe. Having that many people so close together who shared a sole bloodline was too much for all to bear. The last time all of us were together for more than a year, Sai broke Zander's neck and Neiman broke Oliver's jaw. I was the channel for all of their emotions, referee to their fights, and a blood source to heal injuries. It was much too taxing.

While I was powerful, even I couldn't tame all those ties simultaneously. The most we could stand was six to eight months at a time. Their personalities didn't allow for more. With the growing advances in technology it was more than they needed. Oliver was in England and Zander was in Canada. Through technology, I maintained daily contact with them.

Tonight was a rare night off. These instances came few and far between. When they did, I enjoyed them to their fullest. This year I was fortunate to find myself at something called "Comic-Con." I couldn't say exactly what it was, but it was teeming with excitement and that always drew the attention of vampires. It was also a great opportunity to feed and fuck.

Therefore, I stood off in the darkest shadow watching as the crowd of humans embodied the personas of creatures from the supernatural to aliens. That was where Heidi, my tracker, found me. The small female vampire came in from downwind so her scent would announce her presence. When she was close enough for her scent to carry, she remained still as a statue. It wasn't until Sai waved her forward that she approached. It wasn't just for propriety's sake. This was the safest means for anyone approaching my child. Sneaking up on Sai was a guaranteed way to lose a limb.

"Your Majesty," She said with a deep bow.

I nodded absently. It was both to serve as an acknowledgment and a sign for her to get on with it. I was hungry.

"Bruce called. A girl from the Diamond Collection has gone missing," She said.

Bruce Jaynes was the overseer of my working girls. He provided security and maintenance of the whores; he wasn't cruel, but he wasn't kind. He was right where he should be, specialized in the art of bullshit. There wasn't one of my girls had been forced into their profession. Still, every now and then there was a runaway. The ones who tried that were those who either owed money for freebies or they had broken the rules by trying to blackmail a client. Both were unacceptable. While this bit of news was interesting, it was only mildly so. It was still Bruce's territory. It certainly didn't warrant Heidi interrupting my dinner.

"It's Michelle Stackhouse," The tracker continued. "He said you would know her."


	5. Chapter 5

Felipe

Chapter 5

Gifted

Immediately she had my attention. In the three and one-half years that Michelle had been with me, she had received at least six marriage proposals. More than one of her clients had tried to run off with her "to save her" as if she had any desire for such useless notions. She wasn't a damsel in distress seeking her knight; she was a woman aware of her power. She didn't want love; she sold a flawless imitation of it for financial gain, and wanted nothing to do with marriage. This made her the perfect whore, so I was confused.

In her time with me, we never had a single issue. As far as humans under my employ counted, she was high on my list. Michelle would not run, not ever. It left only one other possibility.

"Where is she?" Sai asked.

"Morgue," Heidi answered bluntly.

All three of us settled our unblinking eyes on the tracker. I felt her desire to cower. I averted my eyes to alleviate her distress. "She was raped and strangled just outside her house by some frat boy from New York."

"I do not understand, Heidi," I said. I wasn't even attempting to hide my emotions so my confusion was clear as day.

Any other species would have misconstrued that statement. It was a threat and she knew it. There was no reason, absolutely no reason, why my best girl should be in a morgue. The female vampire looked at her feet and it told me all I needed to know. Whoever had harmed Michelle had been warned about where he was and whose toy he was playing with; he simply thought himself to be above the law. While that may have been true for every other person he had insulted in his life, he had severely misjudged me. I wasn't human. I was a very dangerous creature, not because I was a vampire but because I was a predator. I was a predator whose property had been trifled with and defiled.

Anyone of any species who came close to my property was warned of the consequences of not behaving themselves. I didn't like killing or torturing. The cleanup was a bitch but exceptions had to be made. Whoever this frat boy was, all the Gods combined could not save him. He would take a very long time to die and his death would not be easy.

When this unfortunate creature came before me, he would know that he was going to meet the Devil before death, long before he went to Hell. On the upside, what Sai had concocted for his punishment would desensitize him to Hell's torments before he got there. The best he could hope for now was to commit suicide before Heidi found him. That didn't seem likely. She excelled at her craft. If she knew who this man was, he was already as good as dead.

I spent the remainder of what was supposed to be a night off overseeing the cleanup of the event. In truth, there was nothing to clean up. The story just needed to be kept out of every newspaper article. The details the police officials needed had to be distorted as much as possible. Luckily, for me, Michelle was the perfect working girl. She had no family and her only friends were other whores. Close to three million in deposit refunds had to go out to three of Michelle's clients. That was infuriating. She had been booked well into the next year and now she was gone.

It was the definition of irony. She went to church but it didn't appear to stem from a need to repent. I never looked deeper into the matter. It didn't affect her job. Neither did her generosity with children's charities. On this particular Sunday death awaited her. A hooker was killed on a Sunday afternoon on her way from church.

All the working girls had some type of protection detail. Being the best meant Michelle had the best. Her home was equipped with a state-of-the-art security system. The majority of her clients took her with them on extended trips. Whether she traveled to Milan or entertained them in Rio, she had bodyguards. There were also police on my payroll that routinely patrolled the Areas where my girls worked.

The safety provisions I'd provided were not a matter of attachment. None of this was really about trespassing or even property destruction though both aspects were present. Ultimately, it came down to respect. This little human shit thought he could take from a vampire King? He thought he could destroy my property, get on a flight, and all so he could get away with it? He would soon learn just how wrong he was.

By nine the next evening I was staring the trespasser in the face. His name was Matthew Ward. He was a soon-to- be-married, generic male of his generation. If not for the scent of death and terror still clinging to his fingers and hair, he might have passed for normal. The young man had been kept under thrall for the day and when he was released from it, he blinked as confusion lit upon his face.

"Where the hell am I?" He asked. "Who the fuck are you?"

If there was anything time had taught me, it was that proper etiquette went much further than direct questioning. No matter the fury that was roiling under the surface, I used this opportunity to be civil. Having been raised as royalty in my human life meant that I was taught there was never any excuse for bad manners.

"I am Felipe," I said in hello. "Regrettably, Mr. Ward, it appears that we have a problem."

This minor accusation gave the man-child confidence. His fear faded as a look of supreme condescension and annoyance took over. He might be worried about offending someone he thought equal to him. Insulting a foreigner was nothing. He presumed he could get away with it. This didn't bother me. I knew that within the hour this hijo de puta would be showing his true colors. To my right, Sai was rolling up the sleeves to his sweater. For someone who did the knife work, he enjoyed long sleeves, light colors, and nice suits.

"I don't know any Felipes, _hombre_," He retorted, snickering. "But nice try, Josh!" He called, looking around. "You're gonna have to do better than a little Mexican dude in a cape and a shitty warehouse."

Disdain was clear in his voice and on his face. Then he looked around the warehouse with wide eyes. Whatever he was looking for, he must have found it because he began to laugh. Humans... There was something about the species that was so incredibly obtuse one couldn't help but want to slap them. Surely, it could do no more harm to their innate stupidity.

"You assaulted my top girl," I continued.

"Wait…" Matthew said. "This is about some whore?" He let out a deep chortle. "She gave me a freebie! That's not my fault. Look, amigo, if you need the money so bad I'll pay up. What do I owe you, two, three hundred dollars?"

None of us wasted the words to tell him that even on his richest day; he couldn't afford to shake Michelle's hand.

"I am talking about the one you met on your way back to the hotel. She is the same one you followed home. You recall, do you not? The woman you raped and strangled," Without paying or permission might I add which was just rude, I thought.

The human's face turned a shade of green and the formally not-too-distant smile was now a mask of sheer panic. I was sure the man would have denied everything, but the details of his crimes were too precise, and I was much too calm to be bluffing.

"Yes, that is the one. She happened to be _Mine_," I growled the last word as I could no longer hide my ire over what this fool had caused. The loss that I had suffered with Michelle's death was insurmountable. If I had to put a number on it, approximately $750,000 million dollars was lost if calculated by the odds that by the end of her life if she died at seventy years of age; now even more was lost because clients who had booked her had to have their deposits returned with ten percent interest for their troubles.

While Michele still had her clients, they were few. They paid handsomely but she had other duties at which she had proven exceptional. Bruce had told me he relied on her input and not once did he have any regret. She had even been granted buying and recruitment power. The two she had brought on board, a pair of twins, were breaking bank. The other girls she trained who weren't in the Diamond Collection loved her and wanted to be her. I couldn't replicate the admiration she inspired. That alone was reason enough to pull this human's intestines out through his crooked little nose.

"Allow me to repeat, we have a problem."

"I want my phone call," Mr. Ward said. "I invoke my right to counsel."

Heidi replied because she was the only one who wasn't sure that this young man was insane. He had to be if he thought this was going to end with me handing him over to anyone. There was not going be a phone call. There was no due process, nor reasonable doubt to consider. This was Vampire Court. Clear as a full moon, there was blood on his hands and he had to answer for it with his own.

"If you are religious, start praying," Heidi urged. "For nothing but divine province can change the horrid fate awaiting you."

It might have been her tone or the brutish, hungry-looking vampires who had filed into the warehouse. The human caught one look at them, lost all pretense of calm, and just dissolved into outright begging. "Wait, my dad is Senator Michael Ward."

"Congratulations," Sai said with a shrug. "But we're not registered to vote."

"He'll give you anything you want not to hurt me! Just name your price. I swear my dad will pay!"

His family didn't come from old money. In the hopes of trying to recoup the loss, I had Oliver run both his finances and those of his family. His father had money by human standards but it wouldn't make a dent in what his son owed me. Since they didn't have money, I would take blood in trade. Again, it was also a matter of respect. He came into the heart of my territory and dealt a deathblow. In return, I was going to show this human vermin just how low he ranked on a rung in my world.

"Worry not, Mr. Ward," I assured him. "I cannot kill you because of your family name, but I will show you that there are worse things."

I saw his lips move but I didn't hear a single word. I continued speaking as if I hadn't been interrupted because in truth, I hadn't. What were the cries of one vile criminal to the word of a King? Nothing. Mr. Ward wasn't worth the breath it took for me to form words, but I was giving him the honor all the same.

"These men here," I pointed to the place where his welcoming committee was preparing for his party. They had chains and barbed whips. Two were already naked and erect. One was sharpening a spoon into a dull point.

"They will redefine your definition of rape, degradation, and brutality. They will desecrate your soul. When you are nothing but a broken, tattered shell begging for death, you will then be delivered safely home where you will carry the memories of your crime and punishment for the rest of your days." There would be no glamour used to erase neither his crime nor his punishment.

I rose to my feet as the gang of bloodthirsty sycophants swarmed on the human. All I heard were the sounds of fabric tearing and the blood curdling screams for mercy that would never come. The minute I entered the car, the noise faded and the human was forgotten. It was back to business as usual.

As was routine, Michelle's home was cleaned out and all her assets properly allocated to any family that could be found. That was how her child was discovered.

"Her first client was a doctor. The logs say he kept her for a year so it does make sense," Sai told me.

I was busy and this matter was taking more of my time than was acceptable.

"I do not care," I replied. "I have done my part so end this matter. Nim, if the child is a threat, erase her memory, give her away, or…"

He shook his head.

That gave me pause.

"What do you mean?" I asked curiously.

It was Sai who replied. "She does not respond to glamour in the least," My eldest explained. "When I stared into her eyes I met a wall. That wouldn't seem odd if she wasn't a child, an infant really. We tried together and used enough force to turn her brain to mush but nothing happened."

"We are sure Michelle's first client was human?" I asked.

They both nodded.

"What did you get?" I asked. The question was directed at Nim. He saw more. That might be why he spoke so little. He talked when he absolutely had to and even then he didn't say much.

"I cannot see," He replied.

This was worth looking into. Michelle had been my property. The child was also my property by extension. It was afforded some protection. If I had to kill it, I would, but only if the outcome could not be helped.

"Bring her to me," I ordered.


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N:** If you are no good at waiting then I will suggest not reading this chapter. I will not be doing multiples after this at least not this many at once. I mean this time.

* * *

**Felipe**

**Chapter 6**

**The Orphan Who Would Be Queen**

Lately the entire vampire species was orchestrating a Great Revelation. It was something I had always known was inevitable. Technologically, the world was advancing faster than most vampires were able to handle. It was only a matter of time before some human stumbled onto the undead species. It was best for us to make our stand.

The greatest push came in the collection and storage of blood. Admittedly that was something I never thought possible, but living forever meant you had no choice but to keep an open mind. Bagged blood would make vampires appear benign, like humans and milk. Now that there was talk of artificial blood, there was nothing to hold my kind in the shadows any longer. That was what had been taking most of my attention. I was preparing for what would happen if the Revelation turned into a witch hunt.

The desert was good for hiding. This was what attracted me to the Narayana Territory in the first place. Geographically it was large; however, it was made up of only four states, California, Washington, Oregon and Nevada. While all other royals were focusing on shoring up their defenses, I was focusing on my wealth. I wasn't greedy. I just knew there were few problems money couldn't solve.

It was almost dawn when I was able to leave the office but I wasn't finished working yet. There was still the matter of Michelle Stackhouse's child. My last stop of the night was a small apartment in Reno where Neiman was waiting with the child.

By all calculations, the child couldn't be more than three-years-old. When I set eyes on her I had to re-read the reports. She was rather puny though it might have only appeared as such because she was curled into a ball on the couch. She had a mass of bright blonde curls obscuring everything else about her face as she slept.

Without needing to be told, Neiman sat the child up. He snapped his fingers by her ears and shook her slightly to make her alert. She rubbed her pale blue eyes that were almost too big for her face, and began wailing immediately. The noise was cut off rather abruptly when Neiman inserted a bottle in her mouth. I didn't think he knew anything about children, but then again it was simple science. She couldn't cry if she was drinking. While she drank, she eyed me and Sai speculatively. Nim, it seemed, had passed her inspection.

"Hello," I greeted. "I am Felipe. Can you tell me your name?"

"Sookie," She said, setting the bottle down.

"Mama here?" She asked, looking around. Her speech was odd but I supposed it was a marker of her young age. As long as we could have a conversation, I would try to see if her life could be saved.

"No," I replied. "If you know your father I can have you brought to him."

By the look on her face she didn't know. None of the other girls who were asked even knew Michelle had been with child or given birth. She wasn't the child of Michelle's first client. The obvious explanation was she had been pregnant when I acquired her which meant Saul and I had a problem, not a serious one; nonetheless, it was the principle of the matter. He had sold me something without having done due diligence.

There must be someone that could give me information on her. "Who looks after you while your mother works?"

"I do it," She answered.

She was speaking to me but she wasn't looking my way. It was more as if she was trying to see into me. She was looking for something and when she didn't find it her face fell.

"She hurt," Her eyes misted but she didn't cry. "Da bad man hurt mama," She said.

That sealed her fate. Everything she carried in her head about the death of her mother contradicted all the clean-up that had been done. She looked at me and I couldn't help but think what a waste this was. There was no fear, just her acceptance that she was alone. Had she been a woman she would have had a future as one of my top girls. She was child, a threat, and so I had no use for her. Then again, it might be a mercy. As long as I've lived I knew what happened to the children no one cared for or wanted. At least if I had to kill her, it would be a quick, clean death.

Sai's mind was along the same line as mine. Already he was rolling up the sleeve of his shirt. The human child would not see him coming. She would not get a chance to register fear and pain. It was the best that could be done for her.

"I sawed him tink bad tings 'n' say bad words," She whispered into her knees.

Sai was almost upon her and he stopped mid-step without me having to wave him off. Together we stared at the child. There was something odd, not just about her recount of the event, but about her. I saw to what Neiman was referring. It took a bit to notice, but, with keener senses, it was visible. There was a kind of oddness to her. It was similar to staring at light waves passing through a medium. There was something there but you had to look just right, if you paid it too little attention, you missed it, and if you attempted to grasp too hard, it vanished.

It wasn't that the child was impaired. Something marked her as other. Her scent was alluring as well, much as her mothers'. Her soft features were beguiling. Faced with these facts, her immunity to glamour, and her mother's ability to enchant men, it made sense; Michelle Stackhouse couldn't have been completely human. Even if she had been, her daughter most certainly was not. Whatever she was, she was gifted, and she was now mine. I just wasn't sure how best to use her.

"How did you get away from the bad man?" Nim asked gently.

There was no doubt in any of our minds that if her mother's attacker had known she was there, he would have killed her too.

She gave him that same inquisitive look she had been giving me, searching. It didn't tell her what she wanted. Cautiously she reached her hand out and Nim leaned into her touch. Then she went silent. She tucked her body back into a little ball, rocking while she wept silently. Sai and I left, leaving Nim to watch over her. There was something more here, and I was missing it. I refused to make a decision without all the facts.

"What do you think?" I asked Sai.

He nodded. "Resistance at her age, especially when faced with ours is worth something. We could retire one of the older girls and give her the child to raise while we monitor her closely."

"There is more to this," I added. "More to her, I feel it."

We both knew it but knew she wouldn't tell us. She was either too distraught or too afraid. There was a good chance she may have been entirely unaware. We couldn't glamour her and hurting her to discover just what it might be was pointless given her age. I reentered the room and she was no longer crying. She had washed her face to hide away there had ever been any tears. It was useless, though I gained respect for her at the effort all the same. She saw me and had no fear in her eyes. She was searching again.

"What is are you looking for?" I ask, waving Nim out of the room.

She shook her head and retreated back to the couch. I sat beside her, not close enough to crowd but enough to touch. While she was getting comfortable with my presence I read through some reports of the activity in my Area. All the while I felt her eyes on me, though to her credit, she was trying to be covert. Throughout the course of her inspection she had unconsciously moved closer.

"If you tell me what it is you are looking for, I may be able to help," I offered after a half-hour.

This time she didn't shrink back as she reluctantly answered. "No 'opposed to say cause you'll tink I a freek." She whispered quietly almost of as if she was reminding her self of earlier scoldings.

Then her eyes returned to mine seemingly as if she couldn't resist. Her brow furrowed as if she were concentrating on a difficult puzzle.

"You a freek too?"

There is a deciding moment that defines the destiny of all great people. This was mine. I saw it in the child's eyes. She wanted love and I could give it. I wanted to rise higher and she could light the way. Turning to her, I held my arms open in invitation. She was tired and like any other living thing, she did not want to be alone.

"Come," I encouraged. "You will be safe with me. I promise."

Without hesitation she scurried into my lap. Her tiny hands clasped around my neck as if they were small vises. I was no longer the source of her fear so I could make myself her refuge.

"I know you are special," I murmured, rubbing her back. "Will you tell me how, please?"

She pulled away and looked at me as if I was missing an eye or a nose. She even rubbed the side of my face but whatever she was looking for continued to elude her.

"You a freek wike me?" She repeated, this time more hopefully.

"Do you know freak is another word for unique or special?" I asked. "It is those who are not special in any way who use that word."

"See-no-mums," She said with a nod. "Same."

I couldn't help but smile. While she knew exactly what she was talking about her mouth could barely handle the big word.

"Your brain is far beyond the ability of your tongue."

Her face fell and she nodded glumly, "That why I'm a fre…"

I gently squeezed her in reproach. "Simple words are for simple people with simple minds," I corrected. "You are no simpleton."

"Seem-bullon…," She seemed to be searching her mind but came up with nothing, "Wat dat?"

"What is that?" I corrected.

"Wat _is_ dat?" She parroted.

"Something you are not."

She thought about it as I continued to walk with her in my arms. "No freek or simbullon …"

She was looking up at me as if she was waiting for me to define her and I gave her a title that I knew she would live up to. "You are my first daughter. You are a princess, my princess. One day, mija, you will be a Queen without rival and I will teach you the ways."

She didn't respond. She just threw herself into my arms and held on more tightly.

"Preencess."

"Sì, you are."

"If I a fre…" I cut my eyes at her in a disapproving manner.

She knew why. "If I bad I can still be preencess?"

She wanted to tell me what she could do. It was fear that kept it restrained. I didn't wear much jewelry but I had a penchant for earrings. Tonight I was wearing white gold studs with black diamonds. I took the left one out of my ear and fastened it onto hers.

"Yes, even then," I assured her.

That show of support made her decision. Sai and Nim were in the room but she didn't seem worried in the least.

"I see inside here," She said, tapping her skull. "Here too," She gestured over her heart. She hesitated as if she had said too much but she was met with my bland expression. "I not mean to but if I get real mad a' times people tink and see somefin else acause a me."

I had to replay her words over in my head a few times but I finally got the gist of it, and it explained much of what she knew; how she had seen her mother's killer, how she had evaded him, and it also explained the penetrating gazes we'd been given and were currently receiving. We were as immune to her gift as she was to ours. Michelle Stackhouse was the best investment I had ever made.

Sookie fell into a ten-minute monologue none of us understood. She did her best to enunciate and articulate, but between her physically-limited speech and some medical jargon, it made it impossible to make heads or tails of her explanation. There was a mention of a Dr. Wexler along with a few recurring words that sounded strangely like "neurological" and "synapses". How they fit into her ability to deflect glamour was very unclear.

"You no see," She sighed, furrowing her brow.

None of us did except Nim. "Dr. Wexler is a neuropsychopathologist whom her mother contacted because she didn't talk as she grew, but showed no other signs of developmental delays."

"You got that…from _that_?" Sai asked, clearly stunned.

Nim shrugged.

I began walking off toward our day chambers with Sookie in my arms. Both her elder brothers were walking behind us. Sai was arranging for her daytime care. I preferred to sleep in a coffin but I took the bed because she wanted to stay with me. I hadn't fed in a few days but I ignored her scent.

"I will take care of you now," I told her.

She shook her head, "I do it."

"No," I replied. "You will sleep now. When you awake I will have someone here to look after you properly."

The tone of my voice brooked no argument. While she could feed herself, she was unkempt. She had very beautiful hair that no one had taken the time to brush or style. Her clothes were fine, but it was very obvious she had dressed herself or; more to the point, it looked as if Saul had dressed her. Such a shabby, bedraggled appearance was unfit for any child of mine, no matter the species.

"I do it," She argued.

This was a lesson that she was going to have to learn. I was the Law. "I am a King. I will do it."

She was going to say more but a yawn overtook her and her eyes watered. I took that as her acceptance and pretended to drift off. She cuddled closer to me and was asleep two minutes later.

* * *

**Closing A/N:** Okay so I feel like I have provided enough chapters to help folks make up their mind. You can kind of see the premise of the story, so what do you think?


	7. Chapter 7

**Felipe**

**Chapter 7**

**Groomed To Perfection**

It was not my intention to care for Sookie directly, nor did I have the time. I purchased a different house nearby. It was fully staffed with humans that would provide her with anything she might need. The staff were all besotted with her immediately and she seemed happy with the attention. It was the nannies that Sookie took exception to. She went through two of them in a week. After the third one resigned unceremoniously, I came to see her and I was not amused.

"A princess exudes grace. There is quiet dignity in all that she does," I scolded.

Instead of hanging her head in shame she stared at me in the eyes and nodded. "Yeah."

I glared at her for the use of colloquial speech.

"Yes." she corrected. "Yes, Dada. I know."

"Obviously you do not," I continued, still very much displeased and intent on making it known. "You have been behaving like some wildling, poor manners, no self control, screaming and shouting, doing everything I have said a Princess should not."

A confused expression played across her soft features. She turned to Nim for help. "Dada say..."

Then I was no longer able to follow the speech. When her brother translated he spared me his usual clipped wording. My patience was as scant as my time at the moment.

"You will never have to beg a favor if you properly chart the course." he said.

For what had to be the first time his solemn expression wavered. It was indistinguishable on his face but evident in his words.

Sookie nodded her head vigorously, grateful for his help. "See dada say so."

I did. It was the second night she spent with me. I had been on the phone with Lysander. We were having the same dispute over his fantasy career and I had spoken those same words. Sookie asked what it meant and I explained, thinking nothing of it and assuming the concept was beyond her.

I'd told her, "Asking for something is the least effective way of getting it,"

Apparently I had underestimated her. She knew exactly how she was expected to behave but she knew even better what behaviors would bring me to her which I assumed had been her aim.

"Well done." I said with a slight nod and a smile.

She preened at the compliment and held up her arms. I picked her up. "Now, let us see if you can best me again."

It was a challenge that she took to with not only intellect that should be ages beyond her but enthusiasm. I kept her as close as possible, but it wasn't as trying as one might expect from a human Sookie was engaged it was easy to forget she was there if not for her breathing. I took full advantage of that.

One of the many things I had noticed so far about my daughter was the elongated pauses while she was in the middle of a conversation. She seemed to "space out". The more I observed it, the more obvious it became. She wasn't just hearing the words; like a sponge, she was absorbing them and attempting to deduce their meanings and assimilate them with things she already knew.

Sookie's days were filled with lessons ranging from academic and strategic to mild combat and light weapons training of the most basic level. She was learning several languages simultaneously. She excelled at all of it without really trying. I pushed her harder. If half her effort made her good then she could be great.

It took Heidi a few months to track down Eugene Wexler. He was in Manhattan. Since he wasn't the property of any undead there, he was fair game. No regents in all three Kingdoms would welcome my presence on their property. I just had to wait for him to wander out of the boundaries of the state. That took a bit of sophistry but a week later; I had cleanly extracted him from his life there.

In the time it took, I had explained the breakdown of the vampire Monarchies to my daughter. She knew the names and available statistics of every King, Queen, and their Seconds-in-Command. She retained the information with an ease common for her.

Tonight we were leaving the suburbs and going into the city. That was where Heidi was with Dr. Wexler. The prospect of seeing him pleased her. I watched as her servant dressed her. I didn't frown on her using her ability to manipulate their will.

We made a game of it. She would influence them and myself or her brothers had to discern who's will she had toyed with. Doing this helped her refine the gift. Now, instead of blind intrusions that were obvious and left her servants confused and distressed, she could be subtle.

I watched her and she seemed distracted. It wasn't until her servant was gone did she speak on the matter.

"Dada," she called.

"Yes Shy,"

"Sai not wike me, why that?"

Of course she noticed that. It was his dislike that led to her nickname. 'Sa-shy' meant 'Runt' in his mother tongue. He meant for it to be derogatory; I desensitized my daughter to it by using it as a term of endearment. Oddly enough Sai was the only one that had any negative reaction to having a human join the clan.

Lysander was too happy to no longer be the youngest to care. Oliver commended my thinking "outside the box." Nim saw her like he would any of the others. Sai was less than pleased. I would say it was because he had to deal with her the most but there was also a bit of jealousy.

"Sai does not like me, why is that?" I corrected.

She nodded and repeated her question with my corrections. As easily as she learned, speech was the one thing she needed to be forced to practice. Not being understood made her dislike it even more. She even went through the trouble of teaching herself Sign language. I was impressed but still forced her to use words.

"He is your brother," I replied, fastening a diamond and sapphire brooch on her sweater. "He has to protect and provide for you, but he doesn't have to be your friend. He has to love you, but he doesn't have to like you. No one does."

She took a few minutes to absorb this and formulate a reply. "Nim wikes me," She contested. "And Zee and Ollie and you too, dada, huh?"

I nodded, "Yes, this is so, but you must understand that there is only one you. You have a father and four brothers. Calculate the probability of all of us feeling the same exact thing at the same exact time."

"Not so good," She answered with a pout and mournful shake of her head. "Maybe wess cuz Sai's so cranky."

I nodded; of course, she was correct, "Sì, but you want to know a secret?"

She grinned and leapt into my arms. "Tell me."

I kissed her head, "Sai doesn't like anyone."

When she was dressed, we met Sai and Nim through the side doors.

She was talking to Nim on the elevator ride, when suddenly she stopped. Naturally we followed suit. "He sounds funny."

As if it was the most normal thing, I nodded in understanding, "Funny? What do you mean?"

"Wike mud in his head," She surmised.

Her eyes were fixated on a wall dead ahead. By the scent, I knew that was the direction Heidi and the doctor had gone.

"She hurt Dr. Wexler," Sookie said with a furious scowl.

Her voice was calm and she was unblinking. She was staring as if she could see through the distance and physicality as if she was in his head. "I wike him. I hate bad lady."

Clearly, she was going to do something, and I wanted to see it. I set her down on her feet and let her have at it. I wasn't disappointed. Suddenly a crash shook the entire floor. It originated from the room in which Heidi awaited us. I picked the child up and, in sync, Nim and Sai formed a wall in front of us.

Out of the blue came a scream so filled with terror and pain, it sounded an alarm in the mind of every guest on this floor. It was Heidi and she sounded as though the devil was ripping her soul from her body through her nose. The doctor could be heard trying to help calm her but she was beyond anything anyone could do. Together we all looked down at Sookie whose eyes were narrowed slits and the expression on her face was one of single-minded ferocity. This was her doing.

I knew if I ordered her to stop she would, but this was a new development. Nothing she had ever done in the minds of her servants had hurt them and I assumed vampires were utterly exempt from her abilities. Heidi was suffering but her torment wasn't in vain. I needed to know what Sookie could do and how well she could control it. This was the fastest way. In fact, if I had known I would have orchestrated something similar much sooner.

Subsequently, just as suddenly as it started the commotion died down. Sookie looked up at me and saw my awe. She misinterpreted it. Her face fell and she began to cry. Her arms were up signaling for me to hold her. I placed my arms across my chest, refusing to do such a thing.

"Are you hurt?" I asked.

Whatever she may have done might have been taxing for her as well. I wasn't sure but I didn't think that was the case. It appeared as though she came to and found three vampires with confused expressions staring at her and the uncertainty upset her. That was an unacceptable reason for tears.

She hiccupped but shook her head. "No."

"Then you will silence yourself and you will do so now," I ordered.

My disappointment in her behavior won over her reflex to cry. It took her a few minutes and great effort but she sniffled herself into silence.

"Princesses do not cry," I said gently. "When they do, it must be in the rain. Anything less will mar her title."

She nodded miserably and wiped her tears. Her face was turned up to me so I could see that she was, indeed, no longer crying. It was then I gathered her into my arms and held her. She clung on tight enough for me to feel the pressure of her tiny arms.

"They certainly do not shed tears for their lessers or subjects." I continued, running my finger through her hair. "Her will is their duty. If it pleases her to cause them pain, then it should please them to suffer,"

She shook her head, fighting fresh tears. "I not wike to be bad to her but don't want her to be bad to Dr. Wexler neither," She replied.

I rocked her and murmured to her, "You are my darling daughter. You know this."

She nodded and held onto me tighter, "Yes. I wove you dada."

"And you know I love you so you must never despair, mija, not ever," I said, kissing her nose and patting her tears with my handkerchief. "I will help you write your will upon this world but it will not be with tears, tears are no good for writing, es verdad?"

"Es verdad," She agreed.

"This is an important lesson," I said, setting her back on her feet and straightening her clothes. "Just like a princess exudes grace and dignity. A Queen must be able to command. She must be able to part a crowd with a single glance and calm a storm with a whisper. For now, I want you to call your doctor friend to attention. Tell him what to do, make him listen to you, with words only."

We entered the room. With the exception of one overturned chair, there were no visible signs of a struggle. Sookie looked around the room and I could practically see the wheels in her head. She stared at the other human in expectation but nothing happened. He was huddled over Heidi trying to resuscitate a body that has been dead for over a hundred years.

"Dr. Wexler," She said to the doctor. "Hi."

He still didn't turn.

She looked at me but I ignored her. She tried again and just by her posture alone I knew she would succeed. Her head was held a bit higher.

"Dr. Wexler," She called. "I said, hi."

Her voice was still shaken but there was authority in her tone. It mirrored the one I had used with her not too long ago. The human looked up, and it was clear that he was having a very long night. He was holding onto his composure by a thread.

His eyes were on Sookie, but his hands were working feverishly over Heidi who was still very much unconscious. When a vampire was in that state they looked just as dead as they should. Unless he was going to empty his veins in her mouth, there was nothing he could do. Speaking of which, I couldn't image why she wasn't conscious yet.

"Sookie…" He gasped. "Sookie! Good God! I thought…"

Sookie smiled and held her hand out. Without thought the doctor ran to her and pulled her into a hug. Her brow furrowed and she jerked as if startled but she didn't seem to be in pain.

"You're okay?" He asked, looking her over. He didn't seem to have noticed the vampires and the woman on the floor was forgotten. I watched them interact but the conversation was entirely one-sided.

"Sorry," He said, setting her down and kneeling in front of her. "I know you don't like that."

He then did a quick exam, checking her for a fever, bruises, or any other sign of damage. For a full minute there were no words exchanged but their facial expressions flickered like two people having a conversation. I knew they were. What I found strange was he was careful to avoid skin-to-skin contact.

"Fae," Nim whispered. His voice barely carried to my ears. "She is Fae."

That one theory explained everything. The child wasn't 100% Fairy, but that part of her makeup accounted for her gifts. Her mother Michelle must have unknowingly lain with one and conceived a child. If she was wholly human; she wouldn't know that the abnormalities her child showed were normal for her unique genetics. She would have worried and she would have tried to find help.

Apparently, Dr. Wexler was able to measure the Fae attributes in Sookie. In comparison to that of humans she would indeed appear beyond ingenious, and she was. I wondered what it would mean now that she had been receiving daily doses of my blood since the day I made her mine.

The quantity was a droplet, enough to allow myself or any of her brothers to find her and feel if she was in need. Now I wondered what would happen if I gave her more? Would it allow her body to match the brilliance in her mind as she grew. I thought so. It was just a roughly formulated theory. I needed the human doctor to confirm it.

Once we got back to a safe house on the edge of Vegas, I sat down with the Doctor. Dr. Wexler had been given every courtesy and consideration, but fear gripped him still. Needless to say he was proving to be a very smart man, he should be afraid. He was living by the mercy of a toddler who was asleep, quite soundly, in my arms.

* * *

**Closing A/N: **I know I said I wasn't going to be posting multiples but I love you guys so. I know I won't get nearly as many reviews doing it this way (shame on you binge readers:-) I guess it's shame on me too because this is my favorite story to date. I am eager to get it out there to see if you all agree. I love the pace and I want to keep it going as long as it doesn't put pressure on my awesome Beta . If you like the monster updates, thank her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Felipe**

**Chapter 8**

**Undisputed**

The Doctor was watching me but his eyes were on Sookie.

"You want to protect her," I deduced.

He nodded, "I promised Michelle I would help her."

"You loved her," It wasn't a question. I didn't need a reply. The pain on the human's face was answer enough. He had most definitely loved her, but her love was expensive and he hadn't been able to afford it.

"What do you plan on doing with her?" He asked. "I know what Michelle did for work. I won't let that happen to her daughter. Give her to me." Dr. Wexler implored. "I can take care of her. I'll pay for her if I have to."

"I understand that you believe you mean well," I said gently. "But if ever again you make me such an offer, I will have you killed in the slowest, most gruesome manner I can imagine."

I supposed the silence that followed could be described as awkward by some. It wasn't to me, not in the least. Wexler had offered a solution to a presumed problem, I pointed out a major flaw with in his proposal. He would get seriously hurt.

"Do you believe in ghosts?" I asked conversationally.

I had already made the decision that I would be keeping him for Sookie's benefit. Yet I knew that people, especially humans, were more amenable when they were under the illusion of free will. The easiest way to have him comply was to give him what he sought, the truth.

"What?" he asked confused.

"The supernatural or paranormal?" I prompted. "Things that go "bump in the night," as it were. Do you hold stock in them?"

If not for the calm, benign expression I wore, I was sure he would have thought me mad. Such as it was, he sat straighter and leaned in closer. Not for the first time, I applauded the doctor's intelligence. I waited patiently as he contemplated his response. I saw when the probability began to form into something more. The human's eyes went wide and he looked between me and the child in my arms.

"Do you?" I prodded, gently.

There was something in being a vampire that shortened the distance between the eyes and the soul. Presumably, it was what gave us the ability to impose our will onto mortals but it also exposed what we were. If you looked a vampire in the eyes long enough you felt it.

The hairs on the back of your neck began to rise and an inexplicable chill settled over you. That was instinct. The life in those who were living began to notice the lack of life in a vampire. Dr. Wexler was having that reaction in full. He was afraid but the thought of uncovering something beyond his wildest imagination held him fast.

"Absence of evidence is not evidence of absence," He finally said.

I leaned forward and extended my left wrist out to him. He paused but I gently urged him forward. He took hold of my wrist. Years of his work brought his index and middle fingers to rest on my pulse point. He frowned, then positioned and repositioned his fingers. There was no angle that he could try that would give him that for which he was searching. I had no pulse. The seconds ticked by and I watched as his fabric of reality slowly ground to dust.

"I am a vampire and I have been one for 800 years," I said, extending my fangs. "Let me assure you, Dr. Wexler, I have abundant evidence of that fact."

The doctor stared at me, well more to the point; he was staring at my fangs. He seemed too stunned to let go of my wrists. His basis for reality had been shaken so I patiently endured it. I knew when the last shred of reason and science he cloaked himself in fell away. He reclined into his seat and removed his horn rimmed glasses as if they blinded instead of illuminated.

"What about Sookie?" He asked. "And Shelly?"

"Sookie is a Fairy, at least in part. Whether that comes from her maternal or paternal origins, I cannot say with absolute certainty."

"Fairy," He wondered, bemused. "Like Tinkerbelle?"

"I do not know of whom you speak, but I doubt your inference is at all correct. Fairies are your basic supernatural being. From them come elves, brownies, water sprites, green men, angels, demons, and all the natural spirits. They all come from the Fae."

"When you say natural spirits, you mean there were actual creatures that embodied the sky and forest and so on?"

I nodded, "Over time they have become so tightly bound to their domains that they die with deforestation and pollution."

"And your self?" He asked calmly. "Are you descended from Fae too?"

I shook my head easily though he was miles wide off the mark. "All vampires start out as human until they are turned. Fairies are what they are until they die,"

I answered that question as a courtesy but it sated his curiosity. I could see his scientific mind kicking in. He wanted to explain what couldn't be real. That was not the purpose of this conversation. It was Sookie.

"Tell me what you know about my daughter."

"The human brain is the last great frontier," He began. "Humans use a little over ten percent of their brains but that is enough to control everything from autonomic functions, such as breathing, heart rate, to problem solving and libido. With her, parts of the brain that have never been mapped as inactive or unknown in current neurology are off the charts. We're talking a possible brand of evolutionary synaptic pruning."

"She is intelligent," I stated plainly.

He couldn't hide the scandalized expression on his face. "No-no-no-no-no," He said, shaking his head vehemently. "I'm intelligent. Newton, Einstein, Planck, they were geniuses."

I nodded, intrigued by the possibility, "She will be one of them."

Again he shook his head. "If her current pattern of development continues, she will leave them all in her dust by the time she's seven. By the time she's twelve…" He shook his head as if he had no words. "She will make me look like a trained chimp doing tricks for treats." Instead of being disturbed by what he thought was inevitable, he looked intrigued.

"The girl replenishes gray matter the way we…well, healthy humans make white blood cells. It's more than that, with her increased brain function come certain anomalies in her neocortex; the frontal and parietal lobe…"

I was sure he would have fallen into a volume full of scientific jargon but I waved a hand, "I know she can read the minds of humans, and she is able to push her thoughts."

He nodded, "Telepathy is a reflex to her much like breathing. It comes with a kind of shield that protects her mind from the onslaught. Skin to skin contact makes this natural barrier weaker."

He rubbed his unshaven jaw and looked down at her, "I wonder how she is maintaining it with your prolonged contact."

"She cannot read my mind," I said.

He made a noise of interest, "I wonder if that has to with your Sodium-Potassium gate and how or if it generates charges…"

I shot him another look because he was spiraling off topic again. "Right, yes. Well, pushing thoughts takes effort on her part even for us and it weakens her shield especially without cooperation."

This I knew was not the case, "Heidi, the woman with you in the hotel, she was vampire. Not only has she never been around Sookie, she was not in sight and she most certainly did not cooperate with whatever was done to her."

He went still, his expression grim. "That wasn't Sookie," He stately firmly. "Even if she could use her presence in the mind of others to do harm, she wouldn't."

Sai was with the tracker now, while she was conscious she was in shape to tell him what she had experienced.I wondered if he was suffering a delusion or if he was being honest to the best of his ability. Either way, I told him the truth,

"I am entirely sure. I was with her. She heard you and became angry that you had been mistreated."

Whatever else he thought he knew, I wasn't trying to mislead him. Why would I bother when I could force his cooperation? The answer was simple, I wouldn't. His face fell as he accepted the truth.

"This has never happened before, not that I know of, and she tells me everything," He whispered. "When Shelly was killed, where was she?"

Nim had been found her tucked in a little alcove formed by the shrubs that separated her house and the neighboring estate.

"You think trauma manifested the new ability," I deduced.

He nodded, "It is the most probable answer but there is nothing to which I can compare her results. I will never know if her heightened intellect is a byproduct of telepathy or if it's the other way around, nor can I know what role her origins play."

We sat quietly. It seemed likely that Sookie's attack on Heidi was a manifestation of witnessing her mother's death through the mind of her attacker. If she had the ability prior, I had no doubt she would have used it. There would be plenty of time to test her on it later. Turning her into a weapon would be an advantageous goal but she was so much more.

The conversation moved from Sookie to the lessons I'd been giving her. She would have a firm understanding of not only the world of vampires but those of all worlds. The more knowledgeable she was, the stronger she would be. I had been right to push her. Yet, the look on the doctor's face told me I had fallen short. Although he tried, he failed in hiding his thoughts.

"It is not enough?" I asked.

I wasn't insulted. That was, after all, why he was here. Giving Sookie the best foundation upon which her talents could flourish was more important than having another mortal 'Yes man.'

"It's fine," He said hurriedly.

"That word is not acceptable to me," I was asking him never to use it in conjunction with my child ever again. He was a smart man so I knew he wouldn't.

"She cares about you already deeply, I think, especially because your mind is silent to her and you are able to provide her with touch, something her mother was never comfortable doing," He told me, adjusting his glasses. It appeared to be a nervous gesture but I didn't care to read too deeply into it at the moment.

I waited for him to say more and he waited for me to infer the conclusion. I couldn't. Having Sookie care for me was what I wanted. It meant her gift would be readily available for my use. I wasn't sure why it would translate to her not showing me her best.

"Speak freely," I said. "As long you do not endanger me and mine, you are safe to always do so."

He was smart enough to take it as a confidentiality clause with fatal consequences. He spoke immediately.

"You have to understand that Shelly had difficulty dealing with a child of Sookie's caliber. It left Sookie starved for attention. If she cares about someone, she'll perform at the level she believes would make them happy, no less, no more."

I did not hide the doubt in my gaze. It would be beyond useful to have a child that was as vastly gifted as he was suggesting. I didn't want my want of such a thing to cloud my judgment. Sookie had been dealing with advanced concepts. The fact that she was doing less to please me was farfetched, when faced with the rewards she got for showing me her best.

"She has done this with you?" I ask.

He nods. "When I came to assess her it was with games childish and very beneath her but she let me win because she wanted me to like her. It took countless sessions for me to catch on to what she was doing and many others for her to believe that I would like her even if she won. Needless to say, I've been losing ever since. Her mind is limitless. " He shook his head as words failed him. "This little girl can change the world…"

"Or she can rule it." I murmured to myself.

I looked down at my daughter as his words sank in. It was hard to see the image the Dr. painted but not impossible. She was a telepath who could bring a vampire down to their knees without lifting a finger. Yet, she looked just as I presumed all children did while they slept. She had her fingers in her mouth. I had pulled them out when she had fallen asleep, but somehow her index and middle finger were back in her mouth. She sucked on them and snored softly.

Michelle might have provided this child with adequate care but there was no doubt that she loved herself and her status more. Her care had been unacceptable by a wide margin. Fine is not enough; to be the best, Sookie needed the best. I knew something for certain about her. Her destiny was not to be a queen. After all, any tart could wake one day and bestow the title upon herself. No, my child was leaps and bounds beyond such mediocrity. She was going to be 'The Queen.' Already I knew the state she could cut her teeth.

"You will help with her training," I told the doctor. "We will begin tomorrow."

I left Sai to handle integrating the doctor into his new role.

The next night when I rose, it appeared things during the day hadn't gone well. With the lessons I had left for her to complete and the sessions with her doctor, Sookie should have been exhausted. Instead, she was jumping on her bed with her eyes glued to a television that hadn't been there yesterday. If that wasn't enough, she was entirely unsupervised. The doctor was nowhere in sight.

"Dada!" She squealed when she saw me. "Hi!"

She fell on her back then rolled off the bed to come to me. Furious as I was, I still picked her up and kissed her head. There was food on the table to the left. It was clear that she had been left to serve herself. The thought of my blood _serving_ anyone, anything at any time in any place, _Ever_, especially by themselves was too horrific to put into words. Apparently, the good Doctor wanted to die by my hands. That would be the only explanation for this.

"Where is Dr. Wexler?" I asked calmly. "He was supposed to be with you."

"Him go wab," She said.

Nim walked into the room handing me a note. Dr. Wexler had written to inform me that he had much to do and the task couldn't be trusted to any other. He was, indeed, in the lab of a teaching hospital in town. It went on to state:

"She said she didn't have a television and pizza. I gave her both once she was done with her work."

I looked down at her expecting a guilty expression and saw none. "Did you do your work?" I asked my daughter.

She nodded and pointed over to a stack of papers on the floor. There was a circle of books around them. It was as if she had been reading them simultaneously. Curious, I went over. It hadn't even crossed my mind that she could read. She could barely talk when she did, no one understood her.

"You can read?" I said, astounded. "You did not tell me."

She bit her bottom lip and wouldn't meet my eyes. "Don't be mad, _pwease_. _Dada to do it_," She whispered. _"He say so."_

I was still angry, but it was directed inward. The Doctor had been right. I had grievously underestimated her, again. Everything I'd taught her so far had been done with me reading, her listening intently, and her reciting or asking intelligent questions. Not once had she reached for a book on her own. Presumably it was because she thought I enjoyed reading so she let me.

"I'm not angry mija."

"Promise." She said not relenting.

I nodded, "I promise. I swear to you. I am not angry with you."

I threaded my fingers through her hair until she relaxed her hold on me. Then I pulled her away from me so we were eye to eye. "I am not angry but I want you understand that your strengths and weaknesses are mine, and mine are yours. We need to know what they are so we can help each other. Do you understand me?"

After a long minute of absorbing my words she nodded, "Wat you weakness?"

Ordinarily I would be inclined to regard anyone who asked that question a threat. I would then plot disposing of them in a swift and efficient manner. After correcting her grammar I answered her honestly.

"Silver," I told her. "It burns my skin and so does the sun. It can be potentially fatal."

She looked inquisitive, "Is wike peanuts to Gwace."

I didn't hide that I didn't know what she meant. Sookie reached for a pad and scribbled 'overreaction'; a word she had no hope of saying but she knew its spelling and meaning.

I nodded. Her little hand rubbed gentle circles on my cheek. It was the same as I did with her. It was to soothe and to reinforce affection. "No weakness for my dada."

I knew she would try and I knew she would fail but I took her desire as proof that I had her loyalty.

* * *

**Authors Note:** If you have had your fill of Felipe that was his last chapter in this story. With Sookie having no memory there wasn't a better source to offer insight. Her POV is up next!

On another note, this story is moving so fast and I love it! I should have taken the time to implore my readers to review a while back. I haven't so I'm doing it now. There are so many stories out there. There plenty more people searching for a good read by reviews or the amount of favorites the story has. So if you are enjoying the story let it be known. It will help like minded people decide.


	9. Chapter 9

Sookie

Chapter 9

Empty

Present Day, Shreveport, Louisiana

I was so confused. What was worse was this pounding headache in the back of head that wouldn't quit. I wondered if that was why I had heard voices in my head. I opened my eyes and it was as if there had been waves crashing against my mind, crashing against any and everything. I couldn't form my own thoughts much less process them.

All I knew was that it was wrong and then the face of the stranger came into view. I was scared but when he offered his hand, I took it out of sheer desperation. The second I did I was engulfed with silence. I hadn't let of him since. Now we were in his car and he was driving me home.

I was in the car with a stranger. On an instinctual level I knew such a thing was dangerous but what did that mean when everyone was a stranger, even the face in the mirror? I looked down at my hands where I had a death grip on my driver's license. It had my address, my height, and weight, but my only focus was on the name. It read, 'Stackhouse, Sookie'. The image to the left was of my smiling face. She looked happy and confident, nothing like I felt at the moment. I wanted to be her.

I felt pressure in my hand. He felt so different and there was no way to ignore it even if I wanted to, and I didn't want to. His touch was cool but that only made the contact more potent. It was like pitting roaring flames against consuming cold. Neither held sway, instead they collided leaving no room in me for anything but this new profound attachment. It was like falling and flying, similar to a magnetic pull.

I looked up to find that the car had stopped and Eric was looking down at me. "I believe this is it." He said, inclining his head to the right.

With the overhead light on, I caught the full effect of his beauty. It was symmetry done to utter perfection. His strong jaw, the aquiline nose, the set of his blue eyes, and his hair…he had beautiful hair. It was long, and lustrous, fanning down his back providing the perfect backdrop to his striking features.

How had I forgotten someone like him? How could the impact of his allure not force me to remember? Then again I had seen images of the car I had been in. The little yellow hatchback that might have been a useful clunker on its best day now looked like a crushed beer can. The place where I had gone through the windshield was clearly visible. I guess that was my answer enough to how I had known someone like Eric but had forgotten. It explained why I had forgotten everyone and almost everything.

The only reason I had lived through the crash was because of Eric. He had given me blood. He didn't donate it, he fed it to me because, get this? He's a vampire! Yes, I guess they were real and their blood healed. I wasn't sure how I felt about vampires, but he had given me blood instead of taking it. I thought of it like a transfusion. I was grateful. It saved my life. Now there was just a soft whirling noise in the back of my skull and a headache that felt like it began in my brain, which I suppose was the truth.

Eric had also been able to help me figure out that I wasn't crazy. I was a telepath. One of the loudest voices that were in my head was of two people; a man named Gerry and a woman named Donna. Their voices were laced with enough rage to start a war and enough steel to cut. He knew them well and it was how we concluded I was a telepath.

Maybe I had been that way all my life or maybe the journey through the windshield unlocked the ability. It freaked me out but he seemed impressed. He had met a telepath once. His mind was blessedly silent to mine but he was able to talk me through blotting out the avalanche of thoughts. I still refused to let him go, afraid the damn would break, and I would drown.

The only memories I had left were rudimentary. I don't know how they were rudimentary. I knew that I should look both ways before I crossed the street. I knew how to read, but I didn't know my name, my address, my parents' names, or if I even had any. Yes, I knew tons of things, but none were enough to be comforting.

Instead of thinking of things I had no hope of remembering, I tried to focus on the surroundings, hoping they might jog my memory. What I found was a thick blanket of darkness that surrounded us; feeling lost was the least of my problems. This place was isolated, save the little home that was directly ahead. The porch light was on, and I could see the pool from the backdoor from where the car was parked. The image wasn't welcoming but it wasn't frightening either. It just looked like a light fighting its way through the deepest dark.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

I was trying to sound confident but even to my own ears I sounded not only lost but terrified.

"Yes," He replied scanning the night. "I think you may have chosen it for its lack of habitation."

He was right so that meant I'd been able to read minds. Yet, I didn't have to let him go to know that there wasn't a single soul for miles if not tens of miles. If he left me here, I wondered if he would come back to visit. The thought of him not doing so set off fear that was of a different class. It wasn't crippling, it was consuming, a slow and steady pain. He was the only person I knew. I was going to be left in a place far away from another soul. My heart rate spiked into a jack hammering pattern at the thought. I could fight to keep people's thoughts from my mind but I couldn't fight this.

The hold he had on my hand moved to my face and I leaned into it. "It's okay," He told me. "You're okay."

"No it isn't," I argued. This was so far from okay that even if 'Okay' bit me in the ass I wouldn't know it.

"Yes, it is."

I shook my head, "Not even a little."

"Are you calling me a liar?" He asked, his tone firm.

I didn't even think about it, "Of the worst sort."

Those lips of his hitched into a smile that took him from beautiful to dazzling. It made me want to smile and I was sure that if I was in a less-panicked state of mind I would have. His expression did bring my panic down several notches.

"Being home surrounded by familiar things might help," He said.

"You help," I pointed out to Eric. "Can I stay with you instead?"

I didn't think of the depths of my relationship with him before asking. His voice had stood out through the myriad of thoughts. It reached me, grounded me, even as it frightened me. No, I didn't remember but he had still felt familiar. I wouldn't have thought there was a difference but there was none.

Nothing made sense but with his hand in mine I didn't feel so at sea, I didn't feel lost or alone. I guess I was wrong. He looked caught entirely off guard and a little put off by the request. I had just assumed we were close, close enough to crash on his couch for a few nights. It felt like we were more than friends, then again he didn't seem that upset that I didn't remember him.

"You would be comfortable with that?" He asked.

I shot the house and the darkness one more look before returning my eyes to his. My thoughts scattered. Initially I wanted to tell him that his hair framed his face like a halo. I wanted to say I knew he would keep me safe. For some reason I told him a different kind of truth.

"You're the only person I know."

He nodded and opened his door. Before I could reach for mine or miss the sturdy cool of his hand he was already holding my door open. My fingers locked with his as he helped me out of the car. The pang of rejection I felt had been worth it. As my eyes adjusted to the lack of light, I saw nothing but trees. Their weeping branched intertwined, cocooning the path below in pitch darkness.

"What's over there?" I asked, pointing. I tilted my head closer and something seeped into my mind. It was another void, a quiet like Eric's but without the calm. This was a black hole.

He didn't even look in the direction I was pointing as he replied. "A cemetery, and at the other end is Bon Temps sole resident vampire, Bill Compton."

We walked to the front door as thoughts of my vampire neighbor entered my mind. I didn't remember him but I wondered how much he knew about me. I also wondered if he bit. It was a silly question of course he did. Why did he frighten me more than the vampire gliding soundlessly beside me? Surely he had fangs and was just as vampiric as your average undead. Yet, nothing about Eric unsettled me, except his devastating good looks.

Entering the premises took some doing as I had no keys on my person. Of course I couldn't remember if I had a spare around. In the end, I invited Eric in and he forced the door open by crunching the door knob in his hand.

We maneuvered through the house with me at his back. While it was my house, I wasn't the one with night vision and super human faculties. The back door led into a kitchen that looked quaint and well used. It was tidy and homey. I opened the fridge and it was stocked with food. There was milk, eggs, and cheese. I stared at everything and found that I didn't know what my favorite was. Then there were other things like juice, yogurt and even leftovers. There was also a six pack of…

"Is that blood?" I asked. "In a bottle"

I wasn't sure how I felt about it. Eric nodded and led us away.

When Eric moved to the next room I followed, promising myself I would return because I was hungry. It turned out he wasn't any more familiar with the layout of the house than I was. After the kitchen we wondered into in a bed room. It was small and the drawers were bare. It must be a guest room or maybe Eric was wrong. That was a more appealing thought.

Maybe there was a great big house with an even bigger family looking for me. That fantasy was squashed when we entered the next room. I did live here. This bedroom was mine. I wasn't sure but it was just so feminine that I identified with it. There was also a pair of grey sweats and a t-shirt lying over the neatly made bed. They looked like they would fit, at least better than the loaners Eric had given me.

It was my hope that with every corner we turned thereafter, something would jump out at me and my memory would come back. After fifteen minutes of tiptoeing around the house from top to bottom, nothing happened.

"I need to work," Eric said.

I didn't have to be told twice because I didn't want to be here. If the fact that alone wasn't a big enough deterrent, there was the vampire and the handy cemetery that separated us. I couldn't refute the proof that I lived here, alone. I just wished I knew what in holy hell had provoked me to do such a thing.

"I'll grab some things," I half way out the door when the thought struck; his hand wasn't in mine. Not only was I no longer physically unattached to him, walking out of the room meant he would be out of my sight for the first time since I'd awakened. It took everything I had not to throw myself at him again. I forced myself to show some dignity.

The silence of my mind turned to a soft whirling hum. The minds were there just outside the barrier. It was similar to using an umbrella in the rain. It didn't make the rain stop, but it kept me dry. It took effort and increased the pain in my head, but I could do it.

"You're not going to leave without me?" I asked, hesitating.

His head tilted to the side, "Are you always this clingy?"

I thought about it. The only answer I could come up with after a reflective second was a shrug.

"Right," He replied.

He made a grand gesture of taking a seat on the gently worn sofa against the wall. In his all black attire he took the country and homey appearance of the house and redefined it. He folded his long legs under at the knee and proceeded to imitate a statue. Awed by the sight, my mind went blank, and not amnesia empty…I was rather overwhelmed by his splendor. Suddenly I was very conscious of the fact that I was drowning in his clothes. I also looked like I'd been hit by a truck which in my defense was true. His eyes came found mine and one of his perfectly arched brows rose in question.

Right, stupid. "I'll be right back," I said, rushing out of the room. It was more out of a desire to save any modicum of dignity I had left than feeling secure enough to venture anywhere without him.

Not too long after, we were back in Eric's car. The driver's license was now in the pocket of my borrowed sweat shirt. My thumb ran over the glossy surface and it centered me now that I was refusing to cling to Eric's hand. Oh, the urge to reach out and touch him was just right there, but something was different. I looked at the house in the side mirror. I wanted to wonder about all the things that I might not remember that I was forgetting. I wanted to worry that I would have to come back soon, with or without my memory. For now, all I felt was relief as the secluded home and its vampire neighbor faded into the dark.


	10. Chapter 10

**Sookie**

**Chapter 10**

**Future of Past's Present**

Eric helped me get settled, showing me to a room. All the while his phone was in his hands and he was hitting keys to send messages without even looking! As appealing as it was to have him with me. It was painfully clearthat he had about ten other places to.

"I know where the bed is. I can find the bathroom. I'm sure I can take a shower without drowning myself."

I snorted a laugh at my own expense. It was the first thing I learned about myself. Apparently I had no qualms about poking fun at my amnesia. Somehow that made it easier to deal with. I would take a ribbing over being made to feel as if I was broken any day. It was better than feeling sorry for myself.

Eric stopped and gave me a long hard look. "I was trying to be funny," I admitted, feeling my cheeks flame. I hoped to God it was the bump to the head. The possibility that I was always this incredibly graceless all the time was too much bare.

His hands stopped and cupped the left side of my face. Without the barest conscious thought, I leaned into him. Everything in me wanted to get closer to him and I knew that even if I crawled under his skin, I still wouldn't be close enough.

"It was funny."

I rolled my eyes. Now I was insulted, he was just trying to pacify me.

"As evidenced by your smile."

This time he did smile. It did devastating things to his already breathtaking features. "I need to go."

He was the only person I knew. What if he left and the barrier that kept out the avalanche of minds and emotions crashed? The memory of being buried under thoughts that ranged from the incisive, mundane, and to the vile was rousing panic deeply within me. I fought it. I had no idea where the strength came from or where it had been but it won over my panic and insecurity. I covered his hand with mine, and then guided it from my face.

"I will send someone to bring you food."

Food; I had totally forgotten about it. Between wrestling the voices in my head and the shock over my empty memory bank, eating hadn't entered my mind.

"Who?" I wondered aloud. At this point I needed to keep a log of people I should know and total strangers because right now they were all the same.

"No one you know," He said with a grin.

"That was in poor taste," I chided. It didn't change the fact that I still thought it was funny.

I was able to take a bath without drowning myself. Thank God for small victories. I sat in the heat of the water and allowed my mind to roam. When the bath ran cold, I was forced to the bed that seemed too small and also too cold. It made no sense because I could see that it was neither of those things. It was all in my mind.

This place wasn't as secluded as the farmhouse but I knew that it wasn't home. I didn't know what home would feel like but I knew it wasn't here, even with the covers pulled to my chin. I wasn't afraid. I felt lonely. I missed Eric. An hour later it turned into a vibrant ache in my blood that heated my body. I wanted to cry. I also wanted him possess me in the way that only a man could.

I ached but he was gone and I had no phone number. After a few hours, I had moved past missing him. Idly I wondered if I ever knew him. My priority shouldn't be wondering about my affiliation with a man who didn't call and it shouldn't be about sex. It should be about me. I should be trying to gather clues. The more I could garner from my surroundings, the less I would have to piece together. It took a few more hours but soon exhaustion set in, cutting me off, and I was dead to world.

I woke the next day and there was food, but no Eric. I wondered if it was because he was a vampire or because he was busy. I moved throughout his house and found food as he promised. There was a little bit of everything. I ate and dressed but that only took the better part of an hour. I was left with nothing to do. I took a chance to really look at the house. It was brightly decorated. The walls in the living room were deep shades of blues and there were paintings all throughout the house. All spoke of a different place and time but fit in well with the rooms they adorned. I explored without snooping. I fiddled with the television.

That was how I filled my time the first day. The next day was the same. I didn't see Eric or the mysterious person that refilled whatever I had eaten. My telepathy told me I was alone in the house during the day. I waited up at night but I was still very much alone. Obviously Eric was avoiding me and this was just some sense of obligation that had forced him to let me cramp his style. Being in his house made the hunger I felt for him gnaw on deeper levels. I might not know the person I really was but the part of me that was left knew I couldn't be here. It was me, my self, and my driver's license, none of which could shed light on my past.

"I shouldn't have come," I muttered.

When Eric had taken me to the little house in the middle of nowhere, fear had refused to let me stay. I didn't want to be alone. Sitting here, I found that the only thing worse than fear of being alone was a cage. In addition to being amnesiac I felt like I was going stir crazy, just sitting and waiting for tall, blonde, and dead.

Every breath I took since Eric left seemed to just sustain things but it was barely enough. I was safe but not the least bit comfortable. Saying I just wanted him didn't seem like enough. I swear I could feel him in my blood and smell him on my skin. It was a deep, patrician fragrance, and at the heart of it all, were wisps of a blooming moon flower. All of that was what I was holding onto and I had to let it go. Eric might have been my hero but I didn't want to be a damsel, not anymore.

Packing didn't take long. I had righteously marched to the front door when I realized I had no way to get back to my little farmhouse. It was possible that I knew how to drive a car but I didn't have one. I also didn't want to risk it. Okay, I had to find someone else that I knew. That shouldn't be too hard. I sat on the floor beside the front door and tried to think. I was desperate for the slightest twinge of memory. It didn't come. Forcing the issues brought that constant headache in the back of my skull closer to the forefront. I gave up on the endeavor.

I was set to give up when I recalled something. It wasn't from before the accident. I'd been packing to leave with Eric. I had been in a rush but I recalled looking at a t-shirt with a logo on it. It was plain and well worn. I didn't pack it but I remembered it; Merlotte's Bar and Grill. That was as good a place to start as any. Thankfully Eric had a phonebook and a phone. It took a few tries but I finally I reached the right place.

"Merlotte's," a harried female voice greeted. "What can I do ya for?"

"Um…ah…" the desire to sound sure and confident warred against need. Need won. "I'm Sookie Stackhouse. Do you know me?"

"I want to go on record and say that you should be going to a hospital."

Sam stared at me as if I was a difficult puzzle. It immediately made me self-conscious. Reflexively, I fortified my mental shields.

"Are you still a telepath?" he asked.

His tone makes me brought my response down to a whisper. I felt as if we are talking about something secret and dangerous.

I nodded, "Yes, are you?"

He shook his head, "No, I never was but I guess you don't remember what I am?"

I wracked my brain. It didn't take long but there just wasn't that much information to wade through. I shook my head.

He hesitated and I knew he was thinking about not telling me something about him that I already knew. I couldn't remember what it was but I still wanted to know. I wanted to know about him because he knew about me. I might have to recreate my past entirely and this could help.

"You can tell me," I said.

"I know. I just don't want to freak you out. You took it well the first time and that might not happen again."

I sat tall and gave him the most confident look I could muster, "Tell me."

He didn't tell me anything. He showed me. I watched as the sandy-haired, fuzzy-headed man morphed into a tiny pup. My breath caught as the reality of it registered. I was waiting for said freak out but it never came. Instead my face stretched into an adoring smile. I was a dog person, it seemed.

As if he wasn't cute enough, Sam the puppy was scuffling his way out of a pile of clothes belonging to a grown man and was attempting to drag them into the bathroom. I got the hint and helped. Moments later he was back in the kitchen with me, human and dressed. All of a sudden, I didn't feel as lost. It made me feel better to not be the only different one. Eric was a vampire, Sam turned into a puppy, and next to them a telepath wasn't nearly as interesting.

"You make a cute puppy," I said, meaning every word.

He rolled his eyes but I didn't miss the undertone of relief. "I guess you're just good with weird."

Sam didn't have to tell me that this was just as much of secret as was my telepathy. I could hear it in his tone.

I looked at the man beside me. His sandy hair had streaks of red that when caught in the sun made him look like he was wearing a heated halo. His eyes held no mystery; neither in their color or intent. It unsettled me when he hugged me after he revealed his secret. It bothered me more that his mind was fogged.

He also asked me a dozens of questions and all my answers were the same, 'I don't know,' or 'I don't remember.' He gave up trying to get information and started sharing it. While I had been hiding, he and many others thought I was dead. That explained why it had taken a full five minutes to get the woman who answered the phone to stop asking questions, and then another five to get her to stop crying.

I almost left without leaving a note but I couldn't, not with all the help Eric had given me. It thanked him and told him I was going home.

Once we arrived at the farmhouse, I had to admit to my self that in the light of day it exuded a charm that I had been too blinded or too frightened to see two nights ago. The grounds weren't perfectly kept. That only added to its' natural and overall charm. The lawn wasn't a sprawling green field. Instead there were sections of green, splotches of dirt, and random debris. At some point, someone had sectioned out a portion for flowers but that time was long gone.

The driveway would make a great obstacle course. It had potholes the size of which should deter any and all visitors but Sam navigated it as if he was familiar with the pitted road. All I could think was I hadn't felt anything at all the night Eric had driven us here. The engine died and I continued to stare out at the house. The first night I hadn't felt or thought of anything remotely positive; everything from the trees to the porch had seemed so sinister.

Instead of it appearing dastardly, it looked interesting. I felt silly now, thinking of the terror I'd felt. In the light of day, the thicket of trees felt like they would enhance, not suffocate. Green and shades of brown with bursts of colors were all I could see. The paint on the house wasn't beaten but it was showing its years. Overall the house looked like an old woman who had maintained the vestige of her youthful splendor. It made me smile.

The charm I saw on the outside saturated the interior. I walked through the house again. I even explored the attic upstairs. It wasn't much, just an unfinished space on the left and a locked attic on the right. As I went around, I lifted the shades bathing everything in sunlight. It might have been a little too cold but I also opened a few windows along the way. It decreased the feeling in my chest that told me I didn't belong in this quaint little house. I did belong; if not because I wanted to then because I had to.

After my tour, I found Sam in the kitchen. He had set a table to for two. When I saw the offerings, my stomach rumbled reminding me that I hadn't eaten yet. Sam heard. He didn't say anything but he wasn't fast enough to hide the worried look on his face.

"What's with the face?" I found myself asking.

After schooling his features he turned to face me. "What face?" He said. "Sorry to disappoint but this is what I look like."

I snorted but it was more of a derisive chuckle. Maybe he thought that I had lost any ability to detect bullshit along with my memory.

He furrowed his brow as he replied, "I'm worried about what happened to you, not with the car accident, but after. You smell like vampire. That alone…"

"Oh," was all I had to say. "He was nice."

"He, who?"

"Eric."

Anxiety crashed onto the scene as if it were waves on the shore. "Eric Northman?" He asked.

I shrugged. I didn't know his last name but Northman suited him. Simple, but not weak; short, but not terse nor cold. I had no idea why those thoughts even entered my mind. What did I know about names and the people that bore them? I just learned mine and, if not for the plastic card in my pocket I wouldn't even have that. Still, there was no denying that the name 'Eric Northman' rolled off the tongue no matter who or his name was spoken.

"Is he blonde?" Sam inquired.

I nodded. Eric was definitely that but he was also tall and handsome. He had also made me feel as if I the only important thing in the world when he was around, that is. It wasn't so much the lack of attention or impermeable silence of his house that propelled me to leave. I was infringing on his space, time, and generosity. It made me want to defend him.

"He drove me here," I said. "But I didn't want to stay."

He didn't look convinced but let the conversation drop. We ate in silence that was more or less comfortable. We weren't yet finished when I heard a car scaling the obstacle course that was my drive way.

"It's Terry," Sam announced. I didn't ask how he knew and he didn't explain. Instead he went on to tell me things that I should already know but don't remember.

"He went into the Army but he's never been the same since. He's been taking care of your lawn and odd jobs around the house."

"It looks good," I replied sincerely.

Sam smiled in encouragement, "Tell him that. He's taking you getting hurt harder than most."


	11. Chapter 11

**Sookie**

**Chapter 11**

**Back To Basics**

Happy to have the focus on someone else, I eagerly opened the door for Terry. He was tall but not overly so. If Sam was a cute puppy then he was a bear, with a full beard and shaggy hair. Even as he stood there, I could feel his shyness radiating. In one arm he had a paper bag full of groceries. In the other he had a black cat in a crate.

"Dawn said your head doesn't work so well anymore," He said in hello. "I brought things I've seen you eat," He stated and offered me the bag. There was a deep, painful understanding to the way he spoke those words making it impossible for me to feel awkward.

"Thank you," I told him as I graciously accepted the food and his thoughtfulness.

I took the bag and held it against my chest. It may seem silly but I was desperate to gather things that might help me piece my personality and my life back together.

"This is your cat, Tina."

I looked down at the crate with feelings of pain and guilt. I had forgotten her too. She had choppy fur that made her look spunky even with her teeny frame. If not for Terry, she might have starved or worse. If I had remembered her, I might not have been afraid of being alone.

"Nice hunting," Sam said, coming over. "Dawn came by to check on you when you didn't show for your shift and this one," He inclined his head at crate. "Bolted as if her tail was on fire"

"Poor thing was probably scared," I defended. I set the bag down and took the crate. That was when I noticed Terry was sporting a claw mark that had just missed his right eye. Small as they were, they had to be from the cat in the room.

"I'm so sorry you were hurt, but thank you for bringing her back."

"S'okay. Like you said, she was scared and I cornered her. She didn't mean it."

Taking the cat out of her crate I held her while Terry put groceries away. Sam made him a sandwich too. The visit soon turned into a party. At least ten other people arrived. Sam offered to get rid of them for me but I didn't mind. Well, aside from wishing that the waitress who had answered my phone call hadn't been recounting the entire conversation for the town.

It couldn't be more obvious that they all thought I was a fragile doll. I leaned forward and the room full of people moved with me. It should have been reassuring. I might not recall much about my life but I knew not many people had others who cared this much about them. For their sake, I sat still and made no sudden movements. The voices in my head were coming slower and louder but I forced myself to see past them for the people that were a part of my life. I simply catalogued them.

Arlene had very loud hair. It was a violent shade of red. It was unnatural and she was pale. She had two children, a boy and a girl. They were cute, but loud. They stared but they thought I was the best babysitter ever. I wished I could remember their names and I didn't want to ask. Hoyt Fortenberry had kind eyes. He thought I was cute and wished his mother would leave me alone. That made two of us.

Maxine Fortenberry was a stout older woman who prided herself on being the town gossip. When that became a source of pride, I couldn't tell you. She was oozing morbid delight with every question she asked me that I couldn't answer. She also didn't think much of me but I didn't know why. Sam asked for a hand in the kitchen. That was where she remained. I didn't like her now and I just knew that I had barely tolerated her when I was in my right mind.

Tara Thornton was nice. She was married to JB. They had twins. I had also babysat for them. It didn't seem to be the same as what I did for Arlene. Tara and I were closer. That was what the pictures and stories suggested.

The harder ones to look at were us at her wedding, her baby shower, and the birth of her children. I was there smiling but I couldn't remember. It was frustrating for me but I knew it was sad for her. It wasn't either of our faults but it only made me feel worse. I guess this was the problem with reading minds. You knew all the things that people didn't want you to know, no matter how badly you didn't want it.

After a while the errant seepage of outside thoughts into my own became more frequent. Excusing myself I left the living room. It should have been obvious to me that someone would have followed me. Sam and Tara trailed by Tina, the cat.

"Shit!" Tara said. There was panic in her tone and it was clear on her features. I didn't know my nose was bleeding until I saw myself from her mind. I looked pale and sweat was dotting my brow. Sam was there with a dish towel. He helped me into a chair and tilted my head back.

"I'll tell everyone to clear out. I can…" I knew what she was going to offer to stay but on the other side of that thought was her children and husband. I felt Terry's anxiety at the crowd. I felt Hoyt's relief that his mother was gone.

"It's okay," I said with my head facing the ceiling.

Sam's mental fuzziness was managing to penetrate the barrier that had been keeping me sane. He was beating himself up because he had taken me home and not to the hospital. I also knew that there was no escaping it now.

"I'll get her to a doctor even if it kills her," He promised.

I snorted derisively which unsurprisingly did nothing to help the pain. "I'll call," Tara said. She came to lean over me cutting off my view to the ceiling. "I'm glad you're okay."

I didn't argue but I felt anything but. There was a cool wash cloth on my head and it felt like a balm that soaked into my skull. I closed my eyes and took the peace for what it was.

Sam made good on his promise. I was at the emergency room in Monroe less than an hour later. Two hours after that I was seated on an exam table in a tissue paper gown. I think doctors took a class that told them how to make people feel the most vulnerable. I was cold in the sterilized room despite the warmth outside. There was a knock on the door, a pause, and then a middle- aged woman entered.

Her chin length hair looked rust with wisps of gray. When faced with such a natural redhead I couldn't help but think of how off the color of Arlene's hair really was. I've been playing a game with myself since the first night at my own house. I took what I was learning about myself, the people, the things around me, and trying to connect them with things I knew, few as they were. I stared at the woman. The sight of her white lab coat brought the word, 'Doctor,' into my mind.

"Ms. Stackhouse," She greeted. "I am Dr. McIntire."

Oh, brother. If the overly slow pace of her speech wasn't enough, she was looking at me in the way one approached a wounded animal. I wanted to get angry but what good would it do but add to the unstable persona of me that she had already taken.

"Hello, Dr. McIntire." I replied. I intentionally made my voice just as slow so she could hear how ridiculous she sounded. "I'm sorry," I say. "That was rude."

"No," she replied, coming to sit in front of me. "You have been through a particularly traumatic event. It is understandable. I will do my best to get you some answers."

What she meant was that I was going to get poked, prodded, drained and subjected to every exam known to man. Finally I was back with the doctor. She looked as tired as I felt.

"I don't have the full results yet but nothing in the initial work up can explain the amnesia or the nose bleed or headaches," She told me. "So that's good. I've already sent a referral to a specialist. His name is Dr. Wexler. He visits at this hospital and does excellent work. In the meantime take this."

She gave me a note book that was more like a journal but the loose leafs were dated. "It will help you keep better track of what's missing," She explained. The other thing she had for me was a prescription to treat my headaches.

"Are you ready to admit that that was a waste of time?" I asked Sam on the ride back.

"Not from where I'm sitting. At least you know what isn't wrong."

I roll my eyes, long and hard, "Oh, joy."

He laughed, "Well you sound like you, sarcasm and all."

Those simple words made me feel better about my prognosis than hours at the hospital. At some point after having an early dinner, going through my collection of romance novels and watching television I fell asleep. When I woke up my body was wrought with tension, anticipation and desire.

I felt hot, feverish even. Eric had dominated the dreams I'd had and in those dreams, he had dominated me. There was nothing comforting about the way he held and touched me. It was so vivid; filled with blazing heat, consuming desire and pleasure I didn't know was possible. My mind was still reeling from the memory of his hands, his lips, his tongue on me everywhere, the lighting flames and the way we'd both burned.

I knew I should be focusing on other things but that vampire was on my mind. I hadn't heard from him since I left. We weren't close as I'd thought, I guessed. Most likely, he had done his good deed and was glad to have me out of his hair. I was grateful and I didn't regret leaving. I just wanted, almost needed, a part of him; the feel of his hands, his scent of his skin, just to stare into those baby blue eyes… I didn't have any of that and these dreams were only making it worse.

My pity party was interrupted by a knock on the door. The void of my visitor rapped against my mind as if it was a telepathic knock. I opened it expecting Eric.

"Oh," I said, trying to hide my disappointment. "Hi."

He sounded like Eric. Physically he was the polar opposite, with exception of being handsome though he was far cry from homely. Eric's appeal hit you like a ton of bricks. Bill was cute. His allure was subtle and comfortable. He exuded gallantry, civility, and politeness. I was so happy to know who this was that I don't give him a chance to introduce or perhaps reintroduce himself.

"We're neighbors. You live over there." I said, pointing across the cemetery. "Hi! I'm Sookie."

I stuck my hand out and laughed for no good reason. He didn't shake my hand. It was probably because we had met before and I was acting like a loon. For the smallest part of a second he looked confused but he schooled his features leaving me to wonder if I had only imagined it.

"Sorry," I told him.

Before I could take my hand back, he shook it. "You are the sort of person who is worth meeting twice for the first time."

"Thank you," I said.

"I heard that you were fine but couldn't come to call on you until tonight," He said. "How do you feel?"

"Disjointed, but good."

"I am happy to hear that."

I smile not sure what to do now. It must have shown on my face because Bill put me out of my misery. "Typically you do not work on Tuesdays. We go over American History textbooks for the Parish school. They are looking to write their own books because they cannot attain funding for new ones. Ours will be historically accurate and cost effective."

If it was possible, my day just got better. I didn't know anything about history but I knew he did. At this point, anything that took my mind off me and me wanting Eric was a good thing. I opened my door wider but Bill didn't move.

"It appears I require another invitation." he said. "You not being yourself nullify my previous invite although the home is the same. I do not think I have ever heard of such a thing."

"Oh, I'm sorry," I said, stepping aside. "Please, come in."

"Can I get you a drink…wait no. I was offering to get eaten…"

He smiled politely and ignored the fact that my face was now beet red. "Unless you have taken to drinking them yourself I believe you still have some bloods in the fridge from last week."

"Oh, right. Yes."

I found the six pack of TruBloods in the back of my fridge. I warmed one for Bill but he just kind of held it within sniffing distance. Seriously, it was almost up his nose at one point. He nursed the beverage while I did my best not to stare. I wondered if I had heated it wrong and he was choking it down to be polite.

When we started working, it was easy to ignore. I was engrossed in it. What I read came to life as Bill explained it in detail. It didn't get much better than this, he had been there! He must have enjoyed recanting the tales because he finally stopped clutching his bottle of blood. Midnight came Bill rose to take his leave.

"It is late," He said. "I will call on you next week at the same time but if you need anything…"

"You're across the cemetery," I concluded, pointing. I was still overly pleased with myself for knowing this one thing.

He smiled and nodded. "Thanks for coming by and not treating me like a baby. I appreciate it."

"You are welcome Sookie. Goodnight."

Bill left but instead of going in I sat on the porch watching clouds dance across the full moon. Eventually Tina came slinking out of the night and she curled up next to me.

"I wish you could talk," I said, scratching behind her ear. She purred and leaned into my finger. "I bet you would know me better than anyone."

She meowed softly as if she understood but it was probably because I had stopped scratching her.

"Tomorrow will be better." I told her as we went inside. One thing was for sure I couldn't continue sitting idly by as if that would somehow restore the memories I'd lost.

I went back to work the next day. The idea had been one born of frustration but as I dressed, it felt familiar. The walk was long but I didn't mind. The instinct to take the back door, it all felt right. It was more certainty than I'd had since leaving Eric's. The hallway that led from the employee area to the main bar was short but it felt like longer than the walk here. I walked it because it was better than going back home to a headache and a bossy kitty cat, not to mention thoughts and erotic dreams of a vampire that had probably forgotten about me.

"What are you doing here?" Sam asked, appearing in front of me. "You are supposed to be taking time off."

The last thing I needed was more time off. I was only feeling further and further removed from the world. Also, I found the longer I went without being around people and the chatter of minds, the harder it became to cope with when I was exposed to them.

"I work here," I replied.

"Not yet you don't," He insisted.

"I'm not leaving," I said plainly.

He stared at me and I stared right back. I wasn't backing down on this. I appreciated his concern but it wasn't doing any good. What if my memories never returned? Was I supposed to spend the rest of my life living like a woman child? I refused.

"I need the money," I added.

I needed a new car and I didn't even know what bills I had but I knew I had to pay them. I had to feed myself and Tina.

Uncertainty flashed across his face. "If I can't deal, I'll leave. I promise."

"Stubborn as a damn cow in the morning," He muttered but he removed himself from my path and threw me an apron.

You could have heard a pin drop when the patrons saw me. I was willing them to ignore the obvious weirdness and, after a while, they all did. Taking orders, serving food, and making small talk came to me without effort. I liked working. I was good at it. By the end of the night I had learned a few things about myself that wouldn't have come to light if I hadn't gone to work. I could use both hands with equal dexterity. I was great at Jeopardy and I was a people person, if I could keep them out of my head. I jotted all of it in the note book the doctor had given me. I went to bed that night with my feet aching and a smile on my face.


	12. Chapter 12

**Sookie**

**Chapter 12**

**Body over Mind**

I woke up again in the middle of another dream feeling like I was being watched. It wasn't as raunchy as the ones I'd been having about Eric but he was the leading man. This time there wasn't some hidden meadow or cloud of pillows. He wasn't in tights or feeding me chocolates. He was in my room, seated at the foot of my bed. Yet, somehow this imagery was more devastatingly handsome. His hair looked windblown, tousled even. He was in black jeans that would drive a saint to sin and a plain t-shirt that didn't look so plain.

My breath caught. He was a stranger and even if he wasn't we didn't have that kind of relationship prior to this. He probably got this seven days a week and twice on Sundays, women throwing themselves at him. He was just so beautiful and I wanted him so bad. With him being this close, that task I had set for myself, to rebuild without his influence, seemed so unjustly punitive that it seemed like a form of cruel and unusual punishment.

"Hi," I said, pulling myself into a sitting position.

The thin sheet that I was covered in slid down my body, exposing the low neck of my flimsy night gown. The feel of the sheets falling alone made my body heat and moisten. It occurred to me much too late that I should be ashamed for wanting to throw myself at him. True as that might be, it did nothing to dampen down my hunger.

Eric shrank back. For some reason it reminded me of Bill and the proximity at which he had held his bottle of blood. It didn't make me angry. It hurt my feelings. I guess it was me and not the blood. You would be inclined to believe that I washed my hair in garlic and used ultraviolet lotion.

Vampires found me unappealing. It was more than unappealing, it was disgusting. I should be glad of it. I still wasn't entirely sure how I felt about fangs but I did know I didn't want Eric to be adverse to me.

"Do us both a good deed, stay where you are," He said.

I lay back down and rolled over after giving my poor pillow a few good punches for no good reason. I was frustrated, sexually, and it was centered on this vampire that I wanted, was angry with, but didn't know. What the hell was his issue anyway, walking into my bedroom?

I was lying on my side with my legs pressed together to alleviate the mounting pressure between them. My arms were folded across my chest to hide my obvious excitement. Nothing was working. Heat was suffusing my veins and my blood felt like it was thicker, trudging slowly through my veins.

Eric made a noise from the back of his throat. It sent shivers down my spine and my nipples were now pebbled to the point of pain.

"Stop squirming," He growled.

That was it! It was one thing that I wasn't his type. I could deal with that. What I wasn't going to tolerate was having him boss me around in my own house. I kicked off the sheets and in one fluid movement I shot to my feet.

"I'm sorry, but is this not my house?" I snapped.

I was sure my ranting would have turned into shouting but the look of failing restraint gave me reason to pause. Eric's eyes honed in on my body. His nostrils flared and his jaw clenched. The ropes of muscles that lined his sculpted physique became more defined. My response to his sudden change should have been fear but my body only burned hotter. Unable to help myself I took a step forward.

"Rescind my invitation into your home, now."

"My house," I reminded him breathlessly "So stop telling me what to do,"

He began backing away slowly. His steps were deliberate, inaudible as if I was the predator and he didn't want to rile me further. The idea alone was laughable but laughing was the last thing I felt like doing. I followed him until he had no place to go, until his back was against my dresser.

I was close enough to breathe in his scent, the one that made me feel as if everything was safe and right when everything else had been so wrong. The scent of comfort was still there under the cloud of yearning and smoldering ache of deprivation. If I was the only one who was feeling it then it was enough for the both of us. The proof of his desire was more than evident. I glanced at the ridged shaft and it took my want, turning it into the strongest hunger.

"You don't want to do this," He told me.

I stopped where I was, but I didn't back up either, "How do you know?"

He nodded but by the tail end of the gesture was shaking his head, so confused, so beautiful. "I don't really…but its..."

I pulled off my nighty, his words died, and his mouth hung open. "I want to…"

I slowly reached my hand out and toyed with the hem of his shirt, just letting my fingers brush lightly against his side. He shuddered against my touch. The moan he let escape was one of equal parts defeat, relief and delight. For him the struggle was over; for me it had never been. I wanted him. He looked down at me with a smile I would never forget, and then he cupped my face and kissed me.

His touch and smile alone were beyond electrifying but when his lips touched mine, I went from aggressor to prey. His kiss ignited sparks in my blood and intoxicated my brain. Something in his heady flavor and skill told me I had more man than I could handle but I was going to take my chances.

In some far-off part of my awareness, I heard things crash and fall. I might have even heard them break but who cared? I was now beyond earth. Eric lifted me as if I weighed nothing at all and sat me on the now cleared dresser. Our kiss engulfed me, drowned me and I didn't slow at all. I needed to feel his skin under my fingertips. I tugged at his shirt, finally freed him of it, and everything else soon followed.

My breasts felt heavy and I thrust them up for his attentions. He didn't make me wait. He cupped the generous mounds and we both moaned.

"Perfect," He whispered against my ear. "So fucking perfect."

His lips kissed a burning trail down my neck and I threw my head back against the mirror to allow him better access. When he sucked my nipple into his mouth while strumming the other I was in heaven and hell. He was everywhere, taking over everything, and it was what I wanted but it still wasn't enough. I parted my legs and cried out as his finger invaded my sheath. I felt the pressure but no pain. I knew he would hurt me when he finally entered me but I didn't care.

His hands were gripping my hips sliding my slippery wet center against his engorged cock, teasing me, torturing me. I whimpered and arched in desperation. I wanted him in me. I wanted it more than I had ever wanted anything. My legs were crossed around his waist and my fingers were in his hair as I urged him closer.

"Please?" I begged.

"You never have to beg me," Eric whispered. "Not for this."

I felt him at my entrance. He pushed into me and I knew when he could go no further without hindrance. His body quaked with the effort it took not to simply drive himself further into me.

"It will hurt but only for a moment I promise."

I nodded. I was halfway out of my mind with desire. I didn't care about anything at that moment. "I don't mind if you hurt me back," He said. "In fact, I encourage it."

He leaned his body even closer until his chest was pressed against mine. My hands were no longer on his arms; they were wound under them and braced against his back. I felt him push in further. It wasn't yet unbearable, though I knew it would be soon so I readied my self but he was in no hurry.

Eric pulled up and looked at me. I was expecting to see a smile, be it smug or otherwise, but there was none. Every muscle in his body was taut with his effort of holding steady. He brushed his lips against mine.

"You're beautiful," He said as if it was just a fact of life. He then kissed me as though his very life depended on it, as if the whole damn world depended on the thoroughness with which he kissed me. All my dreams had been nothing compared to the reality. Eric tasted me fully, slowly, allowing his tongue to explore my mouth thoroughly.

Heaven help me. He tasted like sin. His tongue felt so good battling with mine. Again I found myself helpless against the onslaught. Our kiss was burning through me as he began to invade me at a deliciously slow pace. As careful as he was there was still pain. His lips muffled my mewls and I dug my nails into him when the passion and pleasure began to overpower everything. I forgot about me, about him as I was consumed by something more, us...

With every push and pull of his rock hard length I felt my body relinquish more control. I reached a point where I was quivering in anticipation of his hitting home. When he did, it took all I had not to scream. The image of his body laboring over mine, the feel of him stretching me further, the sound of skin slapping skin, my moans, his groans, our bodies moving in tune, oh! It was all too much. It pulled me to a peak so high I thought I would never again touch the ground.

The orgasm I experienced left me limp and near delirious. Biting into Eric's chest had felt almost natural. It was also to keep from screaming as I knew I would. When I bit him, I felt as his hands tightened on my thighs and he uttered something like an expletive in another language. His pace increased as did the motion he set.

"Bite again and I'll bite you back," He murmured.

It was a dare and I took it. I would fare worse in the morning for it but in the moment, I relished the feel, the excess. I wanted to glut myself. I wanted him to give me all I could handle and more. I fisted my hand in his hair, pulled, and nipped at him again.

There was a low guttural sound that preceded the loss of his body in mine. Whatever ounce of control he had remaining shattered. I experienced how much he had been restraining. I was suddenly lying flat on my back, my legs on his shoulders as he vigorously pounded into me. My back arched to take him more deeply.

My screams echoed off the walls and my untried channel creamed for him despite the pain. It was all I could do to hold on. He tilted my hips and I felt him hit deeper. My eyes were shut; my head was thrown back, my fingers were clutching at him desperately, for anything! I was doing anything to keep from losing my mind entirely.

"Yess…Eric!"

That broken shattered sob didn't belong to me. It couldn't have…then again, I knew it truly did. A tidal wave of hot searing pleasure tore from the pit of my stomach and I was unable to fight it as it ripped through me. Eric nuzzled my neck, flicking it with his tongue. A deep growl emanating from his chest told me he was relishing the taste. He wanted to bite. I tilted my head to the side giving permission. I braced for the sting or pain but it didn't come. He kissed my neck as his fingers went between us and whole world fragmented into burning shards of colors, lights and emotion.

I had nothing to muffle my scream when he bit and I didn't even care to try. He buried himself in me to the hilt, filling me to the point of pain and I came again as I felt him shudder violently. No words could describe what I just experienced. I knew that this was an experience like no other and there would never be any comparison. In short my fantasies had nothing on him.


	13. Chapter 13

**Eric**

**Chapter 13**

**To Have But Not Own**

Sookie had her head nestled on my chest. My fingers were drawing errant patterns on her arms and across her shoulders. I couldn't remember the last time I felt this content. Then again, I also couldn't remember the last time sex felt as good. It was because I was with her. It was both reassuring and distressing.

Pam had found a phone during the cleanup of the drainer's trailer. It held storage sites of their supply and contact information of other dealers. More disturbing was the discovery of the names and contact information of vampire hunters. Some of them were human; the others were two-natured. There were even two vampires in the mix.

Thalia and I had gone on the hunt personally. Pam offered the information to the sheriffs of the Areas outside our jurisdiction. I did all of these motions automatically, with nothing but thoughts of Sookie on my mind and her emotions running through my blood.

Of all her emotions, naturally the most distracting was lust. It wasn't uncommon for a human to experience a spike in sexual urges from the ingestion of vampire blood. Hers just seemed to soak more deeply into my consciousness.

During the hours when I knew she was asleep and dreaming, her desire was there as though it was caressing the center of my mind. Mating was confusing and unsettling! I knew what she meant to me. I knew what I wanted with her, though not having the time for it didn't make it matter any less. If I hadn't been on the road with Thalia I would have suffered worse injuries on the hunt, distracted as I was.

I hadn't actually returned to my house since I left her there. When I came back, I went to her immediately. I had gone home expecting her but I found a note instead. My first reaction was anxiety. That soon turned to anger. It turned back to anxiety when I realized I couldn't bring her into my focus. There was more than enough of my blood in her system that her presence should have been bright but instead it was dull. Anxiety turned into blind panic and that was what called Pam to my side.

"She went home," Pam said.

"I can't feel her,"

"It is because you barely have a hold on yourself," She pointed out. "She went home."

I made a beeline for Sookie's house. The same house that she had left in favor of mine was now appealing. Did she remember or was there a man… Rage brought me to a hard landing in front of her house. Scaling the side of the house, I found an open attic window and entered through there. It wasn't until I saw her sleeping alone that I realized I had come to her home to kill the fantasy lover that my jealousy had conjured.

I was angry with her for so many reasons, most of which were beyond illogical. It faded as the seconds. As I watched her sleep, I was suddenly overcome with everything. Then she awakened only to share with me a taste of heaven. Being inside her, with her breath on my neck, her nails scoring my back…I stopped the thought. The relief it offered wouldn't last if I didn't.

"I need to go," I said.

She eased off of me and watched wordlessly as I dressed, "Your new car and cell phone will be here tomorrow morning."

It shouldn't have taken this long but insurance and registration information were a bit more difficult to falsify than police reports. As far as anyone knew, she never owned that yellow car so she had never been in an accident.

"Here," I said, holding my credit card out to her.

When she didn't take it I turned to see if she had fallen asleep. Far from it; I was faced with a fury, and from the expression on her beautiful face, it was livid bordering on deadly. I stared at her because the emotion affected the color of her eyes giving them an almost mercurial shimmer. When I'd been inside riding her tight supple body into ecstasy, her eyes had been dark, hooded with passion. Now they were the same as her normal illustrious blues with a hint of something else. I couldn't think of any mix that might create such perfection. I should have noticed the shift in her emotion but I'd been making a conscious effort to ignore them so as to force myself to leave her. "I had sex with you because I wanted to, not because I want a car or your credit card. So shove the card where the sun don't shine and when the car gets here you can drive it off a cliff!"

Shocked! I was shocked! This was not a frequent occurrence. Things that my previous lovers had hoped for, Sookie had. She had everything the minute I realized what she was to me. Being away from her had been hell; coming to find her gone had been far worse. I still had a million other things to accomplish. Most were routine, others were things I needed to insure her safety because being with me was anything but safe.

"I don't have time for this," I said.

That was why I hadn't mentioned the scents of shifter and vampire in her house. They were familiar to me but still, they didn't belong. I didn't have time to explain it or anything else to her. Faced with this combative, assuming mass of fury, I might have preferred the clingy woman she had been a few days ago. I didn't have time to babysit either version but at least when she was clingy; she'd been obedient and not nearly as infuriating.

"And I don't have the energy," She turned her back to me, seemingly putting an end to the conversation and dismissing me.

There was no shock this time, just anger. That emotion I was most familiar with and that was why I had the strongest hold on it. Perhaps I was feeling it so strongly because I just fed from her? Maybe it was due to the fact that I couldn't actually hurt her that made the emotion run free?

I hadn't even felt my hand moving but the shattering of glass told me I had lost my temper. I had taken an empty glass from the night table, thrown it with enough force to dent the wall and turn it to dust. Now I was staring in shock at what I had done.

"Are you kidding me?!" She shouted, sitting up. "How old are you again?!"

"I'm sorry," I said, taking a step back. "I did not mean—"

"What the hell is the matter with you?"

She went on a full-on rant peppered with curse words that were really quite creative. I needed her to shut up because my emotions were getting away from me and I wasn't sure what else I might do. "Enough," I growled. "Shut up!"

My tone should be enough to silence anyone. She either didn't know or care as she replied,

"Fuck you, Eric!"

I was on the bed straddling her thighs and before her next breath, my lips were crushing hers. She resisted for the smallest part of a second but not even our tempers combined could contend with this blinding connection we shared. For her it may have seemed impossible because of having my blood in her veins, thus magnifying her need. It was just as intense as the first time with an edge of desperation that would have made for a rough coupling. Instead, it centered me. It took away the volatile edge to the riot of emotion in me only Sookie could bring.

I got out of bed and dressed—again. "I know you don't understand much, especially where I'm concerned. I'll explain but I really can't tonight," I said, attending to the mess of broken glass. When that was done I retrieved the card and placed it on the night stand, "It wouldn't do you any good up my ass."

"I don't want your money," She said.

I wondered if she received the same benefits from sex as I did. Her tone had been firm but not angry.

"Like the car and the phone, it will be there when you need it."

It took willpower I didn't want to have to not kiss her goodbye nor to run my fingers through her hair, "I'll return when I'm able."

I went home, showered, and changed. Then I sauntered into the headquarters of my Area as if I wasn't nearly an hour late to meet with André, the Lieutenant of my State. It was almost as bad as being late to meet the Queen; almost, but not quite.

I nodded my head respectfully, "Lieutenant, my apologies."

"Is everything well?" He asked, looking up from the papers he and Pam had been pouring over.

I nodded my head again, more deeply this time, to acknowledge his concern no matter how phony, "Yes, thank you."

A lesser vampire might feel the need to explain further. I did not. He could ask but, as a sheriff, I was under no obligation to answer. We left it at that though I knew he was displeased. André enjoyed pushing the limits of his authority, specifically with me. He knew that I had the potential to rule a kingdom. It unsettled him that I had yet to make use of it. Sophie-Anne knew that I had no desire to rule and that was why she kept me close. I suppose she didn't share that information with André because intentions changed and he would see mine coming.

The meeting continued and I found that the longest I could make it without Sookie intruding on my thoughts was two and a half minutes. She really wasn't an intrusion. She was more like having a personal soft, seductive voice whispering tender words in my ear while breathing a sweet breeze over my skin I couldn't possibly resist. It was an improvement already from last night where she was a constant hum in my veins but it still wasn't enough. I was already trying to calculate how much moonlight remained. When André rose to take his leave I was sure I could get back to Bon Temps and back before dawn.

The Lieutenant's car door was open, and all I could think of was I was almost free of him, "There is a rumored asset here. Since it is in your Area, Her Majesty has delegated the matter to you."

"What type?" Pam asked but we both knew.

Tension was creeping into my casual pose at an alarming rate and I wasn't sure how long I could keep it concealed. Only something or someone who was so rare and so valuable would be worth his time. A telepath was both. I knew I couldn't keep her a secret but I had been banking on more time. It would have allowed me to plan the limit of exactly how much exposure to my world was best for Sookie's capabilities. Now we no longer had an option.

"Telepath," He said. He had been expecting a reaction and when he got none, he added, "It comes from a good source." Spy would be my choice of words.

"A great source," Pam agreed. "We have her in sight. We can confirm her ability but not much else at the moment."

"She?" He said, rolling the advantages of her gender in mind. "Is she pretty?

"Very," Pam replied. "Quite lovely, really."

The look that crossed Andrés' face was one with which I was very familiar. He was calculating, planning on just how to thoroughly use her.

Tension exploded into a visceral need to protect accompanied by rage. Along with those came emotions that made no sense; jealousy, a deep, intimate kind of terror that came with facing everything you feared in one dose... The conversation needed to stop or I was going to put Pam through a wall and end André!

"Lieutenant," Thalia called, appearing on the scene.

She nodded at André, and then turned to me. It was obvious she had something to discuss. I had never been happier to see her before and I knew I never would be again.

"I am needed elsewhere," I said, interrupting their conversation.

It was the first full sentence I'd uttered since my greeting. It wouldn't strike him as odd. Pam was established as my second. She did all the talking and interfacing on my behalf just as he did for Sophie-Anne. It was for her training purposes while I watched from the sidelines, but tonight I couldn't trust anything that came out of my mouth.

André dismissed me with a nod that I returned, and then I followed Thalia back into the office. I entered through the front door and before it closed behind me, I was out the back and in the air. My behavior was beyond erratic. That thought lived in the part of my mind that was once the majority. Now my logic and longstanding obligations were a dwindled memory. My entirety was focused on just one person. I needed to see her, to be with her. I needed her to relieve my pressures and soothe me.

I let myself in through the same window in the attic. Sookie was just I'd left her. The thought was a balm that allowed some of my sense to return. The same question that had plagued me while I'd watched her earlier returned to me now; how did someone so small manage to take up the whole bed? She was all over the place and I thought I'd never seen something so beautiful. She slept on her stomach with her left knee bent. One hand was folded over her pillow and head while the other was spread across the mattress. Her hair fell all around her like a ruffled golden trail.

Not only was my mate a stubborn, ill-tempered woman; she was a bed hog! There was no possible way for me to lay with her without waking her so I sat on the side of the bed and played with her hair. I let her deep even breaths and soft snores calm me. So far having a mate was hell, at least for me. I could understand why some would run to avoid this.

The emotional upheaval was like nothing I had ever experienced. I couldn't even compare this to when I was first turned. Then I'd just been thirsty but my Maker was there to help manage it. This…mating…left me feeling as if I had abandoned half of my senses, leaving them with her, and operating at half-capacity everywhere else. That might be fine for some, but for a sheriff? It was unacceptable.

* * *

**Closing A/N:** Let the vampire shit begin!


	14. Chapter 14

**Eric **

**Chapter 14**

**Countdown**

I left a half hour later with my mind back in order. When I caught Thalia's scent at the door that calm turned to dust. Jealousy and anger infused my spine like steel. Then I got a flash of clarity. Thalia needed to speak with me. That was why she had followed me.

"What is it?" I asked, shutting the door behind me.

"Pam."

She didn't have anything to tell me. Pam had sent her a message telling her to pull me from the meeting. I should have known her timing had been too perfect. I was angry at Pam but as with my previous ire, it wasn't deserved. She had done exactly what I would have, if my mind had been clear. The information she divulged to André was all limited to things that he would have found out eventually. I shouldn't want to shred her for it but I also couldn't help the way I felt.

"She feels it too, but it is nothing compared to the potency you experience. I think is because the mating is rooted to us, our nature, our magic."

I shook my head. "I can barely track her even though she has my blood."

She nodded. "You also won't be able to form a blood bond."

I had more questions but I didn't interrupt again. Thalia was talking and I knew it wouldn't last long. "Emotions you forgot existed are now rivers of fire in your body," She told me. "None of them are like the passion for her. Lust now consumes everything else in your mind. For the first few months you won't able to fight it. Don't try; it will make you a hazard."

She ran a hand over the back of her neck. It was a very human gesture to show discomfort, displayed by her; I had no idea what it meant.

"After that phase passes, you can think and walk straight. You may even be able to walk away if you fight hard enough."

In another part of my mind I was registering relief that this blinding haze was temporary and that there was a choice. It registered but not fully. For the first time since she became a resident of my Area I saw something other than her scowl or fatal smile. This expression was worse than both combined. I saw the bright green of her eyes but the utter listlessness to them was evident. She was undead but it didn't change the fact that she was half alive, if that.

"Is that what you did?" I asked.

"I should have." Then she was gone.

If I could feel it then I knew she could too. The glow of the moon was weaker. Dawn was fast approaching. We had to be the only two vampires out and about at this hour. Thalia left and with a parting glance back at the little house behind me, I did the same.

The pull of the sun provided physical relief from the constant uproar of emotion. Never before have I welcomed and hated the sun as much. Emotionally, I was consumed with worry. While I was dead for the day I wouldn't know if Sookie was hurt. She might be dead come first dark. I knew I wasn't myself, I knew I was being drastic, but it made no difference.

"This is Eric," I said, greeting the Alpha who owed me many favors and many more dollars. I gave him Sookie's address. "I want three of yours on her until dark." I could expand the patrol in the area to include her home. "Don't crowd or annoy, just keep her safe."

"For how long?" He asked.

"Until forever," I replied.

He didn't dare complain. The total of what he owed me meant I owned him. This didn't settle us, not even a little. He had a gambling appetite but he lacked the sense to tell him it was turning to a problem. I wasn't going to tell him. Having control of an Alpha meant I owned the Pack. It made things easier when it came to navigating the lines between our supernatural species. Right now, none of that mattered. He would keep my mate safe until I was able to do it on my own.

My fan base at the bar was such that I had to put in at least twenty hours a week. Fulfilling that had never before felt like a punishment but it did now. It had been two days since I last saw Sookie. I might have been able to function, but knowing of and feeling her own desire was driving me damn near out of my mind.

I was a hazard. In those two days, I'd struck two humans at the club. Clancy, one of my Area residents, walked just a little too close to me the other night, I was putting him through his car windshield before I even decided why he deserved such a thing. The day before that, I almost strangled Bobby, my dayman, to death.

The Weres had no update to provide other than that she was safe. I was trying to make myself believe that it was enough but even as I had the thought I knew I was being delusional. This deprivation was a different kind of hell. With every day that passed it was as if my skin was being stretched too tightly over my muscles. My bones felt like stone. I was a fucking mess.

Day three, I began working to recognize and control the triggers of my mood swings but that too was useless. I was a raw nerve. Luckily, few had reason to approach me so I was able to hide it. Internally, the storm raged. I knew I wouldn't last another night. I also knew that Pam was going to confront me. Unfortunately there was nothing I could do about that either.

"How long am I to pretend that you are not losing your shit?" She asked. "How am I supposed to preserve this Area without your help?"

Pam had literally planted herself in the doorway. I wanted to feel something other than the irritation that she was keeping me from the woman I wanted. My temper rose but I pushed it back. I needed her now more than ever before.

"A few months," I replied. "In the meantime, do what you need to save her from me and me from myself."

Pam stepped aside and I was out the door and in the air before my feet touched the ground.

It was early enough for Sookie to be awake so I knocked on the back door. I thought that I would tear off her clothes and ravage her until she begged me to stop. Yet when she opened the door I wanted nothing more than to just pull her into my arms, nuzzle her neck, inhale her sweet scent, and taste her lips. That was exactly what I did. I kissed her and her legs wrapped my waist as I sat on the closest chair with her straddling me. Our kisses and caresses were soft. It didn't inflame the mounting desire that had been consuming me; it soothed it. I wanted to be inside of her but holding her brought a different kind of relief to an ache I didn't know I had.

"I missed you," I confessed between kisses. "You have no fucking idea how much."

I held her beautiful face in my hands and fell into her eyes. It was that shade that confounded me the instant I set eyes on her, blue, almost turquoise, with flecks of lighter blue. They blended with a perfection that only nature could conjure.

Her fingers traced the contours of my face, "No one I asked said I was seeing anyone but when you're not here…"

I nodded. I couldn't ever remember anyone who smelled as good as her, and mixed with my scent, it was the headiest of perfumes. We maintained the slow rhythm as I began peeling off her clothes. I'd been too eager the last time to really get the full image of her body. She had no edges, just curve after womanly perfection. Her breasts, her waist, her hips and thighs, the fullness of her bottom, every bit of her was built for loving. I lifted her off my lap and sat her on the table so I could remove the last bit of clothing.

She was splayed for me, wet and waiting. I didn't know where to begin.

"Touch me," It was a desperate plea. Her voice was thick; her eyes were hooded and darkened with almost no light blue in them.

"Yes."

Sitting back in the chair I kissed my way up her leg. With every inch that brought me closer to her sex, that unrelenting pull eased. I had time tonight to indulge, to tease, but mostly to taste and I would. Teasing might have been a stretch. I couldn't, not with her wriggling and arching in demand though I had yet to taste her. When I did, I gave myself just the barest taste of her wine.

Another spark of clarity hit me as the luscious taste took over my senses. This lust-crazed period would pass but I knew if I ever had the choice to walk away, I wouldn't, not ever. I kissed her sex taking my time, watching, listening, and thrilling as she fell apart with every flick of my tongue.

Her legs were thrown over my shoulders as my hands attempted to keep her still while she bucked and arched in her throes of passion. I learned what she liked and how she liked it as her body gave me direction. I came just from having her cum in my mouth. That was a first, but I didn't care because in the time it took for me to bend her over the table I was hard again.

"Wait please…Eric baby, I can't…," She sobbed.

"Hurting?" I asked the question, watching the evidence of her pleasure dripping from her. It wasn't my blood telling me so; I just knew I couldn't hurt her.

She shook her head. "I'm…trying not to scream," She admitted breathlessly.

Judging by the way she was gripping the table, she was close. I fisted my fingers in her hair forcing her back into a sharper arch, taking myself deeper, drawing a broken moan from her. My lips were against her ear as I whispered,

"You shouldn't have said that."

I then fed the beast she had created. It reveled in her screams, her orgasms, and the sound of its' name tumbling from her lips. It took two more bouts of lovemaking in the kitchen before I was sound enough to get us to a soft surface. I meant to carry her to the bedroom but somewhere between the hallway and the bedroom door closing behind us. I had pinned her against the wall.

I'd never had a favorite sexual position until I had her there. It gave me access to all of her. Her legs wrapped around my waist, my hands palmed her ass, and her breasts bounced as we rode one another. I was able to pull the dusky tips of her breasts into my mouth, and, best of all, I was able to kiss her and look into her eyes.

We made it to the bed only to lose ourselves a few more times. I was lying between her legs with my head on her stomach. Her fingers were running through my hair, and every so often her nails grazed my scalp making me purr in pacified contentment.

"You sound like a big ole kitty cat."

I heard the smile in her voice and it brought one to mine. This was the clearest my mind had been in days and the calmest my body had been. I nipped at her navel making her laugh.

"Tina will be jealous," She said, very much amused.

If I'd heard this same comment three hours before I would have flown into a rage. Now I arched a brow in question.

"My cat," Sookie answered. "She's a feisty little thing."

I nodded and we fell back into an easy, lulled silence.

"Maybe I kept our relationship a secret for some reason," Sookie murmured a while later.

The words were speculative as if the question was directed inward. I knew I promised her an explanation. I had every intention of making good on it but I also wanted to hold onto the calmness for a while longer.

I shook my head. "The first time I ever saw you was the day I pulled you out of the car wreck," I told her. "This, what's between us, started right then."

I explained it to her as best as I could but I didn't understand much about it either, "Having my blood in your system only makes it worse."

By the furrow in her brow she didn't comprehend it either so I had to explain further. It led into me describing how the crash had come about. That brought me to the least desirable topic, the vampire hierarchy and my place within it.

"Are you listening?" I asked.

She hadn't once interrupted. Not knowing how to interpret her silence had aggravated me. The information I was providing was deathly important and I wasn't sure she'd even been paying attention.

"Four territories, Narayana, Zeus, Moshop, and Amun, which is where Louisiana's territory lies. Your Queen is Sophie-Anne, André is her Lieutenant, and you are one of her Sheriffs. That explains why instead of calling the police you were chasing after a Were high on vampire blood. All of this is secret and not for common human knowledge," She summarized. "I listen with my ears, not my eyes."

"I didn't know that," I told her.

My admission loosened the frown that had been forming on her lips and she smiled instead.

"I know the feeling," She replied wryly. "So that's why you can't be around much, work."

I'd never wanted to tell a lie so badly in my life. If it was just working that stood between us, I would be happily unemployed. There were intricate details that came with being a vampire of power that couldn't be easily explained or understood. There was the fact that I had enemies. Some of them I had earned while others marked me because of my loyalty to the Crown. There was also the fact that my world was written in blood and betrayal was as routine as taxes. Worst of all was the fact that while I wanted her, and while I felt as though she belonged to me, it wasn't nearly enough. Her telepathy meant that Sophie-Anne had some rights to her.

"Yes, and I have been trying to stay away," I admitted. "Sophie-Anne knows what you are and since you are in her State, she has some rights to you."

The climate held but as my words registered, it turned frosty. She pulled away from me. Just losing the warmth of her body from mine changed the entire atmosphere of the conversation. There was no denying that the mood had now turned combative. I didn't know if it was me feeding off of her emotions, myself alone, or her hostile glares that did it but, once again, I lost my temper.

"I haven't explained anything yet," I growled in warning. "So don't start."

"Don't start? You just told me some vampire Queen I've never met has dibs on me as if I'm a thing not a person."

"To her you aren't," I stated. "For the most part it's the way vampires see humans. When we aren't ignoring their fleeting existence, we are using their bodies to feed or fuck."

I knew I could never hurt her. Raising my hand to her in anger wasn't even a concept that my mind could process. To my surprise, it wasn't reciprocal. Sookie reached up and slapped me across my face! It didn't hurt but I wasn't used to getting slapped. She tried to leave the bed but I caught her around the waist and pulled her under me.

I pinned her wrists over my head in one hand and forced her to look at me. "I would never hit you," I said.

"You just did!" She spat, furiously.

"I told you the truth when all I wanted to do was lie!" I yelled. "That is my world and you can hate it but you are now a part of it."


	15. Chapter 15

**Sookie **

**Chapter 15**

**Trouble**

Eric had a horrendous temper, although if I was being honest mine wasn't any better. I'd slapped him, but at least I didn't go around breaking other people's things. One night when he'd come over he broke a drinking glass. At least he'd had the manners to clean it up after his temper tantrum subsided.

After the previous night, I was never so glad that I lived alone because he had ripped my bedroom door off its hinges and hurled it into the adjacent wall right after he punched holes through it. No sooner had I picked up a broom to begin tackling the mess when the cleanup crew arrived.

I let them in because I knew it safe to do so. Eric had sent them. I also had no idea to how to patch walls and fix doors. They worked and I stayed out of the way wondering how often they did this. Not one of them asked me what had happened.

Sam had been right to be worried when I first told him about Eric. I wasn't afraid of my vampire (MY vampire?), not then, and I wasn't now but I came to realize what he represented. It wasn't a pretty picture; it was a world where I was a tool, not a vulnerable creature. Would they care that I had headaches? No. They wouldn't care about what I didn't want.

Eric said Pam, his vampire offspring, would liaise on my behalf to insure my safety and see that I was compensated fairly. He had said all that and expected me to tolerate it. It was at that point I started yelling. Obviously we'd parted ways in anger and I wasn't sure when I would see him again. Angry as I was, I still missed him to the point of distraction. I still dreamt of him. I knew that if he showed up right this second I would spread my legs for him. It was a sad state of affairs.

I realized why he had thrown a credit card, a fancy new car, and a shiny cell phone my way. I had been flattering myself to think he would pay me that much for sex. No, it had merely been restitution, simple as that. I had gotten hurt during his high speed Werewolf chase. Now that I was going to have my life invaded by his Queen, he wanted to make sure I was also compensated in a manner suitable for a Royal asset. I didn't want money.

If not for being his supposed mate and having his blood, I was sure I wouldn't want anything to do with Eric. At this point, I wasn't sure I even liked him as a person. I wanted him and his vamp friends to leave me alone. I would also be more than happy to stop wanting him and believing he actually cared. I let out a breath to stifle my mounting anger. I just couldn't think about that.

I had to work and I considered it a good thing. Blocking the minds of folks in the bar as well as taking and balancing orders was enough to keep me mentally occupied. I needed that today. I didn't want to think of a vampire hierarchy and just how lowly on it I ranked. If I had it my way I wouldn't want any rank. I would just be with Eric. He wouldn't be a sheriff and I wouldn't be a telepath. What was the use in wishing? None. I knew that for certain. I'd been wishing for my memory since I lost it.

I wished I knew why a small family in town, the "Bellefleurs," thought I was so horrible. It wasn't anything specific, but there was an elderly woman, Miss Caroline, and her two grandchildren, Andy and Portia. Andy was a detective for the Bon Temps Sheriff's Department. Portia was an accomplished attorney. They seemed so pleasant to others and people liked them. I wished I knew what I'd done to them.

On top of the vampire problems, I was still trying to piece myself together, not that it mattered to _Him._ Then again _His_ knowledge was of the most intimate…I cut myself off before those thoughts could carry away my body.

My point? I could learn everything about everyone around me, even things they themselves didn't know, I just couldn't tell you if my favorite color had always been yellow or if I it was newly adopted. It was as confounding as it was pathetic. I wasn't sure if it was because I was immensely private or if no one had ever cared to learn. I didn't realize I was having a pity party until someone shouted my name jarring me from my thoughts.

Sam chuckled, "What planet are you on?"

He meant it as a joke but I couldn't laugh because I didn't know. It felt as if my tether had been cut and I was in orbit.

"It's going to be okay, you know," He said, coming over to me.

"If you tell me I should just feel lucky to be alive or that I should be patient I'll kick your ass," I told him. I've had just about as much of that as I could stand.

"Nope," He said with a smile. "That would imply that I have some idea what it feels like not to be able to remember almost three decades of my life."

I punched him in the side. A man as smart as him should know better, speaking of a ladies age aloud. "I am not almost thirty."

Trivial as that interaction was it made me feel better. It started me off on a good note from which to start my shift. I might as well smile, seeing my bills weren't going to pay themselves. I must have jinxed myself. After that early shift, I had a bill from the hospital waiting for me at home. At first, I assumed it was a mistake because there were entirely too many zeroes.

Vampire blood, for the trouble it had gotten me into now, had saved my life. It wasn't like I'd had brain surgery or the doctors had given me an answer as to why I was a blank slate. For what they charged, I could have asked myself those same questions and flashed lights in my own eyes! After looking at the bill from all possible angles and lighting, I had to admit I wasn't hallucinating. That was a real bummer.

I knew I shouldn't stress over things I couldn't change but I knew it was there just leering at me from its place on the hallway table. Plus, I was taking distractions in whatever shape or form I could find. I had learned something new about myself. Apparently on top of having a snippy inner voice, I was also a control freak. That was good to know but wasn't at all useful. The credit card was left here but I would melt and eat it before I used it. I hadn't done anything to earn it so it wasn't mine. What I needed was to remember where I was hiding money. It certainly wasn't at the bank.

I didn't make much but my expenses weren't vast. I inherited the house from my grandmother. Terry walked me to the cemetery and showed me her resting place as well as that of my parents. I stared at the names on the headstones for over an hour trying to recall for myself anything that would make them feel real. I got nothing.

I was convinced I had a large sum of money squirreled away somewhere inside the house. It wasn't under my bed or in any cans in the pantry. I made myself give up before I started digging up graves and the surrounding woods. Going on a futile treasure hunt worked up a sweat and an appetite. I fed my mostly outdoor cat, and then I showered and went to bed. The exhaustion was emotional not physical. Today had been a failure and I just wanted to make it my yesterday.

The next day I had breakfast on the porch swing. The afternoon sun found me in the same place, lounging next to my equally lazy cat except I had my little journal in hand. Outside of work nothing took my mind off of things as much. I wrote any and everything I could think of, except super-secret vampire shit. Some things I wrote made no sense.

Others were sketches that looked like gadgets out of a Dr. Seuss book. They were things that I could remember though I wasn't sure if they were from dreams or of memories past or present. They were just errant things flittering across my mind but they could be important. It was probably the most useful thing the doctor had given me, next to a prescription for my headaches.

I was doodling when I heard the car coming down my very long and pothole-filled driveway. The driver was male and he was really into the song on the radio. He was practically broadcasting it mentally.

"Are you lost?" I asked.

That could be only reason why he was out here in the middle of nowhere. There was no one around except for me and Bill. He was dead for the day and I wasn't expecting anyone. By the look of his car I didn't think he was from Bon Temps. His suit confirmed my suspicions. His blue suit was cut and tailor-made just for him.

He was older in a distinguished and refined kind of way. His auburn hair was tinged with grey at the temple. He was kind. It was the first thought I had of him. I didn't have to read his mind to garner it. I just felt as if he was. Tina also liked him and she didn't seem to like anyone.

"I don't think so," He replied with a warm smile. "Are you Ms. Stackhouse?"

"Who's asking?"

He walked to the foot of my porch steps and held his hand out as if there wasn't five feet between us. "I'm Eugene Wexler."

Ah. Now it made sense. He was a Chief Neuro something or other. His official title was a mouthful but I knew he was from a hospital in Maryland, Johns Hopkins? He was the one to whom the attending doctor at the local hospital had referred me.

He smiled brightly. "Yes," He retracted his hand, fished in his pocket for a card, and gave it to me. I took it anyway to be polite though the doctor's office had already given me one.

"I received a referral from your attending physician but I was surprised to see you removed from my appointment list."

"So you came all this way?" I wondered. That seemed beyond strange even to me.

He nodded, "With the parameters of your injury and the utter lack of physical damage, I was looking forward to your case."

Somehow he made me feel like a science project without actually offending me. I appreciated him coming all the way out here but I wasn't going to go broke trying to remember what I had forgotten. I told him so as politely as I could.

"I make enough," He told me plainly. "I am more interested in following how you heal."

"You mean if."

He shook his head, "I have seen minds and brains defy medical science. So no, I do mean how. I can also teach you techniques for thought filtration and categorization. This is a reflex as natural as breathing but for people with severe memory impairment it is degraded. The lines between eidetic memory and thoughts will blur over time."

"Blur how?" I asked. "Some kind of insanity?" I really didn't need that.

He shook his head vehemently and began talking with his hands. It took a good deal of concentration to not get lost in the elegant flourishes of his tapered fingernails. "Think of it like a foggy door. You know it's there but you will not be able to distinguish dreams from memories or thoughts. Information you take in will become more frustrating than helpful when you can't tie it together, leaving you to wade through millions of random code segments."

Like in my journal. It used to give me some hope that I was filling the book at such a pace but after a few weeks, I had exactly what he just described, a bunch of random things that I had no hope of piecing together. Sometimes when I went back and reviewed it, I didn't know what I had been thinking when I wrote down a particular phrase in the first place.

I invited the doctor in but we ended up on just sitting on porch swing for hours. Most of it was him explaining to me the complexities of the human brain. I couldn't say I understood the technicalities but I managed to understand the point of the whole thing. I also knew better than to tell him I was a telepath.

"Are you alright?" He asked, furrowing his brow at me.

Absently his hands reached out to me to do something medical, perhaps taking my pulse or to feel my forehead. I recoiled. I smiled in apology but my head hurt so much that I couldn't handle touch at the moment. With the pain in my head came the weakening of my mental shields. I was slipping into his head more and more. His thoughts were packed full of medical jargon so instead of feeling intrusive, I felt overwhelmed.

"Headache," I confessed, kneading my temples with my fists.

He nodded thoughtfully, "That is not unheard of. The skull takes a lot of punishment to keep the brain safe. What seems to cause yours? Where in your head does they start? Are they ever accompanied by nausea or vomiting?"

"Right now it's just accompanied by you," I quipped. Before I could begin to apologize for my poor humor, he laughed. It made him look younger and less like a doctor, if you know what I mean.

"I had that coming I suppose. I've been bombarding you for a while now," He rose to his feet to take his leave.

"Once it was accompanied by a nosebleed."

He made a noise of interest but didn't press, "We should keep regularly scheduled appointments. I wouldn't mind coming to you."

I nodded my agreement and rose too to see him to his car. When I did my journal fell open to one of those pages with a sketch of an odd gadget. It didn't resemble anything that I had at home or had maybe ever seen. I had no idea what it did or perhaps where I'd had seen it.

"You are artistic," He commented, handing it back to me. "I wonder how that comes into play."

I was done answering his questions and he knew it because he wasn't expecting a response. I also knew he would be back. I just couldn't deal with how I felt about that right now. He got into his shiny white car and drove down the dusty driveway. Before the sound even faded I was closing the door behind me. My whole face was hurting. It had reached the point where my eyes were tearing up. I went to bed with a cold damp rag on my head. It wasn't until the tension in my head eased that I finally drifted off to sleep.

I had a dream. It wasn't sensual or Eric-filled. I didn't even know how I knew it was a dream, I just knew. This place was nothing like the one I could remember before I shut my eyes. It was much too big, ornate, and fantastical. It might have been a castle or rather large manor. A full orchestra sat on a stage that was skirted with soft purple and red velvet. The same colors adorned the curtains in the elegant ballroom.

The floors were marble and beyond pristine. The chandeliers that hung above were intricate and might have been made of gold and diamonds. I wondered why I could see the details of the room but the flock of people was distorted. I heard music and laughter but I couldn't see for who the celebration was or the kind of celebration it was. I was on the outside looking in.

The dream followed me but remained foggy. I wrote it down and looked forward to my next visit with the doctor.


	16. Chapter 16

**Eric**

**Chapter 16 **

**Out Of My Head**

Fighting helped. The only person in my Area who fought me was Thalia. After she explained my symptoms we never spoke of them again. When I growled at her for no good reason, she snarled, not backing down. It turned into a bare-knuckled brawl that left both of us beaten but not broken.

I was fighting like a day-old vampire; I was all instinct and brawn, no brain. I was stronger but Thalia was faster. It turned into a nightly thing. I was able to function, somewhat. The undercurrent of lust didn't wane with the fights but channeling my rage was making me less dangerous.

I was entering the back parking lot of Fangtasia near closing time when I caught sight Bill Compton. I had been staying away from him intentionally. Pam was tracking where the leak to Sophie-Anne had originated. He was my prime suspect. That would have been perfect because then I could hurt him. Pam had cleared him so now I couldn't. He was a law abiding, tax-paying resident who had a standing date with my mate.

"Sheriff," He greeted with a nod.

"Bill," I replied.

I'd never seen Bill at the bar so he had to be here to see Pam. I hung back and less than a minute later Pam was exiting the bar in her working garb of black, latex, and leather.

"Where is she?" She asked Bill.

My fingers were tight fists in my jacket pocket but my face gave nothing away. If I wasn't going to help Pam help me, the least I could do was not hinder her. Showing a contrasting point of view in the presence of others would do just that. Worse yet, someone might get the bad idea to challenge her, we'd have to end them, and then pay a fine.

"She refused."

She asked carefully, "What do you mean, she refused?"

Rage roiled in the back of my skull. My jaw clenched with a nearly silent click. I knew I had given her free reign. I knew she was acting as I would have but sending another male to my mate's home went beyond the scope.

"I warned you she wouldn't respond well to being summoned," He replied, oblivious to the danger he was in. "When I tried to calm the situation with glamour as requested, I found her immune. She also realized the attempt. The situation deteriorated at that point. She rescinded my invitation and Eric's."

"She did what?" I hissed, bringing my homicidal expression to Bill's attention.

"That is all, Bill," Pam interjected. "Go in."

She artfully placed herself in front of me as she held the door open for him. Pam opened her mouth but I growled. I might be letting her run things but I was still her Maker and I was so angry that it wasn't safe for her. I gave her an edict and it hit her with so much force she crumbled to her knees, "You will never again attempt such means of coercion with Sookie."

I should have flown but I would arrive in Bon Temps too quickly. I needed to give my rage time to go from boiling over to simmering. It was nearly one in the morning but Sookie was awake and heard my approach. I didn't think she would answer the door but she did. True to what Bill had said, my entry into her home was barred by my nature.

"What the fuck do you want?" She said in hello.

As I expected, her eyes were that dark mercurial blue that spoke of her anger. I stared at her lips and the way her hands were braced on her hips.

"You; invite me in," I said.

A baleful disbelieving expression preceded her response. "I'm going to tell you what I told Bill," she spat "All of you can go to hell."

Trying to keep it together with her so close, with my anger at Bill and Pam still strong, was taking everything I had. I absolutely couldn't handle fighting with her.

"I am sorry for the way I left last week but I had nothing to do with what happened earlier," I replied.

"Yet the person that you said would "liaise" my working for your Queen did. She made Bill try to force me into doing something I didn't want. That's who I'm supposed to trust?" She shook her head and backed away, clearly ready to shut the door. "That is what you want me to OK? You can forget it. I don't trust you, any of you."

"Pam is doing what I should but can't," I told her.

"Why the hell not?"

My fangs were out and I was mid-snarl before I realized what I was doing. Was she serious? Did she think I ran around like this all the time? Of course she did! She didn't know me. She had no way of knowing that before her, few things ever elicited emotion. In this newly disheveled state, it hadn't crossed my mind to explain to her that I wasn't always a raving lunatic.

"Since finding you…" My thoughts were scattered, all my emotions running high but I tried to speak through them.

I cursed a blue streak because there didn't seem to be words strong enough to explain how just how out of sorts I had become.

"I am not myself. I can barely function with the draw for you so strong. Standing here like this, seeing you and wanting you… makes my skin feel like a prison so for pity's sake, woman. Let. Me. In."

The words to grant me access barely left her lips and I was on her. I picked her up and her legs wound around my waist. The path to her bedroom was littered with our clothes. The next three hours were a prismatic compilation of all of our volatile emotions and how we washed them all away with our bodies.

Attraction is a spark between two people. What Sookie and I had was wild roaring flame. It could not be tamed. It could not be controlled. It fed off of our primal desire, our turbulent emotions and exploded during our blinding union. I knew as I rode her body with reckless abandon that it would burn so hot and so bright that it would consume us, leaving nothing but ash. That wasn't what made it dangerous. It was the fact that we knew and we didn't care.

Sookie was curled against my side, lids heavy with sleep. "I'm sore," She said.

"I'm sorry," I murmured kissing her head. "I won't always be this starved for your touch."

I had expected it to disappoint her. There was no secret that while I was like this she owned me. She could use it. If she asked me to keep her away from the Queen I would. We would all probably die but I would have done it just to get her to touch me.

She nodded, "What about the temper? I'm getting tired of you breaking and replacing my things."

I nodded. She fell asleep soon after but I stayed and watched until the sun pulled me away.

Pam was in my daychamber when I arrived home. We didn't speak but when she reached for my hand I extended it to her and that was how I died for the day. Fighting with Pam was something I seldom did but this was how we made up.

"I will be myself in a few months," I told her. My head might get clearer and my emotions might not be as volatile but I knew I would never be the same.

Seeing as I was useless to Pam, she pretty much relieved me of my duties until my senses returned. Outside of showing up at the bar to put in my time on the floor, I was free. Pam took care of the rest including keeping track of our many spies and contacts throughout the many States in all four territories. I knew when to delegate myself to a place where I wouldn't be a problem.

The next evening started with me staring blankly at a canvas and then the television. I gave up on that, dressed, and found that other than the compulsion pulling me to Bon Temps, I couldn't think of a single place to go. It was no big surprise really. Since becoming sheriff a hundred years ago, I had never had any time to myself. Then again this wasn't a vacation; I was on leave for mental and emotional instability.

I lasted two hours before I gave into the urge to see her. Sookie wasn't home. I let myself in but nothing seemed out of place. I could track her because she was refusing to make use of the car I'd bought. On the heel of that thought was her finding harm on her way to where she had gone. It couldn't have been far.

She was on foot. I didn't even have to scent her out. Her footsteps had been disturbed by the wind and leaves but it was still easy to follow. Hunting her gave me a different kind of thrill. I didn't fly overhead; I walked alongside the path she had taken. Her destination came into view. It explained her association with the shifter. She worked at his bar.

My temper flared at the thought but when I entered, it was to see Sookie laughing with a patron. Laughter: I'd seen her smile, even chuckle, but nothing like this. The expression on her face was vibrant, and delightfully cheerful. It made me happy and jealous of the little boy to whom she was speaking. Sookie didn't notice me until the entire room was openly gawking. It occurred to me that a crowded human venue was not the best place for me with my emotions fluctuating this wildly. With Sookie in the room they were safe; I walked to a quiet section and found a seat.

It took Sookie a few minutes to come over. At first sight, the spark between us ignited to reveal desire. Underneath lay her emotions. There was surprise though but she was also wary. She began walking to me and all I could see were her lean legs and the way they encircled me. I was enthralled by the sway of her hips and the decadent amount of thigh her shorts revealed.

"The service here sucks," I said, greeting her with a grin.

She shrugged, unconcerned. I have seen her passion, pain, fear, and confusion. What I was faced with now was a cool veneer that reminded me of my own behavior mere weeks ago.

"Don't tip," She said.

I smiled a wicked smile that hinted at all the things I wanted to do to her. Judging by the spike in her pulse and mile-wide crack in her calm façade, she knew and didn't need telepathy.

"I have every intention to do that and more."

"I can't tonight," She told me.

It was a matter of pure male pride but as she told me she couldn't, I knew that she wished she could. Seeing I all but begged my way into her home last night, it was a needed boost.

Fighting off the worst of my hunger, I gave her a nod, "TruBlood if you have it, red wine if you don't," It didn't matter. I wasn't planning to drink either.

With a parting suspicious glance, she left and returned with the warmed drink while the entire dining room watched with bated breath. The smell of human food saturated the air as the humans whispered and gossiped over what they would never have any knowledge. It was all easy for me to ignore and so were the contemptuous looks the shifter directed in my vicinity. I was absorbed with one person only.

I watched Sookie work. It was interesting which just went to say how far gone I was. I owned a bar, I saw waitresses all the time, but because it was her I watched in complete fascination. Her telepathy was in use with subtlety, perhaps even involuntarily, but it was there. She knew to go to people before they called.

She replaced my blood twice, and each time she was exuding the coolness of before. I didn't like it. It would have been intolerable except that every now and again our eyes would meet and her face flushed before she caught herself. She would stare in open want, then catch herself, and go on about her duties.

"I'm heading home," She told me a few hours later.

"I will walk with you."

"That's okay. I got a ride," She gestured behind her where one of the other waitresses was waiting and doing her best to hear every word of our conversation. It didn't take much effort to catch her eyes. When I rose to my feet they roved over my body ending on my face.

"She's coming with me," I told her. "You may go now."

I didn't await a response. I took Sookie by the hand half-walking and half-pulling her out of the bar.

"What is the matter with you?!" She yelled. "Let me go. You have no right t—" Her words were cut off by a surprised shriek as I took off into the air. Her touch went from resisting to clinging on for dear life.

I chuckled. "Still want me to let go?" I asked.

Her expression was one of pure fury but it was ineffective and we both knew it. Flying seemed to calm her; she eased her rigid pose and looked up to see the night around her. Thalia was right; I could barely fly straight with her in my arms this way. My body was reacting even as my mind told me she was sore from my attentions from the previous week's activities.

"Do you want to come in even though we can't have sex?" She asked.

I nodded, "Yes, any degree of your touch reduces the edge."

When we arrived at her home, I went to the bedroom, she to the master bathroom to prepare for bed. I was sure I could control myself, and for the most part, I did. Then I heard the whispers of clothing being discarded, the spray of water, and I couldn't think through the ache of my erection. I wasn't sure if leaving would help or make the situation worse. I hadn't yet decided when the bathroom door opened. Sookie stood there naked. Steam from her shower rolled past the open door, bathing her in a phantasmal light.


	17. Chapter 17

**Eric**

**Chapter 17**

**Blinded**

"Want to join me?" Sookie offered.

"Yes, but you're sore, and I want to fuck you so badly right now,"

I was rubbing my hand along the hard ridge in my pants to ease as much pressure as I could. The relief was nil. The movement caught her attention and she stared with her lips slightly parted.

"You could heal me again," She said.

There were many reasons why I shouldn't but one reason why I did. When I washed her hair she moaned at the feel of my fingers massaging her scalp. I soaped her body with gentle strokes, exchanging hungry kisses as we went. I was letting the water fall across my back, with her back to my chest when I bit my wrist and offered it to her.

Those pretty lips wrapped around the wound as I ground my length against her. It took only a few seconds of me rubbing against her warm, wet bottom to cum. I wanted more and I knew she would give it to me. I was ready to pin her against the wall but she dropped to her knees.

Sookie didn't pause. She didn't even give me time to brace myself for her actions. She was going to suck me into oblivion. She just did it. There was no way to tell her what I liked. There was also no reason. Just having her lips on me like this was heaven with a pit stop in hell. My hips bucked, my fingers knotted in her hair in rhythm to the bobbing of her head. Any inhibitions she had started with were gone. She licked as if delighted and sucked me as if starved.

"Ohhh…fuck…," I groaned.

The feel, the sight of her parting her lips over my cock provided me with a toe curling, knee buckling, mind bending sensation I had never in a thousand years experienced. Her lips, her tongue were weapons and she used them to break me. Soon, too soon, she pushed me too far.

"I want to come inside you."

Sookie rose to her feet and I had her right where I wanted, against the wall with my cock buried in her to the hilt. Her nails dug into my back as I filled her to the point of pain. I didn't have to worry about hurting her. There was nothing in my mind, body, or soul that didn't want this, her…us.

"You would rather walk than drive a car I bought?" I asked. "Even though I explained it was reparations, not a gift or payment for sex?"

It made me angry then and I was still annoyed about it now, except I was too content to give into the emotion. That calmness only she could provide radiated around me just as her warmth and her scent.

"Um-hmm," She murmured. "I'm more comfortable walking. I don't have to think about it. When I'm going through town, it's like my feet remember where I'm going."

It dawned on me then. I had explained my need for Sookie. I had explained the vampire hierarchy and the need for Pam's intervention. I'd been obsessive about her physical wellbeing but not much else. I have talked at her but not to her. Not once had I asked about how she was. While most vampires were selfish in a self-preservation manner, we weren't self-centered. Sookie had never said a thing about it.

"How are you?" I asked.

"Tired," She replied.

"I mean with everything else."

She huffed, "Like vampires trying to force me work for them? Pissed off!"

Now she was just being difficult but her tone didn't speak of anger. I nipped at her in reproach which made her laugh.

"I already know your stance on that. Tell me about everything else."

She tensed in my arms and when she pulled away from me, I let her go. This was a prelude to a fight but I hadn't any idea what I had said to start it. She stared at me, her expression cagey, and in the dim lighting of the room her endless blue eyes searched my face. When it came to women, I never had to worry about not saying or doing the wrong thing. Any slight I ever committed was forgiven because of my pretty face. I wondered if it was the woman herself or the fact that she was my mate. That would explain how a simple question had changed the mood.

"Do you care? Or are you asking because we have sex and you think you should ask?"

"Both," I replied. Upon further thought, I nodded, "Yes, both. You are my mate. I care but I do show some concern for a frequent lover."

The altercation that I was sure was underway didn't come. She returned to my embrace and we talked about her. There were twenty-five years of memories she didn't have. As I listened, I was trying to imagine such a thing and I couldn't. I certainly didn't recall every day of the past thousand years but I knew they were there. She didn't have any of that. In terms of memory her life began mere weeks ago. What would it feel like not to know myself? A part of me knew it would mean a death sentence, but another part thrilled at the possibility of a blank slate. I told her so.

She paused and was pensive for a moment. "I never thought there might be things from the past that I might want to forget but I don't think I would take the trade though."

I agreed with her there. The conversation moved along. I heard about her visits with a doctor. She told me about her standing dates with Bill and what they did. I didn't want to hear more about that, even knowing it wasn't sexual didn't make me less tense with jealousy.

"Does the doctor help?" I asked instead.

She smiled. "Dr. Wexler is nice." She proclaimed. "He has a very calming air to him and he doesn't pry. "

"Does he think your memory will return?" I wondered. It wouldn't make much difference to me either way. I didn't know her before.

"He doesn't know but he believes I'll heal. Talking to him makes me feel more confident about the things I do know. I'm not afraid of being in my own mind. It's a start."

* * *

That first night I spent actually talking with her resonated with me even after many more passed. We talked more as we both tried to get to know who she was. I asked her questions, and none were in the past tense. I didn't know who she'd been; neither of us did. We spent our time learning who she was. She liked Jeopardy, romance novels, but a happy ending was a must. She also loved to cook. Judging by her dissatisfied expression with the meals she created, she wasn't good at it. She enjoyed failing and her failures were amusing because she couldn't even get her temperamental cat to eat the portions.

Sadly though, Sookie didn't like "Buffy, The Vampire Slayer." I overlooked that unforgivable character flaw by attributing it to her lapse in memory. Weeks turned to months and I spent every second I could with her. In that time I'd convinced her to make use of the car I'd bought. It was that or have me show up at the bar whenever she was working. I had no preference in my current state of mind.

Best of all, once Sookie got behind the wheel I was able to coax her to my house in Shreveport. Those nights were best. I went to rest with the scent of her on my skin and lips, and when I rose she was still there. I gorged myself, and no matter how much either of us, it was never enough.

She worked and I had to show my face at Fangtasia. There were times where I couldn't have her body or see her face. In those instances I settled for bare-knuckled brawls with Thalia. Then there were nights when I all I could see, smell, and taste was Sookie. She would take me over and I was all too happy to let her. I was able to say that I knew her better than she knew herself and it was not but the literal truth. Sookie was kind. It was in her nature to extend that kindness to people who didn't deserve it. At the top of that list was me but I wasn't alone. The entire town was guilty of it. They knew they could call on her for help but never offered her anything in return.

Summer had given way to colder weather. I knew this, not with my body, but by those of others around me. Once the cold hit, it took me longer to get my mate naked. There was a way about her that told me even if she wasn't meant for me; she would have piqued my interest anyway. It was clear in the things she didn't say and the way she moved with quiet grace and strength regardless of any internal struggle. I saw things I liked, her sense of humor and even her quick temper.

We still fought. There were so many fights. At this point, I was convinced that she no longer waited for me to offend her during our interactions. She got a jump on the arguing. I would lose my temper and either have to leave or break something, be it in her house or mine. How could I explain to her that I belonged to her entirely while I was like this and so she had to tend to me? I couldn't.

She wouldn't understand, so we fought. More often than not, it was a door slamming, broken walls, chairs through windows kinds of battles. I had displayed all those acts of aggression and more. It shamed me and infuriated her but when I showed up at her door, achy and needy she let me into her home and into her body.

It was almost time to ring in a new year. The humans were teeming with excitement. I knew Sookie was too. She was supposed to be home but I arrived there to find it empty. I went to the shifter's bar. She might have gotten the dates and times confused. Sookie wasn't there and neither was her shifter employer. It took me a few attempts because I was too unraveled to focus but I soon calmed enough to be able to tune into her emotions. The connection was weak, no doubt due to my inability to focus. The pull took me north.

I caught the scent of her blood wafting in the chilly winter air as it brought me to her. Sookie was in a heavily wooded area just outside the boundaries of Louisiana. She was dressed in a pretty pink dress that I was sure looked spectacular when she had worn it. Now it was sporting a claw mark on the side and was stained with dirt and blood.

Pushing my body forward, I landed beside as her legs buckled, threatening to give out. My presence changed the climate as it very well should. I became the focus of both sides, and the recipient of snarls and growls. Sookie was hurt but still alive. I was willingly to walk away. This wasn't my fight. If and when I decided to eviscerate the useless Packmaster of Shreveport, it wouldn't be public or quick.

"I am not fond of dogs no matter how many legs they're on. So were I you, I would not push me."

I couldn't tell one wolf from another but I did know those who were from the Shreveport Pack. Taking Sookie out of the equation dulled their aggression. They backed away. The opposition, however; didn't take kindly to my intrusion.

A small fox from the other side shifted into her human form. She was the definition of feral, so much so it overshadowed what might have been beautifully dark features. "That bitch owes us blood," She hissed.

"Please," I conceded with a nod and open palms. "Come and claim it."

A piercing howl preceded their attack. They moved like wolves as one cohesive unit, coming at me from all sides. I didn't move until they were a hair away, and then I let my powers unfurl. I hadn't had the concentration to do this in months. The burst of it was so powerful that it sucked the air from the area that it reached. One by one, I used the telekinetic hold I had to bash them against a nearby boulder. The fox got two turns because I could smell her on Sookie.

"Where is Alcide?" I asked the remaining wolves."I wish to have words with him."

A russet-colored wolf directly in front of me shifted. It wasn't Alcide but he explained the situation without being asked.

"He got married earlier today and that," He pointed to the still unconscious fox. "Is his wife, Debbie? Us three were on rotation to watch Sookie but since she was going to the wedding with Sam, we all got to go."

"Alcide's drunk and he got to talking about how pretty Sookie is and Debbie heard him."

And they called us savage. "That is why she tried to kill her?" I asked.

He nodded. "Debbie has issues," He stated plainly. "She poisoned Sam and Alcide with eye drops. While Sookie was tending to Sam, they jumped her and used her to play hunt."

My temper flared to dangerous volumes but I didn't want to let go of Sookie who was still unconscious so I just glared at all of them. I might have drained most of my energy in dealing with the fox and her friends but there was still more than enough left for me to shoot the messenger, Sam and the groom, Alcide. In fact, I hadn't yet decided against doing just that. Whatever blood offense Sookie had committed had been in self-defense. The fox bitch deserved much worse than she had received.

That show of power had taken a great deal out of me. I couldn't fly all the way back to Shreveport. I relieved one of the Weres' of his car. Seeing they were in enough trouble with me, he didn't complain. Sookie came around during the drive. Her injuries looked worse than they were. The little of my blood that remained in her system was making the worst of the cuts and scrapes look as if they were a week old.

"I'm never going to another Werewolf wedding," She groaned, rubbing her head. "Ow!"

"Explain to me exactly what you were doing going on a date with Sam!" I snap.

The silence that followed my question was loaded. Her reply was laced with anger, "I have a life outside of you. I have friends and Sam is one of them. I don't need your permission to hang out with them!"

"If you had my permission this shit wouldn't have happened!" I shot back. "Do you have any idea what it would cost me if you had gotten yourself killed?"

The rest of drive was done in tense silence. She couldn't wait to get out of the car fast enough. She slammed and locked the door behind her. I wanted to go to her but it would do no good.

It wasn't until I was walking away from Sookie's home did I realize I was back. Every decision I had made since I found her had been the right call. I had been angry. I wanted to dismantle the fox for harming her but I hadn't. The ramifications of it wouldn't be equal to the damage they had done. It had been difficult to be objective but I had done it without conscious thought.

The pull for her was still there. I recognized what she was to me. I still couldn't control that but I could handle my own reactions to it. Lust was no longer an infection spreading faster than she could cure. I could walk away, now. No, I didn't want to but with my clarity renewed, I also knew I couldn't stay.


	18. Chapter 18

**Eric**

**Chapter 18**

**Back To What You Know**

My control couldn't have returned at a more critical period. My Queen was getting divorced. When she wed Perter Two years ago, no one understood why. Sophie-Anne was a good Queen. She had powerful fighters who were loyal to her. That wasn't to say it should negate her marrying another royal. The shock of her marriage had been the sudden nature of it and her choice of groom.

Peter Threadgill, the King of the poorer state of Arkansas, was holding onto his lands by the skin of his teeth and the sword of his bodyguard, Jade Flower. Normally vampire weddings of royals took years to negotiate. There had been rumors of it being a love match. I knew my Queen; a love match was about as real as sprouting a second head out of her ass that sang carols. No, for her to be this eager, he must have made her an offer she couldn't refuse.

Sophie-Anne had raced Peter to stand before the Pythoness to finalize their union. In end all the sheriffs of this state including me had braced for an increase in duties. We assumed our Queen would make herself a widow just as soon as she could manage. That hadn't come instead we were headed for divorce court where things were bound to get bloody.

What I did was as reflexive as I assumed breathing was to humans. At least that was how it should feel but I was struggling. I walked away from Sookie and mating with her. I was back calling the shots but I still placed Pam between us. What else could I do? My interlude with her in that world where I wasn't a sheriff and she wasn't a telepath was over. It had been dangerous for both of us and it still was. I was a high-ranking vampire in a powerful Kingdom. My priorities could never be one human woman, telepathic though she may be. I was carrying an entire Area of vampires on my back.

I couldn't trust myself because I still wanted her as badly as I needed the moon and blood. I wanted her too. It might be because I couldn't implement physical distance. Even if I could have, I didn't think it would have helped much. With the little distance I had placed between us, I felt like myself mentally but emotionally I was pitted out and hollow. It wasn't distracting. It didn't make me volatile. It left me unable to feel much of anything unless it was related to Sookie.

I missed her. I missed the woman that could make me laugh just with a derisive snort or her enthusiasm when she found something she'd forgotten she liked. I missed making love with her in front of the fire or watching her sleep. I actually missed watching someone sleep, not the perfection of her breasts, or the curve of her ass, or the way it felt to bury myself inside her warmth. It was pathetic, and what made it even more so was the fact that the memory of it elicited more emotion from me than anything had in months.

I ambushed Thalia at the cemetery she slept in. "Does this pass?" I asked without preamble. "I have chosen to leave her but it feels like I'm missing a fucking limb."

She shrugged. Right, she hadn't walked away from hers. She couldn't help me.

"What happened to him?" I wondered.

Her frame tensed. I knew that it had taken extreme control not to pounce on me and attempt to beat the question from my mind.

"He was sixteen and didn't want to be turned at that time. I lingered in the same town for a decade without thought. They tortured him to confess I was a witch. He did thinking it would save us both. I rose to find him cut up in quarters in the town square."

She rubbed the back of her neck again and it was only then that I noticed it was a marker of deeply-rooted pain not discomfort.

"Have you ever heard of Connors Village?" She asked. "Northern England around year 1200 or so?"

I shook my head, "No."

She smiled that feral smile that I only saw when she was going to unleash hell. In this instance she was relishing an old kill, "No one has."

If I needed any more reason to continue my course Thalia had given it to me. I took the emptiness I felt and clung to it as if it was my salvation. I would take it in place of having Sookie die. In this state of mind I could make the right call that would keep us all safe.

That was why when Pam scheduled Sookie for her first job I didn't argue. The logical side of me knew that it was inevitable and it was also long overdue. Word had spread of the telepath. Sophie-Anne was bragging and it garnered envy. The longer Sookie was cosseted, the more curious both my Queen and other monarchs would get. It was time we put up.

The minute I knew Sookie was in Dallas to help with the case of King Stan's missing child I was beyond tense. It was to last at least two days. That was before I considered her choice of escort Pam had assigned, Bill Compton. Young as he was, he was a skilled fighter due to his time as a human soldier but he was…I disliked him. That was the truth of it.

Bill and every other man around Sookie got to see her face, I didn't, and I hated them all for it. It wasn't logical and I didn't act on the emotion but it was there like a valve in the vacuum that took the place of Sookie making it worse. I hated that Bill would get to be nearer to her than her shadow. I hated they would be staying in the same hotel suite. If I had this same thought two months ago I would be flying to Dallas myself to rip his head off. Such as it was, I took all I felt and fed it into that growing void.

What made all of that worse was the fact that I knew what Pam was doing. She was hoping proximity would force attraction between Bill and Sookie. Both scenarios had the same outcome. I would be away, free of her. If the tables were turned, I would have done the same.

Pam's effort was wasted. It pleased me though it shouldn't. I knew Sookie and knew that she could be alone on a deserted island with Bill and it wouldn't change the way she felt about him. She knew him before I ever came along. She didn't want him.

I was eager for Sookie to return even though I couldn't risk seeing her with my eyes. At least in my Area I could have eyes on her always and I would know that she was safe. Safety for all involved, that was why I was depriving myself. I knew that not contacting her and parting the way we had had hurt her but it was for the best. At least she didn't have to live with this hole in her life that nothing could even begin to fill. Plus, when I thought about how out of control I had been, I knew if not for Pam neither Sookie nor I would have survived.

Nothing I told myself mattered as I rose on the day Sookie was due back. Clancy was supposed to meet them at the airport. When the normally jovial vampire called I already knew something was wrong before I heard his grim tone.

"Flights' come and gone," He told me. "They weren't on it."

"Call Bill," I ordered Pam.

I heard the call connecting but it went unanswered.

I headed the negotiations with Stan's people. Pam handled the logistics of it. She had all the flight and all the hotel information. Pam tried the hotel room and didn't get a response. I tried to get a hold of Stan's people but was unsuccessful. I would worry that they had decided to end Bill and keep Sookie by force but I knew Stan. He didn't pick fights and no one who had picked a fight with the four-hundred-year old vampire had lived to tell of it.

Vampire higher-ups couldn't just prance in and out of each other's territory without prior consent. Sure we did it anyway. I did it but when you were caught you really wished you hadn't. Bill had been cleared to enter and was temporarily under the protection of that sheriff during his stay. I was not. In fact I wasn't welcome. It was nothing personal. I was old and powerful so they didn't want me near, circumstances notwithstanding.

I sat still to calm myself. Images of Sookie screaming and being tortured formed in my mind and I couldn't shake them. The longer I failed to make contact, the more morbid and vivid they became. If it continued, I knew I would break every rule of engagement I held sacred between Kingdoms.

"Turn on the telly," Clancy said. He was on the phone with Pam. Hearing the interest in his voice I did as he said.

"What station?" I asked.

"It's breaking news so any will do."

True to his words, the instant the television came one I was seeing a church burning to the ground from every angle possible. "My girl at the station says that all hell is breaking loose there and it started minutes after the fire," Clancy said.

I barely heard him. My direct line to the Queen was ringing nonstop as was my office phone and cell. I took the most pressing call.

"What is this?" Sophie-Anne screeched in hello.

She had been informed as a courtesy that Sookie was in Dallas. I didn't think she would be paying attention but apparently she was. She was talking and I was watching the newsbreak but I couldn't believe it. A church of the FOTs had been burned down or blown up supposedly by vampires. Neither allegation had been confirmed. Whatever or whomever had caused it; it had turned it into a smoldering edifice. Supposedly in retaliation, the dimwitted humans sent a squad of bigger idiots to shoot at a vampire sheriff's base. There was fighting in the streets and reports of vampires openly attacking humans. In all the chaos were casualties from both species piling up. It was a clusterfuck of epic proportions.

"I do not understand your concern," I replied blandly. "Not your state, not your problem."

"What is the status on my telepath?" She asked.

I swallowed the growl that was about to erupt. "Unknown," I said, hating the truth of it.

I should have sent someone more skilled than Bill. I should have assigned her daytime protection while she had been gone as well. I swallowed the regret in order to focus on the matter at hand.

"Stan himself signed the contract for her aid. He knows that if he breaks it, he buys it."

That night was a flurry of activity at least for the vampires in Texas. The rest of us watched. I was trying to believe the same words I had told my Queen. Stan would make sure Sookie was safe because it would cost him money he didn't want to pay. That was vampires cared about, wealth. It was all I had to keep me sane as the sun rose and my mate was still lost in the chaos, hundreds of miles away.

Sookie arrived in Louisiana that morning. While I was dead for the day, I had my dayman pick her up. She was the first person I checked on. I knew I should let Pam do it and pass on her status to me but I just couldn't. I told myself that it was something I would have done were she not my mate. She was, after all, an asset to the Kingdom. I told the lie to myself with no chance of believing it.

I used the same window in the attic I had used the first night I spent with her. Her ability warned her and what I saw took my rage and amped it up to volumes that were unhealthy for those around me. She was so battered that I didn't know from what angle to begin assessing her damages. There wasn't any damage to her face and neck.

I should have done what I wanted. If I had, none of this would have happened. By the defensive wounds on her arms, she had done a good job of protecting her face. That was great but it should have never come to pass. Bill should have been with her. Her left arm was where the worst of the harm seemed to center. It was wrapped in a splint while everything else had been simply bandaged.

My rage roiled but I pulled it back. There was no one here to use as a vent for it anyway. I had the perfect candidate in mind. I would snap Bill's neck and offer him a perfect view of his backside. That would make me feel much, much better.

"What happened?" I asked, gently examining her arm. It didn't appear broken but a bone was bruised, maybe worse.

"I fell," She said with a shrug.

I stare at her dumbstruck for a blink too overcome at her succinct explanation. I had tried to lie to myself to justify my presence here tonight. A part of me had been expecting to offer her comfort, to hold her because after her ordeal surely she would need my reassurance. Giving her reassurance or healing her injuries were things I would do without thought. She didn't want that. It translated in my mind that she didn't want me, which was what I should have wanted but not something I could definitely not handle.

"Where the fuck from?" I exploded gesturing angrily at her hand. "Where the fuck was Bill?!"

"He was busy trying not to get staked. Apparently this," She gestured to her injured her arm. "Is standard when on the job for you and your stupid vamp friends, so don't you yell at me and don't you dare blame Bill. He was there, you weren't!"

It wasn't an accusation or a judgment. She had stated a fact that I feared would always be. Having her safe was all I wanted but, due to the circumstances, I couldn't make it a forthright priority. I was frustrated that I had no control of what had happened, or what was happening at the current moment.

My anger was gone now and I was just left with that void, her disappointment in me, and my regret.

"I've had enough of vampires for a while. Please, leave."

What she meant was that she'd have enough of me. It hurt but I told myself it was a good thing. She hadn't said anything that I no longer came to her to sate my needs. She knew that I was walking away and sh let me. So, what else was there for me to say? There definitely wasn't anything I could do.

I left but I didn't go far. I swooped across the cemetery and into Bill's house. The scene looked like something out of a medical tent in a war zone. Bill had two needles in each arm feeding blood into his veins. Thalia was begrudgingly donating blood to him the natural way.

The presence of the tiny daemon doctor, Ludwig, spoke of the gravity of the situation. I rarely saw her and when I did, it was because someone was just shy of being finally gone. She was working frantically over Bill; her wrinkled little face intent. I looked behind her.

What I could see of Bill was covered in so many bullet holes that he looked like a moth-ridden garment. It told me that the assailants had used silver ammunition. Despite all the blood transfusions he was receiving he had yet to heal. That left me with no one to fill in the gaps as to what had actually transpired in Dallas.

I was powerful but never felt so helpless. It should have been me. I should have been the one who should be standing in Sookie's defense. It went without saying that I would have been more effective than Bill. Even if I wasn't it was or at least should be my place to take punishment for her; instead I was left to delegate behind the scenes.


	19. Chapter 19

**A/N: Hey all! If you don't know nominations for SVM/ TB awards are now open! Of course I'm looking for your votes. There are tons of fun categorizes. Check it out at youwantbloodawards...wordpress...com (remove the dots.) **

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**Eric**

**Chapter 19**

**Torn**

Pam was gone for two days and when she returned, she had the information I needed. "Stan had a human mole in his nest placed by the Fellowship," She said, changing into her Fangtasia garb.

"He told them what Sookie was and where she would be. He was also how they were able to kidnap Stan's child. It was with help from another vampire named Godfrey. He wanted to end his time but they convinced him to take a few of us with him. They captured Bill and tortured him. Sookie broke into the church to rescue him. That was how she got hurt. When she let Bill loose, he killed the humans. Then he and Godfrey fought. The church caught fire during the fight."

"The shooting?' I asked.

"It was a planned attack. It would have happened with or without the fire at the church"

My mind went to Sookie and I felt something beyond missing her. I felt guilt. I had lost my temper with her but, according to what I just heard, there was nothing she could have done. Her identity was compromised before she got there. Her guard had been abducted. I would apologize but I knew she didn't want that. She wanted me to leave her in peace and if I could I would.

"Stan's check cleared and I've written both hers and Bills'," Pam said. "I confirmed her arrival in Jackson for next month."

"How are you sure she will go?" I asked.

Given the recent disaster and the confrontation between us, I was sure she wouldn't be compliant, not that I could blame her.

Pam shrugged, "I told her who would suffer most if she didn't. It was effective."

Me. I was starting to not like Pam. I think it was because I made her such a great contender that not even I was safe. That wasn't entirely true. She was trying to doing exactly what I asked, what I needed. I thought that Sookie being angry with me would negate my suffering being used against her. It wasn't. The woman was so damn selfless it was sickening.

Pam was as practical as I'd trained her to be as I couldn't be in this situation. The only way to break the hold would be to make Sookie not care about me in the least, and then there would be nothing else to coerce her cooperation. The thought hurt but it was for the best.

Sookie had to work as a telepath. That couldn't be helped unless I wanted my Queen's wrath on me and my entire Area. What I could do was assign her a guard. Pam was sending Bill again and I absolutely refused.

"Thalia," Pam repeated looking at me. "You want to send Thalia?"

"Yes," I said. I made my point and stuck to the cold hard facts. "What happened to Bill would never happen to her. She is old, well known, and loyal."

"She is also a maniac," Pam countered. "No royal would let her within a hundred miles of their people. The only reason Sophie-Anne hasn't ordered her expulsion is because you protect her."

I shrugged, "Tell Russell it is Thalia or no one."

If he refused Thalia then he would lose his deposit and Sookie would stay right here, which was what I wanted but if she went to Mississippi Thalia would be with her. Thalia was known for her less than tolerant persona. It was a win-win. I had underestimated my child again.

"I'll go," Pam offered. "I can get clearance. Toby and I are close. He'll vouch for me."

It was like trying to win a chess match against myself. I'd created a monster and then wanted to complain as it did all I'd done to encourage it. Pam knew how I thought and she also knew what I felt. She was using all of those things, not against me, but for me, for our Area. I hated her for it but I was also grateful.

"Protect her," I told her before we closed the matter. It wasn't an edict but it wasn't exactly a friendly suggestion.

Pam nodded, "She is important to our Area."

"She is important." I concluded. "Protect her as you would me."

At this point it was hard to say if Sookie was a magnet for calamity or if it was me. I was contemplating the possibility that I might be bad for her health. There was more than enough evidence to substantiate that claim. The thought was a painful one, but again I welcomed pain instead of nothingness.

Instead of driving, Sookie and Pam flew. I let my blood tune into Pam's in a way I hadn't in decades. All I felt was an unrelenting calm. It wasn't enough to have me leave her. I was conscious of every fluctuation, few as they were, and I tried to explain it. I thought I felt irritation and I smiled to myself. Sookie had that effect on me too.

Under Pam's irritation was something else, it was fleeting, but because it had been my constant companion for months past, I knew it as jealousy. It was past midnight when trouble came. All of Pam's emotions faded as she honed all her senses onto something. I waited for it to pass and, when it did, it was replaced with a warrior's edge, a single-minded ferocity.

My phone rang. It wasn't Pam. It was the cell that I had given to Sookie months ago. "Pam's fighting and she told me to drive away but…" I could hear that much in the background. There were snarls of aggression and both parties were moving so fast that that too had its own whirling voice in the background.

"She's hurt, Eric, bad," She told me. "I don't think I should."

"It's alright," I told her. "Get in the car and drive away."

Pam had made that call because she was sure that it would save them both, because she was sure that the attack was centered on getting Sookie.

"Are you here?" She asked.

"I'm on my way," I told her. I was already outside ready to break records getting to them.

"Take your time," Sookie muttered.

"What are you going to do?" I asked. There was no answer. "Sookie!" No response.

I heard the sound of her breathing, the sound of her feet moving, a door open and close, the click of safety belt, and then the purr of Pam's car. The car took off and seconds later I heard a crash. It wasn't metal on metal. It was more as if she had struck something softer or someone.

"Holy shit!" She murmured. Before I could ask, I heard tires peel.

I went back into my office and called Russell. Toby answered. "We see them," He told me. "…Jesus, Mother of God!"

Toby's exclamation came at the same time as Sookie's scream. The sound of it was blotted out by the screech of metal protesting as it ripped apart. I was being torn in too many directions. Pam's pain was beginning to seep into me and so was Sookie's terror. I could hear it and feel it. It was all I could stand. I was no longer a sheriff.

I was barely in the air when she perched on my back. I recognized who just as her hand came down and then there was darkness.

I woke the next night at the base of Area Five. There was dried blood and splinters of bone matted in my hair. I was in the general resting area underground. Thalia must have brought me here after she had cracked my skull. It didn't surprise me that she was nowhere in sight. In all her time here she never let dawn find her in any place other than a cemetery. It might very be her final resting place I thought menacingly.

I had that thought but then the blood ties I had seared into my mind, "Pam!" I looked around panicked because I had no clue in which direction to go. It was because she was here with me. I found Pam in the room closest to the kitchen. Doctor Ludwig was trying to clot all the wounds in her body. Pam was gone. In the place of my calculating second-in-command was a vampire. It was raw and it was only the silver-lined coffin with lead that held her. Her fangs were out fully and her eyes were crazed. She was doing herself more harm than good.

"Pamela, be still," I ordered.

The edict hit her and she went limp but it did nothing for the steady snarls erupting from her. The doctor worked and I cut my wrist and I fed her. It silenced the high pitched whimpers coming from her.

"Sookie's okay," She told me between pained-filled screams. "Safe."

I didn't know what the doctor was doing to her but as it mended bones, it took Pam through hell and seemed to leave her there for minutes at a time. Once she was removed from the restraining coffin, I climbed into the bed where she had been moved and held her as close as the tubes of blood allowed. Lately, I'd spent so much resenting and hating her intrusion that I had lost sight of just how much she meant to me.

Sookie was safe but Pam was my child. "I need you to be well also. I need you Pam."

It took two full days of me donating blood and transfusions for me to feel comfortable enough to leave Pam's side. The minute I could, I went to check on Sookie but it was from a distance. I couldn't get wrapped up in her. Pam needed her Maker and Sookie hadn't sustained nearly as many injuries as in Dallas. I knew it was because Pam had taken them for her.

It could be that Sookie was so sought after that vampires who would normally adhere to rules were violating them. Russell was in that category. I didn't see him setting Pam up. It wasn't that he wasn't capable. It just didn't make sense and it was sloppy. Neither of those things did a good King make.

The attack had not only been in his State but in the heart of his territory. He had also signed a contract that not only covered Sookie's safety but Pam's as well. It left only one possibility, someone; most likely a vampire, had tried to take Sookie, end Pam, and have Russell take the blame. It wasn't a bad plan. I had been so blinded by Pam's pain and Sookie's fear that my vampire had been a hair away from taking control and unleashing hell. It would have taken the obvious bait.

Now I realized that was the aim except Thalia had been there. She had bashed in my skull and it had cleared my mind. It kept me from killing us all. Russell wouldn't do this, we had a working relationship. It wasn't a public knowledge. It wasn't a means to out maneuver or a means to betray Sophie-Anne. It was a mutually beneficial relationship based on respect and the exchange of information.

I wasn't expecting him to come when I called but he did. He came with only his husband, His Majesty, King Bartlett Crowe of Indiana. Not even his second, Betty Jo, was in sight though I knew she couldn't be far away. It was a show of good faith, one that not even Sophie-Anne would show me.

"I'm surprised you came," I told him.

"Not doing so would indicate that I fear you and that I am guilty," He replied with a winning smile. "Neither assumption is accurate."

I stared at him trying so hard to see guilt but it didn't show. It wasn't there. He had come to see if I was now an enemy, just as I had assumed he was. I relaxed my rigid pose. It was hard because Pam's pain was there side by side with the emptiness that was now my constant companion.

"What happened?" I asked him. The hostility was gone from my tone and my stance. Bartlett read it and allowed him forward, but only slightly. Russell was still in his shadow when he responded.

"I…I do not know Eric," The King of Mississippi told me sincerely. "The telepath was supposed to be the attraction of our wedding anniversary. I sent Toby and his people to receive her and Pam. They arrived in time to see Pam clinging on to this side of the veil and your telepath being dragged away."

That matched what both Sookie and Pam had told me. "By whom?" I asked. "Did they make out anything, a face, or a scent anything?"

"Sunlight," Bartlett answered. "The assailant smelled like the sun, so much so it blurred his natural scent. If he wasn't vampire I would say he went sunbathing before the attack."

Russell nodded, "No one saw his face but…"

"What?" I growled.

I got a low growl in return from Bart, "Watch the tone."

I raised my hands and took a step back. "What, please?" I qualified.

Russell giggled but he was the only one to find humor in it.

"He was in the air within leaping distance but she was fighting him, tooth and nail by what Toby said," The King told me.

That definitely sounded like Sookie, I thought.

Russell continued. "With her fighting and the injuries he sustained he couldn't keep his hold on her, she fell."

I nodded but I was also disappointed. Sookie had already told me as much. "Toby caught her," I concluded.

Russell shook his head, "No. It was what it looked like. Hell, even Toby thought so at first but no."

"I don't understand," I admitted.

"Well, they were miles in the air, the telepath and her would-be kidnapper?"

I nodded, "Yes,"

"Toby cannot fly. He told me he saw the telepath fall and the assailant dive after her. He was flying more slowly than she was falling presumably due to injuries from his fight with Pam. He dove to break her fall when it was clear he couldn't catch her and they both landed on poor Toby."

That made no sense. Flying off with Sookie was risky but diving after her was even more so. Self-preservation was innate in all creatures. His aim might have been to kidnap Sookie but once he had been injured he should have abandoned it, especially with reinforcements present.

"Now, my first thought was that a dead telepath is useless so he would save her life but there were other ways to do that. He could have tossed her in the nearby lake or actually thrown her at someone below but he didn't."

That made no sense.

"I would wager it is someone who wants her for more than her ability. She is lovely, like a baby doll," Russell concluded. "They want her safe."

Yes but who?

I left but the information I learned was spinning in my mind. By the time I returned home I had still managed to make no sense of it. It didn't matter. From now on, anyone that wanted her would have to venture into the heart of my territory for her services. It was that or nothing. It would anger Sophie-Anne but it would ease my mind. This was the second assignment and it was the second time she had nearly been killed.

I took my oath of fealty deathly serious, both the one I made to my Queen and the one I'd made to the vampires in my Area. It was why I was depriving myself of the one woman that I knew would make me whole. It was why I was letting Pam treat her as just an asset and not my mate. It was what was best and it was safest. Then I had to ask myself what was the point in my sacrifice if I was sending her into danger at every turn?

It seemed that no matter how well I tried to prepare for sending her out of my Area, it was dangerous. The truth I had been trying to ignore was that if anything happened to her, this emptiness would take me over in full and I would be lucky if I came out of it as sane as Thalia. That was the best I could hope for? I refused. With or without me, she was a target. I accepted that truth and for me the fight was over and it was then that I knew it should have never been.


	20. Chapter 20

**A/N: This Chapter is long. I contemplated cutting it in two but when this was developing, eah of the main characters had their set amount. This will be it for Eric for a while. I think it's long overdue that Sookie have her say. **

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**Eric**

**Chapter 20**

**Battle lost**

My mood lifted and I felt the difference just in my acceptance alone. It was just after 1AM but if I was lucky, she would just be arriving home from work. wouldn't care if I only got to see her face as she slept. I arrived there but Sookie wasn't home. I didn't know why, but focusing on her emotions had never been easy. With my blood having long faded from her body, I had nothing.

I couldn't tell what state she was in. With her affinity for trouble, anything might have befallen her.

"Merlotte's, Dawn speaking."

"Good evening Dawn, this is Eric is Sookie available?"

There was a pause. It was an uncomfortable one. I could hear her change in respiration. "She's at Elroy's with this other fella they seemed real cozy but seeing you're back on the market..."

I was in the air when I heard 'Elroy's' at the mention of another man, doubled my speed. I knew exactly where the human club was. I wanted whatever man Sookie was with to be a vampire so I could rip his limbs off. Knowing her, I knew he wouldn't be. She wanted to forget my world, she wantedto forget me when I had no hope of forgetting her. I caught her scent as I landed in the area. I could almost hear her voice even through the music and chatter as I entered the crowded room.

Sookie looked dressed to kill, it was figurative until I reminded myself she was with another man. Her dress was a plum colored strapless number doing sinful things to her curvaceous body. That was before I caught sight of her breasts and they way they filled the top of the dress. Her telepathy might have alerted her to my presence then again, it may have been the intensity of the eye fuck I was giving her, whatever the reason, and she looked at the exact spot where I stood staring at her. I expected something. I expected her to look shocked or guilty. I would even take anger but I saw nothing. She looked at me and then right past me.

I felt as if she was more than angry; she was hurt. As always I had no idea what I had done and as always she was trying to keep a calm head. I had to admit that nothing annoyed me more than her indifference. It wasn't that I enjoyed upsetting her, I just hated feeling like I didn't affect her. More than anything, I felt like as if with every row, I was pushing her further away. It gave me some control as I approached her. The scent of the man she was with insulted every core of my being. He was a Were.

"Tell your friend goodnight," I said. I was quite pleased with myself for sounding as calm as I did. What I really wanted to do was snarl and shout, in that order.

"You chose to walk away." She said. "So unless you have work for me, we have nothing to discuss."

"Is that why you think you can be out with someone else?" I barked. "Do you think that's what I've been doing?"

"I don't care what or who you do and I expect the same courtesy."

With a parting nod and a scowl she spun on her heel. My hand was around and atop her arms before she finished her about face. It caused her to teeter unsteadily in her high heels but she didn't get a chance to wobble. Sookie stood utterly still with her back stiff and half turned to me.

"Get your hands off me, Eric. Now."

She wasn't panicked or afraid. Her words were reeling with cold fury. Good. At least no matter how angry she made me we both knew I wouldn't hurt her. It didn't mean that I thought she didn't deserve it. It just meant that I cared about her too much to raise my hand to her in anger. Be that as it may, my fangs were making an appearance.

"Then don't turn your back to me when I'm speaking to you."

Despite all the noise and the scents, I could feel Sookie taking breaths to calm herself. I fed off every breath she took and used to ease my ire. With every second that passed the tension between us dropped an octave. I hated fighting with her. It wasn't we did best, not even close, it was just what we did most. I hated that too.

"You can't be with me, I get that so no one else can have me, is that it?" She finally asked, as if defeated.

"No."

That wasn't it at all. I wanted her, all of her. I sure as hell didn't want anyone else to have her. With my position and her title in the Kingdom it was hard to spell out plainly. I wasn't just a vampire and she wasn't just some human. I couldn't focus on just being with her, not when I had to focus on keeping her safe on her assignments.

More importantly, I had to keep her beyond the reach of Sophie-Anne. That and her insistence on fighting me was what was wrong with us. I didn't get a chance to explain any of that. The Were Sookie was with trotted over as if she had blown a whistle.

"You alright?" He asked.

"She's fine." I growled.

"She can spe—"

Admittedly, he wasn't the source of my anger, frustration, or hurt but he would serve as the outlet all the same. Plus, this would teach him to stay out of vampire business. Between one of his blinks and another, I had moved from Sookie's side to her back. I didn't run, I flew and rammed my shoulder into the mutt's face. I heard something break. It made me feel so much better. Hopefully he would be chasing his tail on three legs during the next full moon.

"Eric!" Sookie shouted.

"I'm really not a dog person," I hissed.

"Eric, stop it!" She called.

I heard her but didn't slow. Before he was half way through the air I was already heading in his direction. A tenth of a second ago I had been holding onto Sookie to keep her beside me. Now, she was pulling me back. I think she believed that would keep me from neutering her pet. It wouldn't. Her resistance was as effective as a feather.

"Take me home," Sookie said. She was leaning her weight into me but it wasn't forceful it was pleading. Her hand was cupping my face and she was stroking the base of my neck with her thumb. "I want to go home with you."

There was one thing I wanted more than to rip a Were to shreds. It was the only thing I wanted since I knew it existed. I was flying out the door with Sookie in my arms. I liked her in dresses but I have never appreciated her fondness for them until this moment. I was churning with the thrill of a fight. I was tense from the want of my lover. Once we were in the air I had my hands under her dress, pushing her flimsy panties to the side.

Her lips found mine and she kissed me with all the passion that would have gone into a fight we didn't have. My mind was gone. I was in my lover as we drifted over Shreveport. The louder she cried out for me, the harder I rode her, and the less control I had. Sookie was an angel and we were in the air; this was as close to heaven as I would ever get. I was glad of it. I didn't want to fight.

I wanted to fuck until all the ache of being apart had left on me. I wanted to blot out any and everything that wasn't her. I had lost all sense of direction. I didn't know I had touched down. The feel of the earth was at my back, the warmth of my lover engulfed me. Remotely I could hear the sounds of fabric tearing but the only thing that mattered was the thrill of having more of her warm skin to touch and kiss.

Sookie didn't break contact with my lips as she guided my throbbing cock between her hot slick folds. She gasped as she took all of me inside her. I wanted more, thrusting up I buried myself in her to the hilt. It hurt but by the look in her eyes, I knew it was a sweet kind of pain. It brought out the vixen in her. Her hands were planted on my chest as she rode me into a oblivion.

I never had to worry about hurting Sookie because I was good at keeping the innate predator I was leashed. With all the things her body was doing to mine, with the torrent of emotion between us the clamps were weak. The beast was riled beyond anything she had ever pushed it to.

I needed to reinstate some control. "Wait…" I groaned.

"No," she whispered.

The refusal was punctuated with a bite on my left nipple. Her stride didn't break, it didn't slow. With a sexy smile, she took both my hands and brought them to her breasts. All the while she ground her hips and continued to heighten our pleasures. I growled as more strands of my control snapped. I meant to call out to her to stop. All I managed was a throaty groan. My vision was blurring. It was taking on the tinted edge that came with a vampire running off instinct entirely. I had the thought to push her away but my body was running off instinct and my mind was soon to follow.

"Wait...I..." It should have sounded like an imperative command but it was a weak plea.

"Make me,"

I literally felt as my ability to reason and rationalize in a human manner vanished. Our eyes locked and I knew she knew what I now was but it was too late. Before she could register the movement I had changed our positions. I hovered over her, watching, and waiting like a cat who had cornered a mouse. I could see my manic reflection in her bright blue eyes. It wasn't something I had ever experienced since the year I was turned.

This was utterly invigorating, frightfully overwhelming, and liberating to the nth degree. I could see everything. The light drizzle that was minutes away, the scents of grass and wildflower, and a nearby stream. Mostly I was hyper aware of Sookie; her every breath, every dip and curve, her sweat, and the flush of her creamy skin. For the first time I saw streaks of a lighter blond in her hair. Sookie was more beautiful. Her skin was smooth and even in the night it glowed with the sun's warmth. Her blood smelled so much sweeter and I knew the taste would be mind blowing. I knew sex in this state would be the best I ever had despite never having done it before. I wanted it.

My hand shot out to feel that potent source of heat at her core but she closed her legs and scooted back. I snarled in warning.

It was met with a coy smile that in this state of mind I couldn't understand. "You don't scare me."

I could understand but speaking words seemed beyond me. There was no scent of fear, not that it would matter. I wanted what I wanted and she was going to give it to me. I pounced on her trying to claim the prize I so desperately needed. She fought me and her resistance was it's own tantalizing flavor.

It made me want more. Her nails scored my back, her teeth sank into my shoulder, and her heavy breaths tickled my ears. I let her fight until I couldn't anymore. My right hand was around her neck, my left held both her hands above her head, and with my knees I forced her legs apart. Her scream mixed with my fierce growl.

If ever another human found themselves with me in this state they would not live to tell of it. She would because she was mine. In this moment I was every bit the predator that no amount of time could change. I was unmediated, powerful, deadly and because I was in my element, I was infallible.

I wasn't on the hunt. I was mating. The urge to dominate was compulsive as was the need to keep her safe. My mate surrendered. She clung onto me as if she never wanted to let go. That was what I needed. In this moment she was mine and I wanted her to know it always.

"_God_!" she cried. "Eric…"

I wanted to drink, so very badly but I needed my mate to offer. I wanted her to feed me. I nuzzled her neck, she bared it for me, and guided my head to the throbbing artery. I felt the lush texture of her skin part under my fangs. First the tangy flavor of sweat heightened my hunger, and then I was overcome with the sweet nectar from her veins. It was the trembling and eruption of her body, the richer scent of her orgasm, and the potent taste of her blood called mine forth.

The little drizzle that I had scented in the air had turned into heavy rainfall. I watched from my warm bath as it cascaded over my window pane. My free hand was tracing errant patterns on Sookie's arm. I had flown us back to my house and it had been a surprise to her. She had never been. Now that she was here, it was where I wanted her.

We had taken a much needed shower. Afterward we settled into a hot bath but neither of us spoke had spoken a single word. I was beginning to think that us not speaking might be the way to go. There were times when a single look between us conveyed what words would have turned into a fight.

I'd washed her hair and she scrubbed my back. The silence had been beyond comfortable. It was hard to imagine how we could enjoy this much peace with each other then have blowouts that left me feeling damn near homicidal. I didn't like fighting with her. As the thought settled and that last bit of resistance at what I could have faded.

"We should get married," I said.

She did that snort thing, "While we're suggesting crazy ideas, let's go sunbathing and silver mining."

I ignored her jibe and stayed on topic. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. I wanted it more than I wanted to antagonize her.

"If you married me we would be together officially. It is what you want."

She repressed a sigh but I could practically see her eyes roll. "You don't know what I think and you only claim to know what I want when it goes hand in hand with what you want and what's best for you."

That was right and wrong. "I think you enjoy fighting with me."

"Wrong again, I don't enjoy fighting with anyone. I fight with you because you'd run my life if I didn't."

Her voice was a bit firmer. Tension was creeping into her lax posture. She wasn't irritated yet, it was more like she was getting ready to be if you know what I mean. I let it go until we were settled in bed, she was wrapped comfortably in my arms and was on the brink of sleep. It was the perfect time for an offensive attack.

"I don't attempt to run your life," I told her. It was as if over an hour hadn't passed since the last dialogue on the matter. "I want to share it."

Sookie groaned long and hard.

"Aw...Eric, baby, please. Give it a rest. I'm exhausted."

Good. "Then don't talk, just listen."

It had to be the late hour because she simply huffed her acceptance and huddled against my side.

"I do want the best for you. I will still want that even at great personal sacrifice but, of course, I will avoid that if I can. That is why I do what I do, so we both have what is best, so neither has to sacrifice much in being together."

"Typical," She muttered. "Wants to have his cake and eat it too."

I shrugged. "To me that is not a bad thing. Neither is making sure you are safe."

"Because if I die on your watch Sophie-Anne will skin you."

"My not wanting to get skinned isn't the only reason I would care that you were hurt. It was just another one. I love you but yes, that is also true. You are a target and your relationship with me makes you even more so. As things are, my rights to you are limited and I can't defend you fully. Tradition and law aren't on my side. If we married that would change."

"So you'll marry me just like that," She replied. "Because me being your wife is strategically better."

I nodded knowing it wasn't what she wanted to hear. "Yes, but that is not to say marriage means nothing to me. In fact, vampires take it deathly serious. If you were my wife, no one could touch you without risking war with me and, in that case, my Queen would have to back me. I would be in the right with any means I used to defend you. We would be together as I want, as we both want."

For a long minute she looked at me. It was one of those rare moments where I could see her face but couldn't read her emotion. I didn't know if she was insulted, stunned, or pleased. Normally I would leave it and let her find what I meant but I wanted this too much.

"I want more than that," I added.

The only thing that would keep me from marrying her was if it caused harm. This was the opposite. It gave us a much needed advantage.

"I want you to live here with me. I want to wake to your face and hear the beat of your heart as the sun rises. I want to take care of you and provide for you like a man should."

"This isn't about me being a telepath or you wanting to tell me who I can hang out with?"

It didn't warrant a second thought. "No. If you are my wife, it would stifle the worst of my jealousy. You would be mine, officially, and I would be yours."

I didn't have to tell her I loved her. It was the only thing that was understood between us. It didn't need spelling out. It was everything else. Her lips formed a lazy smile that turned into a soft kiss on my chest. That single gesture told me she was saying yes.

Sookie fell asleep and I had an hour or so before sunrise. I wanted to stay in bed but I fingers itched. Eventually I gave into the urge and went in search of my sketch pad. I'd expected to take it down to my day chamber and let my mind run until the sun pulled me under. That didn't happen. I got out of bed and with one look at my very soon to be wife I knew what forced me from her warmth. I wanted to epitomize this moment.

She was sprawled in bed. Nudity, seduction and sensuality were evident in the way she was displayed. Every arc and dip of her upper body called to me. She looked like the sated lover she was. Her hair and the sheets were mussed from sleep and a night of love making but it made her more appealing. The covers were tangled at her feet but she looked somewhat fretful. It wasn't a nightmare.

Soft brush strokes and the mix of colors needed flew against the canvas without my guidance. For every part of her I captured I had the feel, scent, and sound to go with it ingrained in my body. Her head was resting on her left arm but her right seemed to be searching for something, for me. The portrait evolved from just one of her. It captured the emptiness on my side of the bed. It caught the window and fading of the moon, explained my absence. That was probably the first painting I ever finished. It was perfect. It was us.

I kissed her and left it out for her to see. This wasn't something many people knew about me but I wanted her to know. I wasn't disappointed. I woke to her in my day chamber with me.

"I don't look that graceful when I sleep," She said to me.

"Sleeping with me does wonders," I replied with a grin.

She tried not to smile but lost. "You're lucky I love your arrogant ass," She said, crawling on top of me.

Of course I knew but having her finally admit it made all the fights worth it. "I love that you love me," was my cool reply. "And I love you."

Sookie and I married a few days later. It was a simple ceremony. Blood was used in place of rings and vows in vampire weddings. I gave my wife a large diamond despite her protests. It wasn't for her, per se. It was more for the men who chased her. They were free to chase after what was mine but it was at their own risk, and they couldn't say they hadn't been warned.


	21. Chapter 21

**A/N: I had a birthday on the 8th. Mother's Day is on Sunday the 11th. I cleaned house! I am now the owner of a brand new laptop. It's touch screen people! Touch. Screen. No. It doesn't work wonders for my writing, but boy is it cool!**

**I want to thank any and everyone that voted me, my stories and my Beta Ms. Buffi in the SVM/TB awards. Hopefully we win! That would be too cool! I will keep you all posted! **

* * *

**Sookie**

**Chapter 21**

**Life as I know it**

The dreams of the little girl and voice in the shadows were occurring almost nightly now. They were beginning to sometimes make me fight sleep. In this latest manifestation, the wind was howling and whipping but I just kept walking the ledge watching the same two people.  
"You are not afraid?" The voice asked the little girl.

In the dream I wasn't a telepath. I couldn't pinpoint exactly where the speaker was but I saw the little girl. She was eerily familiar even if I couldn't see her face. She was on the opposite side of the rooftop wearing a lilac dress with her hair so perfectly coiffed that the wind didn't dare tousle it.

"Fear is not an option, not for me," She replied. I wanted to assume that she was cocky or arrogant but she sounded as though she was stating a scientific fact; the sky is blue, grass is green, I am awesome. Then she jumped from the roof!

I woke up screaming with my hands outstretched trying to catch an imaginary child who was no doubt falling to her death. Fortunately, the sun had risen and Eric was dead for the day. I was terrified, and knew I wouldn't never have ever begun how to explain such a thing.

I had no idea why the dreams continued to affect me this way after all this time. Then again, I never had the exact same dream. It was as if there was an endless supply of material. During my sessions with Dr. Wexler I had more dream material than I could sort through. It wasn't helping.

He suggested that I take a trip to one of his affiliated hospitals. The closest was in California. The vampire red tape around that was more than I was willing to explain. I continued working with him from the farmhouse in Bon Temps. Nothing I dreamed of had anything to do with my reality no matter how much the doctor tried to help. It wasn't adding up. I was starting to feel broken.

I did a last minute check of things for our trip. I cleaned and had done a load of laundry, but when I finally fell asleep, I had the same exact dream. It was the same little girl whose face I couldn't see doing things she shouldn't. The voice was always there. It was always calm, always controlled, and always instructive. It was in the wind and I couldn't even glimpse the owner.

I had hoped and prayed for so long that my memories would return. I would have taken any tidbit, subconscious or otherwise, but I didn't want this. I rolled over and jotted down as much of the details as I could remember even though I was scared. I couldn't avoid this even if I couldn't understand it. What made my fear worse was that I felt this dream could ruin my reality.

In the beginning it had helped. It made me feel as if any day I might have some kind of breakthrough. I was still a blank slate and the disappointment was a heavy weight on my very soul. Once I finished writing, I stayed still and didn't move for a good half hour. I lay on my back, fiddling with the ring on my finger, and looking at Eric's side of the bed.

I'd only been married for two months but I knew I would never get used to the idea. It wasn't a negative thought. It was like having everything I wanted, well almost everything I amended sadly. I thought it was greedy to expect both the man I wanted and the return of my memory. There was time to wallow in my depression. I had a session with Doctor Wexler. I also had to stop at the pet store.

Two hours later I was arguing with Tina.

"Come on," I begged. "It's got all kinds of neat toys inside."

She meowed in what I took as defiance and didn't come down from the tree. I huffed in defeat. If I'd known that her reaction to a crate would have been so unfavorable, I wouldn't have bought one. On the other hand, it explained why I didn't have one.

It wasn't just that Tina was an outdoor cat, she seemed to have an attitude and mind all her own. She still didn't like anyone, my husband especially. He liked to throw a sheet over her and laugh as she wrestled with it. It was mean but, in his defense, she clawed him something awful the night he came to help me move most of my things to his house. Since then I'd been trying to get her to the house in Shreveport but she wouldn't have it.

I had friends in Bon Temps. I still worked for Sam, but the house in Shreveport was my home. The farmhouse was where I had my sessions with the Doctor. It was also where Tina was and was refusing to leave. God! If I didn't know better I would have thought she was a shifter bum masquerading as a house cat for free room and board! Of course she wasn't. She was just a cat who was feeling abandoned and territorial.

I could dip Eric in cream and I didn't think it would change the way her reaction. Eric dipped in cream was irresistible… That thought warmed me up while I was out in the cold trying to coax a cat down from a tree. I took my mind out of the gutter and focused on the task at hand.

"Eric isn't all that bad," I offered. "I just think you guys got off on the wrong foot."

That foot was amputated as far as she was concerned. She sniffed and stretched on the thick branch where she'd perched herself.

"Suit yourself!" I told her. "I'm cutting it close for my meeting with Doctor Wexler anyhow."

Her ears perked up at the name of one of the only people she liked other than Terry, Bill, or me but she still wasn't coming down. If she was stuck in that tree, then she was going to remain stuck until after my appointment. I was able to let my irritation pull me away because I knew she would be fine. I walked back to the house with her carrier in hand.

I was still hidden in the cover of the woods surrounding the farmhouse when I saw his car. As always his mind was full of whatever song he was listening was on his car radio. I laughed to myself as the lyrics to Britney Spears, "Baby One More Time," ran through his head. They were as loud as I assumed the volume of the stereo was.

One of the things Eric helped me learn about myself before we got married was that I loved to dance. Dr. Wexler had great taste in music in my opinion. Just about everything I'd heard in his mind as he drove to the house was a favorite of mine.

Obviously I'd heard some of them before because they were too popular for me to not have. Still, I heard them, was repeatedly tapping my feet, and reciting lyrics before I was even conscious of it. I needed to share it with him because I knew it was major but…how could I? He didn't know I was a telepath and I couldn't tell him.

Dr. Wexler looks like something from a Rockwell painting. He depicted the classic well-to-do American man. The creases in his pants looked sharp enough to cut. His light grey pea coat coordinated with his knitted skull cap and scarf. His mind was just as neat. There was a ring on his finger but whenever he was here he never thought of anything else but me. If I wasn't a telepath I wouldn't know how hard that was. I guess that was what made him great at his job. Whenever I stumbled into his head it was always filled with medical terms and how they applied to what we were discussing.

"Where's Tina?" He asked as he got out of the car.

He sounded genuinely disappointed.

"Out there somewhere so she wouldn't be in here." I answered, waving the carrier.

We walked into the house. Since he had so kindly agreed to help and follow my recovery, we had found a routine. He went into the living room to set up his multitude of papers and exams masked as games. I went into the kitchen to first put the carrier away, and then I hung up our coats.

I got our tea and returned to where he was waiting. "How are the exercises coming along?" He asked.

'Bridge Exercises' were the only homework I had with the sessions. I had to do them six times a day, seven days a week. It sounded like a great deal but it wasn't. I just had to think of my day and categorize all the things that happened. When we had our session, Dr. Wexler would ask and I needed to be able to recite my day's in short concise sentences.

For instance, I spilled my coffee on Monday, so I was late for work. Tina came in to eat on Tuesday night. She wouldn't let me leave nor would she come with me until I gave her warm milk. I went to the bank on Wednesday. I even started going to church on Sundays because it filled that day with things other than my dreams.

"I haven't been able to do them as we discussed."

It crossed my mind to lie to him but I wanted to get better at being in my own head.

"I see," He said.

That was one of the things I enjoyed about my sessions with Dr. Wexler. He didn't make me feel as if I wasn't taking this seriously despite how little I was doing. He also didn't poke or pry about things that could get us both killed. No one had to tell me not to go blabbing about what I saw or knew about vampire and their politics; not to mention shifters, Weres, and the daemons. Even if I did, I was pretty sure he would chalk it up to my head trauma.

Regardless, I knew to keep that secret the same as I knew to keep my telepathy secret, even from the doctor. It wouldn't hurt my progress. I still felt guilty. There was one thing I didn't have to hide from him and I didn't.

"I got married," I blurted out. "Well, it's not yet legal in human law. He's a vampire."

His mind went blank and so did his face. It was such a comical expression that I couldn't help but laugh.

"I should have eased into that," I offered.

It was difficult though. We talked about me but, not my life, just me as an amnesiac woman. It was all medical and focused on my mind, not my life. He didn't want to pry I supposed, but that part of my life was huge.

"Congratulations," He said. "…so how is that going?"

I laughed but this time I could feel that goofy expression that thinking of Eric brought to my face. Being just lovers had been hard because of the distance he placed between us. I'd told myself it was what I wanted too. He was a vampire Sheriff. There was no chance of it ever being just me and him; things were already complicated enough.

His walking away sounded as if it was a great solution until it actually happened, and then it had been hell. Worst of all were the times I did see him and things never went as I wanted, mainly because it was only work-related issues that brought him around. I resented it and, admittedly, I resented hm. Yet here I was. Being married to Eric was everything I never dreamed. It was so much easier than the grey area where we had been living.

I talked to Dr. Wexler about life as a married woman because he was my doctor and I could. I also wanted to show him that I was building a life without fear of my lost memories. It had been over a year and I had accepted there was a chance that was as far back as my memory might go. That thought no longer filled me with panic and despair. I had a life and new memories, and I was rebuilding.

Sam wasn't happy that I'd married a vampire. Bill was also frowny-faced but he was less vocal. Pam didn't approve of me. It bothered me though I knew it shouldn't. I didn't think any vampire in the Area was happy about having to regard any human with more respect than I looked at my chicken dinner.

"You seem very happy," He concluded.

Again, that idiotic grin took over and a blush colored my cheeks "I am," I told him, glowing with the truth.

"Is your husband supportive of your treatment plan?" He asked.

I chuckled. "In his own way." He waited for me to elaborate and I did the best I could.

To someone who didn't know Eric it would sound as though he didn't care. That wasn't at all the case. He had a talent for simplifying things which offered its own form of support.

"He doesn't think people change no matter how old they are or how hard they may have hit their head. I'm still me. I just have to make new memories."

He nodded thoughtfully but didn't say anything more on the topic. "We will try something new," He said. "Instead of your waking moments we will attempt to categorize your dreams. Are they still the same?"

"Yes and no," I said. "The scenery, the weather, the clothes, the context of conversation is always different. I can barely keep track of them but the same two people are always there in some way, shape, or form; the little girl and the voice in the dark. I can't see either of them. Do you think the little girl is me?"

He shrugged. "Maybe," He said.

The thought terrified me and I can't alter or justify the emotion. "She couldn't be." I told him. "She's always in big houses, or somewhere ornate and luxurious but that's not how I grew up. So they can't be memories, right?"

He didn't argue with me. He asked me the same question he always did. "What do you think?"

That was more annoying than I would ever care to say. I could spin each dream I told him about a thousand different ways and he would just nod and asked what I thought about my own confusing, and increasingly frightening dreams.

I wanted him to have all the answers. I knew it was impossible and unfair to land him with that responsibility, but I hoped for it all the same. He was the expert! How the hell was I supposed to know anything that was going on with my spotty memory? These dreams weren't about me. I don't why I kept having them. I was in Nowhere, USA. There must be some other explanation. Too much television was my vote. There was no way the opulent surroundings had been my reality in any lifetime, ever.

"I don't know," I told him.

He nodded, "That's okay."

I knew he was placating me but, again, I didn't call him on it. He wasn't going to give up on me so I wasn't going to give up either.

"I have been keeping pretty good logs," I offered.

I handed the latest journal over to him. He flipped through it and murmured to himself. I knew when he got to the part about the little girl jumping off the roof.

"That's new," He commented calmly.

"Do you mind if I take this with me for review?" He asked. "I will return them during our next session."

I nodded, "Sure." There was nothing private in them.

After we scheduled our next appointment, he was gone and so was I. I needed to pack. I hadn't had an assignment take me out of Louisiana since Mississippi, but somehow I felt like a seat at divorce court between two vampire royals might be much, much worse. As with everything pertaining to vampire shit, I wanted left out as much as possible. I didn't want to go and I didn't want Eric to go. The one thing I've learned with vampires was that you can't always get what you want. Trust me, I've tried.


	22. Chapter 22

**Chapter ****22**

**A Queen Trumps a King**

**Sookie**

André was looking exceptionally creepy and spectral this evening. He was in a white tux that made him look all of twelve-years old. He scared me on a personal level. I couldn't explain it. He might look like a pre-teen but he was the kind of kid who liked the pull the wings off flies for shits and giggles. The first time I ever set eyes on him; my first thought was that someone should draw a mustache on his face. It might not have helped him look older but it would make him look less unsettling.

The Louisiana vampires entered the ballroom from the left. Peter and his people came in from the right. Then they met in the middle at tables bearing the crests of their respective states; a thorned rose bush with a snake under it for Sophie-Anne and a river otter for Peter. No one sat and I was one of the few who looked toward the doors when they opened. Three identical looking women were leading in an older one who was clearly blind. Blind as she was, she moved with the fluidity inherent to all the undead.

This was The Ancient Pythoness or Judge Dead as I called her. Admittedly calling her aids assistants might not be accurate. They looked more like worshipers if not devoted slaves. Their hairstyles were matching right down to the spit curl as were the bangles that bound their wrists and arms. Even the way they walked was in tune. Their long velvety skirts swished and swung in the same way.

When the Ancient Pythoness sat, both sides followed suit. Sid "The Criminal" Lancaster, the attorney, spoke on Sophie-Anne's behalf, and then Peter's lawyer did the same. I'd been in Mr. Lancaster's mind once because the Queen demanded it. Let me put it like this, if given a choice of Thalia's company or his, I would choose Thalia. He was just plain depraved. That was probably why he got on so well with most vampires. What a human called "depraved," they called "useful". Then again humans called me a freak, so here we were.

Papers were passed from our side to a scribe who delivered it to opposing counsel. Witnesses came in to testify. It was like "The Never Ending Story." It should feel like a refreshing change but it was slightly more painful. It wasn't that I preferred all hell breaking loose around me. I honestly didn't. but I will attest that the only thing that might be worse than vampires fighting around me was vampires amidst their bureaucratic bullshit.

"Now we will hear from the claimant," The Ancient Pythoness declared.

Peter rose to his feet, bowed his head respectfully, and then proceeded to lie out of his ass. "This matter is simple. My wife insists that I increase her monthly stipend but she does not meet the requirements for this request per the marriage contracts. Yet, I am a generous husband. I am willing to consider this to please her but she refuses me the one little thing I ask in return."

"Queen Sophie-Anne," The Pythoness asked. "What say you?"

"He wants the use of my telepath which I will allow him at a discounted rate. He wants joint ownership of her." She said, waving in my general direction.

At this point, I was used to most vampires talking at me and about me like I wasn't bothered in the least. What I have learned was that they really meant no offense. They said human the way I said colors. In addition, it wasn't as if I didn't know the situation. I was too bored to pretend to be offended.

"This is not possible, not because I am not amendable but because the telepath is the wife of a sheriff. I have petitioned him to allow this and he has refused as is his right. So what else am I to do? Surely my husband does not mean for me to violate our most sacred law to appease him and I am confident that the court will not allow him to punish me for abiding the law."

Jade Flower, the ever-morose spoke. "No one is punishing you," She said. Her tone indicated, 'Not yet, at least.' Just like that, the atmosphere went from uninteresting to hostile.

"The next person to speak out of turn, loses a limb," The Pythoness warned. "Will the sheriff reconsider?" She asked as if she didn't just threaten an entire room.

"No," Eric said. "My wife belongs with me."

The Pythoness looked at me. Her eyes were clouded with a milky film; it kept me from seeing what color they were. It didn't matter because I felt like she was seeing into me. My heart began thumping and I could feel my stomach flip. I got the feeling that she was considering going Old Testament, just cutting me in half.

Eric threw his arm around me in a casual but super possessive gesture and that was that. Sophie-Anne had to find another way to appease her husband because mine wasn't letting me go. I knew that made things harder for her but I would be lying if I said I cared. I knew how Sophie-Anne viewed me. If she could send me off to Peter she would, yet I knew the decisions she made still had consequences for me and Eric.

"Since a decision cannot be reached amongst the regents," The ancient vampire began. "I have no choice but to dissolve the union as requested by Peter Threadgill, King of Arkansas. He will be required to pay the fees for terminating the union. Sophie-Anne will refund her yearly alimony payments for this current and past year as well as all wedding gifts. That is my ruling. It will be official tomorrow."

By the looks on both of their faces, both regents were vastly displeased with the ruling and they seemed to blame me. It wasn't just my imagination or the way Eric held me tighter. Both the minty green orbs of Sophie-Anne's beady eyes were narrowed to slits as were Peter's insipid brown ones.

The room emptied. It was less of a procession. Peter and his entourage left first followed several minutes after by the Ancient Pythoness and her robed worshipers. I was with a room full of vampires while their queen continued her glaring. I wondered what was more dangerous; being dismissed from this situation with Peter's people lurking behind the doors or in here with Sophie-Ann and her progenies. Eric squeezed my hand. Not only did I want to be where he was, I knew that it was what was safest for me, for the both of us, especially at this moment.

"Leave us," The Queen said.

Sid Lancaster left. His speed was impressive because he beat four other vampires to the door. The potbellied daemon followed after a fleeting side glance at me.

"You need to give her to Peter." André said without preamble.

"I am a sheriff. I deal with the aftermath of my Queen's conflicts. I have no say in them" Eric said. "I was not brought in when the union was being made; I should not have to shoulder any of the burden now that it is at its end."

"I cannot afford it." The Queen said, rubbing her face.

I don't know how I know, but I know that this is news to Eric. "What do you mean when you say, you cannot afford it?"

She shrugged and opened her palms out to him in a show of capitulation or 'duh'. "We all have our vices; my gambling habits have cost me my net worth, save thirty thousand or so."

"Twenty six thousand and fifty dollars to be precise," André inserted.

My mouth is hanging slightly open. How in the hell was she broke? She was older than the country she lived in. It was true that she lived lavishly but that didn't explain it, not even close. On the heels of my speculations came my worry.

Being broke if you were human was bad, for a vampire royal it was a death sentence. If anyone found out about this, she was facing a very literal and very hostile takeover. She had to pay her guards, her day people, her human donors, and her telepath for that matter.

"Go to the room," Eric said, turning to me. He sounded calm but I saw the worry he tried to hide and heard the caution in his tone. "I will be a while."

I rose to my feet without another word. The route I took to the room was the most direct, most well lit, public path I could manage. It didn't keep Peter away. He was loitering around the elevators with just Jade Flower. My God, that girl had scowling down to a science! The only way to avoid them was to turn toward the stairs or out the door. I did neither. I walked right around him and pushed the call button for the elevator.

"We have never been properly introduced," He said, holding his hand out.

I nodded my head deeply and even added a curtsy, sad though it was. "I figure there is a good reason for that." The fact that he wanted to enslave me was one of them.

He returned my nod and withdrew his hand smoothly as if I hadn't left him hanging. "A true ruler is one whose hold is light yet unbreakable, whose will is undeniable. They are born, Ms. Stackhouse not made." He said. "You should consider the caliber of the ruler your husband has attached his and your lives."

Then he was gone. I watched him and his people go into the main atrium of the restaurant. The elevator came, I climbed into it and I was still watching them.

I waited in the room for Eric. I waited and waited but he didn't show. I changed into my sweats and sat in the entry way of the room to wait. It was the least comfortable so even if by some miracle I could fall asleep, I wouldn't sleep long. I would be lying if I said I presumed the interlude of quiet I had in my brief marriage would last long. I just didn't know it would be this scary or this painful when it was over.

If we were home, Eric and I would be making love until I was a sated mass of woman beside him. I sat there with the lights dimmed wondering… What now? All the while Peter's words were echoing in my head though I knew they shouldn't. They would do as much good as poison. Still I couldn't shake them. It didn't end in an, 'or else,' still it was an undeniable threat. I didn't realize when I nodded off. I came to when I heard the door to the hotel room slam shut.

"If she doesn't leave, none of you will." I knew the voice but not the ferocity behind it.

That was Eric. I blinked and our hotel room was full of vampires. No one had turned the lights on so I was left with my eyes straining in the dark. They were the Louisiana vampires. The only ones I knew were Thalia and Pam, both of whom hadn't traveled here with us. A few others were huddled in the corner attending to moaning, disfigured body. There was so much blood that it was all I could smell. I saw amounts of entrails and the poor creature was missing a leg. I sat up just as Eric appeared in front of me.

"I need to go to New Orleans with them," He said. As he was talking he was pulling me to my feet and shrugging a light jacket over my shoulders, being sure to leave my hair underneath. That meant we were going to fly. "Pam and Thalia will escort you back home. Stay in Shreveport."

"We can use her!" someone growled.

I wasn't sure what it said about that person that no one paid him any mind. Eric was moving away and Thalia, the tiny ancient vampire, was at my side but I refused to let go of Eric's hand. "We should stay together," I said. "They could all come back to Shreveport." Well, minus the one who had spoken out about selling me out. He could stay; the ass.

He smiled and it was so out of place in this chaotic and dangerous scene that instead of reassuring me, it terrified me. "The house isn't big enough," He replied. He cupped my face in one hand, kissed me softly, and gently pulled his hand away. "I'll be home soon."

He turned to Thalia and all I caught was the tail end of a nod, and then the sudden howling of the wind. The air was cold and biting on my bare feet and legs. We flew for an hour, maybe less but I no longer felt the weather.

Who was that butchered creature on the floor? Where was Sophie-Anne? What could have happened? Sure the situation between Peter and Sophie-Anne had been tense, dangerously so. I would even say that it was timed to blow but I was also told that violence around the Pythoness wasn't done. Maybe it only applied to her immediate presence? Obviously her being in the same hotel wasn't enough to stop them.

I noticed when I started getting warm again. The pain in my jaw from my teeth chattering eased and the goose bumps on my legs became less visible. We were now in a car taking the familiar exit off a familiar highway. Thalia was nowhere in sight. Then again, from what I'd been told about her it was to be expected. A part of me hoped that she had gone to where Eric was but I knew that wasn't the case.

"You would know if Eric wasn't alright." I said to Pam.

I got a stiff nod. That was pretty standard in our interactions. Pam didn't like me; trying to figure out would be a waste of my energy. Interacting with her in the beginning had been difficult. First I'd resented her, then I'd been jealousy of her, and now I tried but she gave me nothing with which to work. Tonight, I could care less.

"What happened?" I asked.

Her fists clenched the steering wheel and her eyes narrowed ever so much. "Jennifer Cater is Peter's lieutenant. She baited André. He attacked her. It turned into a brawl. That was him on your hotel room floor. She played him. He wasn't the target. In the chaos of their fight Peter and his people entered Sophie-Anne's floor. Seigebert is the only survivor and he was in too many pieces to count."

The cold was back except this time I felt every bit of it in my heart. "So that means…"

"No," She interrupted. "André is the clear successor and he has Eric's backing and personal support."

"The State is broke," I pointed out. "How can…"

Again she interrupted me. "Barring any major shifts, Eric has the funds to bankroll the State at least until André heals. Then André can sue Peter and when he does, he will win."

Vampires were big on reparations; they put a price on life, all life, even the life of people they loved. If Pam was so sure then that meant Peter and his people would do anything to ensure he would never have his day in court. That alone meant Eric was facing more danger than I thought.

I wanted to ask Pam why she wasn't with him. She might have to run the Area in Eric's absence if I wasn't here, and then Thalia could be with him. Between Eric's telekinetic abilities and her age they would both be much safer. This plan to save us all by saving André might not sound so dangerous.

I didn't ask the question. I already knew the answer. It was also the same reason why she never liked me. Faced with the grim situation I couldn't say I blamed her. All I could think of was that Eric had called for his two best fighters to his side in a dangerous situation only to send them away with me. I didn't feel loved though I knew that was what drove the action, I felt like I'd tied one hand behind his back while he was in a fight. He was strong but he was my husband and he was in enemy territory.

Pam drove me to the house in Shreveport but she didn't leave. She went into Eric's office and I went to bed. I listened to her talk on the phone and then just before dawn she went to his day chamber. It was until sunrise that I let my tears fall and worry take over. For the first time, I had a nightmare that didn't involve the little girl and the voice in the shadow. This one was so horrible that it made me miss them.

No, in this dream I was alone in a white room with the battered, butchered body of André except it wasn't André, it was Eric. It was my husband that was trying to hold his intestines in his body. It was my Eric that was missing a leg. It was the man I loved that was bathed in his own blood and groaning in agony. It was my fault. I was awake and screaming for a full ten seconds before reality broke through the terror.

Even if I had it in me to leave the house that afternoon, I knew I shouldn't. I didn't have to worry about work because I was supposed to be off for the rest of the week. I had also asked Terry to take care of Tina for me. I didn't have a session with Doctor Wexler. There was nothing for me to do but pace the house with nothing for company but my anxiety.

I gave up on the television after lunch. By three I had given up a book. Instead I went to Eric's den. It doubled as his work space. There were tons of binders and books and rolled canvases that he had painted, touched with his hands and given life. I remembered finding him in here the night after I agreed to marry him.

It wasn't a room I'd ever been in. It had been more than a little surprising to see him hovering arm's length from the floor with a canvas under him. I was trying to sneak up on him though it was impossible. He let me think I'd succeeded. I watched his creation over his shoulder and it literally stole my breath. Soft brush strokes and the mix of colors captured me. My head was resting on my left arm but my right seemed to be searching for something for him. The portrait wasn't just of me. It captured the emptiness on Eric's side of the bed. It caught the window and the fading of the moon light, explained his absence but somehow it closed the distance between night and day.

"There is no way I look that graceful when I sleep," I told him.

He had turned to me with that shit eating grin that stole my heart. "Sleeping with me does wonders."

I snorted derisively. "You're lucky I love you, you arrogant ass."

I wasn't ashamed that he had his way with me. That coupling had been like the man himself, possessive, loving, caring, and dominating. He took my body and made it his in every way. My fingers had entwined with his. Our lips didn't go long without seeking contact. His rhythm told me I had forever with him and this was just the beginning. When he looked at me like that it made a past I couldn't remember mean so little.


	23. Chapter 23

**Chapter ****23**

**A Dream Dies**

**Sookie**

I ran out of the room being careful to close the door. Being anywhere in the world was better than being in a room holding such an intimate memory. Then again, Eric and I had made love in every room in this house from the garage to the top of the stairs and every room in between. I couldn't let myself think about that. I needed to focus on something, anything, else.

That was how I found myself in front of the television again, as pitiful a distraction as it was. I was zoning in and out but when the commercial came on, I saw it and knew that 'shift' Pam had told me would change our fate for the worse was now a reality.

At first I thought I was just looking at a different brand of bottled blood but this was so much more:

The woman in the commercial is stunning. If her smooth pale skin wasn't a tell then the peek of fang was an indicator; she is vampire. With the shape of her pouty lips and smile, she actually made fangs look like something benign.

She's rested against the wall of a dimly lit ballroom. You saw people around her but with her looks you couldn't even begin to care. There was a brightly colored bottle in her hand. Even the manner in which she held the bottle made you wonder about its contents though you already knew. It was blood but there was no red to see under the fine plum label.

She was made for the cameras and by her stick frame, lustrous mane, and perfect teeth I knew she had only ever known the best of care. By the way she posed, moved, or even stood still, it was apparent she had modeled for a long time. I wouldn't be surprised if she had been turned just for this campaign.

"Variety is the spice of life," she says with a winning smile. "Drink up my friends." Then she sashays into the club and seems to be the life of the party.

The voiceover announces the product as, "Night Light," and goes on to say, "Made for vampires by vampires."

Aside from the plum colored bottle there are three others; blue, green and orange. They were all different flavors. Flavors! I saw the commercial and the hype that followed. The vampire haters had their say, political figures had theirs. The only people who were absent were vampires. It told me one thing. Not many of them had known about this.

On the elegant label on the bottle was the mark of Peter's rule, the river otter. Humans would ignore it as just a marking stamp but any vampire anywhere would know that the King of Arkansas was soon to be a very wealthy vampire. That much money would get him anything, including the loyalty of those who had once given it to Sophie-Anne or Eric.

The television shut off and I saw Pam behind me remote in hand. "Fangtasia awaits," She said.

She didn't say what this new development meant and I didn't ask. I, too, wanted to pretend that the sky wasn't falling. That was my routine for the week. I was trapped in the house during the day and when night came I went to Fangtasia with Pam. Each night Pam was able to reassure me that Eric was fine but that was all. He didn't call and I knew it was because he couldn't. I didn't care if he was gone for years. I didn't want him to worry about me. I just wanted him to take of himself and come back.

I did all I could to pretend that there wasn't a hole. I went to Fangtasia. I even took up waitressing there. I was stuck at Pam's side; I might as well make myself useful. It was hard. There wasn't something wrong with people that were curious about vampires but there was just something wrong with many of the people who came to the bar. There was nothing I wanted more than to stay out of their minds but my shields were weak.

The combination of nightmares, stress, insomnia, and long workdays were making my mental shields weaker. My headaches were horrible. I couldn't even nap anymore without the dreams. I was now dreaming of Eric being tortured and the little girl. I was starting to feel trapped inside them. I was afraid that one day I would wake up and the dream would become my reality. I could barely sleep anymore. I'd taken to passing out from sheer exhaustion every thirty or so hours. Tonight was no different.

I fell into an exhausted sleep but it didn't take long for the dream to form. In this dream, the little girl was crying except she wasn't quite so little. She was a teenager now, alone in the icy rain and whipping winds. What stuck out more was that instead of being huddled against the wind and rain, her face was turned toward it. I wasn't even sure how I'd known she was crying. I just knew that she was. I found myself searching for the voice in the shadows. It was always there, instructing, coaching, andwatching. He should be there with her. I searched and searched and finally found him.

I still couldn't see his face but it was now more than a shadow. It was a man dressed in a neatly cut linen suit. In his hand was a huge gulf umbrella. It kept him dry but it might not have been necessary. He stood apart as if the elements of this world could never touch him. I saw all that but still not a face. I wanted to move closer but my feet felt glued in place and my eyes were wide open.

The girl still didn't turn away from the rain but she sensed the presence and began speaking. "I loved him," the girl said. Her voice was cool, steady. "And I wanted him to love me back."

"Pain is a checkpoint of reality," He said. There is no hint of sympathy for her pain. "Those who are gifted must bear a heavier cross. Even then, they must pity the people who fear them, be wary of those who hate them, never forgive those who hurt them. and above all else, never forget or forsake a single soul who loved them."

I wanted him to go to her and make her feel better or at least share his umbrella. He didn't. She turned to face him and there was nothing to indicate that she wanted that. The only thing I could see between the tendrils of hair that hid her face was pain that hadn't shown in the crispness of her voice. That worried me because I had grown to associate her with strength. She was awesome and she knew it but even without seeing all of her, I knew that something was broken in her.

"What about you?" She asked. "Do you ever hurt? Do you suffer like that?"

"Like me, you only ask questions to which you already know the answer," He replied. "So, tell me what you know to be true."

She didn't say a thing. She ran from her place on the cold wet ground and into his arms. I couldn't see anymore because I was about to wake up. I knew I was because the scene was being bathed in light. I didn't know if the man in the shadows was happy at the embrace. I didn't know if he minded her dirtying his white shirt but as I woke I heard his words of comfort.

"One day, my love you will be a Queen without rival," He murmured. "You will inspire fear, respect, loyalty, and those who do not have your love will despair."

I was still sitting in bed processing my dream when I noticed my nose had started bleeding again. Before I could even get up to get a fresh cloth, I heard an indistinguishable voice say, "Is that why tampons were invented?"

I looked up from the bed to see Pam, Thalia, and Clancy.

They were just dropping to say 'Howdy Do' while they just happened to be armed to gills and dressed in several shades of black and leather.

"Louisiana has fallen," Pam said blandly. "Put on your best dress. Chances are you'll die in it."

What Pam said should have resonated with me on a deeper level. In fact, my nose bleed should have been getting some attention but none of that mattered.

"Where is Eric?" I asked.

No one said anything. My head felt like it was in an increasingly tightening vise and my heart was in my stomach. The silence made it all worse. I had to admit in all the time I'd spent with my fanged fellows, theirs were expressions I didn't understand. No one wanted to look at me but it was as though they didn't want to not to look at me either. The uncertainty of what that could mean made fear I didn't know was possible settle into my bones. It took my voice and edged it in steel. It was commanding and lethal.

"Where is my husband?" I repeated.

Pam did come closer to inspect my face. She turned it this way, then that. Maybe she was looking for a handprint or a bruise but there wasn't one. When she was satisfied she put that standard vampire distance between us.

"Pam," I said."Where is he?"

"I don't know," She said. "Get dressed."

Then she walked out with me staring stupidly after her. I don't know why it was chosen but we retreated to my little farmhouse. If vampires were coming to kill me, it was the total opposite of what I would have done. I would go somewhere crowded and public. Hell, I would even try calling Ghostbusters. Then again, I wasn't a vampire.

I called Eric knowing he wouldn't answer but taking the lack of response as a good sign. He seldom answered my phone calls. He just appeared. I guess that was what I was wishing for in this crisis. It didn't happen and I had to do something else to keep from screaming out in frustration.

I had tea. That wasn't exactly true. I made tea with meticulous steps and just stared into the shallow cup once it was finished. The ripples in the cups slowed and I refused to disturb them. In the murky liquid I saw a muddled reflection. It was that of a wife who was terrified of losing her husband.

"I have always found you to be interesting," Pam said without preamble.

I looked up from my cup and she was standing across from me as if she had always been. She never liked nor approved of me so her words were more than a little shocking.

"You are so much trouble, but that is part of your allure. I see that now."

This was the most she has ever spoken to me directly. It was definitely the first time she was giving me a compliment. Eric had told me that despite her frosty disposition toward me, I could trust her with my life because he trusted her with his. I had come to count on that.

We both loved Eric and would do anything for him and that was enough glue for our relationship. I saw a different side of Pam. She wasn't just a second in command that had the weight of an entire Area on her back, she was a vampire that was in danger of losing her Maker. I would never use the word vulnerable because despite her dainty shoulders and perfect posture she would rip the head off anyone who looked at her wrong right now. Still I saw…something. I would call it grim acceptance of a hopeless and unavoidable fate.

"I might have grown quite fond of you."

I was suddenly and inexplicably furious. I had learned to accept that we wouldn't have girls' nights out and mall trips. For her to spring this heart to heart on me now was pure bullshit.

"Why are you telling me this now?" I asked. "What does it matter? You think Eric is gone so you want to offer sisterly love? Well, you can shove it."

"No," she said. "I kept my distance from you all this time because Eric could not and for all our sakes someone had to.He could not help his mating with you."

That was a mistake on her part because it took my anger and turned it into rage.

"That is such bull," I growled. "Being with me wasn't a sick compulsion you couldn't save him from. No one can make Eric do something he doesn't want to do. If he didn't want to be with me, he would have found a way around it but I am what he wants. I'm the woman he loves. I am who he married—"

"That is not what I meant. I—"

She interrupted me with that steely tone that all vampires used to get their way, the same tone that I was numb to. Eric had never been able to use it to make me cower and she was out of her mind if she thought she could.

"I don't care what you meant and I care less about what you think!" I said, getting to my feet.

My hands were tight fists at my side. I was shaking and every single muscle I had in my body was so tense that I felt like my bones would crack. The beating of my heart was roaring between my ears. I wanted her out and I wanted her to go through the wall to get there. The words to rescind her invitation were on my tongue but I was distracted by the odd sensation on my face.

I was crying. I've cried before I guess, everyone did, but this felt wrong. These tears weren't born of hurt, they were of frustration and rage. I shouldn't be crying, in front of an audience no less. I wiped my tears away and the flow stopped immediately. It registered and immediately I somehow I knew that I should be ashamed of myself. It was the same shameful, embarrassing feeling you would get if you ever accidentally tucked your skirt into your panties. It was humiliating.

I was better than this, I was better than her. I didn't have to explain myself to her anymore than I did with humans who asked, 'What's it like to marry a deader?' except Pam should know better. She knew how many times I had risked my life so Eric wouldn't suffer any negative effects for being with me.

With all the dignity I could muster, I nodded my head at her and turned in the opposite direction. I was a foot from the door way when Pam simply materialized to block my exit. "Eric is cornered."

"You told me you didn't know where he was," I accused.

"I do not," She repeated. "What I do know is that he will not live out the night and neither will any of us. I have a plan to prevent that."

That was enough to get me back in my seat. "Peter knows ending Eric will cost him all the vampires in Area Five. He doesn't want to go that route but he will because Eric is pushing him by refusing the proposed terms of surrender."

She looked at me and I knew what the terms were, me. I saw her dilemma, the solution, and the consequences of all the available choices. If this was the first or even fourth time a vampire wanted to get me in a trade I might be appalled. The truth was I'd lost count. I was numb and a shell of myself. I didn't have the energy. I wanted my husband safe.

Eric, however; was refusing to give up his wife even at the price of his life and of those under him. If I gave myself up then the ten or so resident vampires would survive a hostile takeover. Some of these vampires were my friends and had at one time or another protected me.

What made the decision wasn't even Eric. It was Pam. She cared more about what would save Eric than what would make him happy. I did too. Moreover, I was taking an impossible decision out of his hands. He loved Pam and because I loved him, I had to love her too. I might not die for an Area full of vampires that I was familiar and friendly with but for them, for him, I would give the world.

"Do it," I said.


	24. Chapter 24

**Chapter 24**

**There's No Place Like Home**

**Sookie**

I wasn't sure what I thought of the fact that Pam didn't hesitate. She just turned on her heel and left the house. Of all the things that were going on in the dark of this night, all I wanted to do was take a shower. It wouldn't change anything but it would clear my mind and maybe the reality would settle in. To be honest though, I couldn't say for sure that I wasn't dreaming.

I sat under the piping hot spray of water and I cried. I got flashbacks of the girl in my dream. I suddenly saw the pureness in crying in the rain. It wasn't to hide them, it was to have something that washed it all away. So I cried for the vampires who lost their lives tonight, not because some were my friends but because their deaths were avoidable. Most of all, I cried for the man I loved and the happy life we had. I knew Eric. He would hate Pam when it was over and he would never forgive me either. He would be all alone in a place that should be safe but was now crawling with his enemies.

Peter's people must have been close. By the time I was out of the shower there were double the voids around my house. I tried my best to ignore it. The decision was made and so the uncertainty was over and that was truly the worse of it or so I hoped. It wouldn't be accurate to say vampires were cruel anymore than it would be to say all humans were humane. The truth was I didn't know what I had signed up for. I didn't know if I would be a slave or granted some semblance of a normal life in a different state.

There was nothing to pack. I wasn't home. This had never really felt like my home. The house in Shreveport was but I couldn't go there. I wasn't sure I ever could. The night didn't call for it but I wore a sweatshirt over my t-shirt and jeans combo. Outside in my living room it was like Rhodes without the fancy lobby of the hotel. There were vampires everywhere. When I stepped out of my room, they all looked my way.

"Call them off," Pam said.

"You have my word," a female vampire said.

It took me a second to place her as Peter's second in command, Jennifer Cater. I met her once and I have been trying to forget her. She was the only thing that was as close as Jade Flower. Where Jade was quiet and scary, she was loud dangerous.

"Lay down your arms, swear fealty to your rightful ruler, give me the telepath, and I will make the call."

The vampires of Area Five looked to their acting leader. Pam was perched at the foot of the stairs like a tiny blonde gargoyle. For all she had been through she didn't show a mark of it. I think it was because she was losing and sacrificing just as much as I was for the room full of her people.

Pam rose to her feet. With deliberate care, she disarmed herself one dagger at a time. In order of rank the fighters that came with her did the same. First was Thalia who looked like she did this every night. Last was Indira. The sound of her last dagger hitting the pile rang with a finality of the grave and the emptiness of the deepest abyss. The vampires of Area Five stood bare against their invaders. The humiliation wasn't over.

Pam stepped forward. She dropped to her knees in front Jennifer, a vampire we all knew she could eat for dinner. Nevertheless, she didn't rise until she was signaled. It wasn't so much to make her appear subservient as it was a show of total and utter defeat. It was demoralizing. For the second time in less than a minute the whole room was staring at me.

I did have the clarity to shove my other hand in the pocket of my sweatshirt. I wiggled the ring off my finger and fisted it in my hand. It comforted me. I never really showed it but this was the one piece of jewelry Eric had given me that I wanted. It had been unexpected and the sentiment behind it had been clear. I was his in every way that he could imagine, even in ways that he didn't find relevant traditionally.

I fought the dizziness in my head and the pain in my chest. The command left my brain but my feet wouldn't move. I was seeing an uncertain future filled with strangers in a strange place. I couldn't move. It was Jennifer. It was her face. It was unfamiliar so I blotted it out. That worked until I placed my hand right hand in hers. Presumably, it was the same as all vampires but it felt so wrong that I flinched but didn't pull my hand away.

"Speaker," Pam said as Jennifer reached for her phone. "I want to hear his voice."

I had spent the past year waiting for Pam to show me something other than indifference or obligation. The look on her face now wasn't her usual bland façade. She didn't look like the blonde raven. She looked like someone that was about to be ushered into hell. I don't know why I felt worse for her than I did for myself. Certainly, this was worth a pity party, even a small one. For that matter I don't know why I wasn't more afraid, the situation certainly called for it but I was either drained or in shock.

Whatever else I was, I was more than relieved. Unlike Pam, I knew the price I was paying. It was servitude, hers was the mark of disloyalty that her Maker would brand her with and it would stay with her always. Even if I never saw Eric again I could say he loved me still. She could see him every day for the rest of time and she might be the recipient of his hate. I didn't want that to be the case. I didn't want that for them but I didn't know how I could prevent it, not from a distance, not when they were both right.

"The State is ours," Jennifer said when the lines connected. "They have surrendered."

There was a group cheer from the other side of the line. To my senses, it was perceptible and loud. There were even slaps of what I had to presume were 'high fives.' It was as if they had won a baseball game. Then I had to wonder if this wasn't their favorite past time, killing each other off for money and power. The celebratory whoops were drowned by a snarl so vicious it caused the hairs on the back of my neck to stand on end. I knew the voice but not the rage and pain behind it.

"No!" Eric roared.

There were shouts and bangs synonymous with all hell being unleashed. My heart broke. I literally felt the pain encase my chest and settle in my stomach. Eric would be angry and hurt but I told myself that in a thousand years he had survived much worse.

_"__He'll __understand__." I shouted mentally.__"__He'll __understand__.__He has to.__" _

I repeated it over and over but in my heart it would always be Tuesday and I would always love him. I bit my cheek until I tasted blood but I didn't cry. I swallowed every ounce of pain and chased it with the fact that I had found Eric a way through what was going to be certain death. That was the most important thing to me. Nothing between us was unsaid. I loved him and he knew it. Without a doubt, I knew that he loved me, more than his life, more than all our lives combined.

I didn't look back as I was led out the door of my house and my life. I was leaving behind everything I knew for the second time. The difference was I would remember it. How could I forget my husband, the countless memories, and the happiness we shared? The answer was simple, I couldn't. I didn't want to no matter how badly it hurt. Instead, I let it comfort me. Eric was worth this. The life we had was worth it.

Jennifer led me to a dark sedan. She opened the back seat door and we entered. One burly rugged fellow slid in on my left and she stuck tight on my right. Then two more vampires embarked into the driver seat and passenger side.

"You like tea," She said as the car sped away. "With lots of cream and sugar,"

I wasn't even going to ask how she knew that but she had come prepared. A pretty cup of tea was offered to me. It was cold but I accepted it all the same. Sure, she threatened to kill my husband and his people. My manners and self-preservation wouldn't allow me to point out just how tactless the gesture was. Yes, she enslaved me. Then five minutes later, she thought to butter me up with cold tea.

"You may sleep if you wish," She told me. "We are under the strictest orders to keep you safe and comfortable."

Suspicious, if I didn't think she was trying to drug me with the tea before I did now. Who in their right mind could sleep in this situation? Not to mention that when I met her at Rhodes, Jennifer did me the same courtesy as all of Peter's vampires. When she wasn't looking at me in open appraisal she had been shooting Eric hostile glares.

"I can't sleep," not without Eric. "But thank you very much."

I wasn't sure if she was trying not to bare her fangs at me or smile in reassurance. In the end it just ended up looking like a mutated grin or grimace. I was coming up on thirty hours with very little sleep. It was around this time that I conked out. I assured myself that the sun was on my side. No matter where they were taking me I could stay awake long enough to know where we were going. I was wrong.

I woke in a room that was as cozy as it was unfamiliar. The bed was a vast cherry canopy monstrosity with silken sheets and clouds of soft pillows. The entire room could have come out of a catalogue. If I had to guess, I would say someone with a taste for elegance decorated it. It was flourished in ornate and bold pieces of gold, purple, and cream. Every inch of fabric and metal spoke of royalty.

Somewhere out there, Cinderella and every princess imagined was eating their heart out. I was consumed by that until touches that were more intimate caught my attention. The French doors that led to the balcony were open and the thin curtains blew softly with the light breeze. There were pictures on the marble fireplace mantle along with an overstuffed sofa with a blanket draped over it haphazardly that faced a floor to ceiling library.

Maybe this was another dream. Maybe all the pain I was trying to lock away was the product of a very long dream. I would have believed that if it weren't for the diamond ring I could feel in my pocket and the pain in my heart; there was also no faceless little girl nor an ambiguous voice in the shadows. That was what I thought until the moon illuminated the mantle above the fire place.

The little girl was right there. For the first time I was seeing her face, a child's face. It had haunted me for long. After a few months not seeing her face gave me comfort, it made me believe that it was all in my head. Now I knew that wasn't the truth.

I don't remember giving the command, or even feeling as my legs brought me within arm's reach of the photo. I wanted to reach out to touch the picture but I couldn't. The image had trapped me in place, leaving me unable to do anything but stare. _It was me._ She was me! It was like looking in a mirror that carried me back through time. She couldn't be more than seven. She, or I, was in full fencing gear, sans facemask with it tucked under my arm.

My hair was perfectly styled into a Herringbone braid that had to be done by an expert. There wasn't a strand out of place even though it was clear she, I had just been in a match. I was wearing a look of supreme confidence. The only thing that kept it from arrogance was the mirth in my eyes. I was telling the world that I was awesome and I knew it! I stared at the picture and the world spun and spun until there was nothing else but that picture. _I remembered._

That picture was taken in Colorado Springs at the United States Olympic Training Center. Zee and Ollie were driving me to Nevada. Along the way they had a discussion that led to an argument that was to be settled with a bet. I was only half-paying attention to their conversation. I was tinkering with the gadget in my lap.

As the car wove through the desert highway I hadn't known it, but in my tiny hands was the last component of my artificial intelligence software. In another five years, it would be complete and sold to several government agencies as a Firewall. I would keep a better version of it called F.I.N. He was a fully integrated networking system that would see and know everything with an electronic pulse.

"If I win you take my place for the next experiment," Zee wagered.

Ollie shuddered and ran his hands over his arms. There was no physical change. I supposed the pain he wanted to quell was psychological. I remembered exactly why and instead of feeling remorseful, I was annoyed.

"Jeez, Ollie! I said I was sorry," I grumbled from the back seat. "How long are you going to keep milking this?"

"As soon I stop giving off a static charge in thunder storms," He replied.

Zee and I laughed. Oliver reached back and swatted at me. He missed though, not from a lack of trying, which had only made me and Zee laugh harder.

"My point is," Zee continued. "Her father makes her do all this shit because he does not want her idle. Taking her to see a film will serve the same purpose."

"And it is about outer space and intergalactic conflict." I'd chimed in.

"Precisely!" Zee enthused.

We were trying to hustle Oliver but we'd gotten over on him one time too many as evidenced by his derisive snort.

"She is mad and so are you if you think I am going to be the one to tell him she missed her appointment with NASA because you wanted to see 'Star Wars'."

Zee didn't say anything. He winked at me from the rearview mirror and I just rolled my eyes. I knew just as I knew now that no one should bet against Zee. He always won.

I had never fenced a day in my life but to make his point, Zee had gotten us into the training facility and I had wiped the floor with everyone there. We detoured to see Star Wars and Ollie had to explain why. A lifetime of memories was surging through my mind; my first day of school, birthdays, holidays, trips abroad, and all my inventions.

My face fell into my hands. It was the sensation I got before I woke from dreams except this time I didn't wake up screaming. The pressure in my head mounted and I cried out. I felt like my head was going to explode. I felt the warm trickle of blood begin to stream from my nose.

My shields weren't failing. This was all me. The dam broke, crumbled to dust, and my mind was flooding faster than I could handle. I didn't see or hear a thing but even in my current turbulent state, I felt the presence. In the doorway I saw the shadow I had dreamed of so many times but now he had a face. It was a face I knew; a face I loved.

"Dad," I called, breathless. "Daddy?"

He smiles at me.

Darkness and light spun both in my mind and behind my lids. My knees buckle as the pain pushed past anything I could handle.

* * *

**Closing A/N:** **In case you have been wondering about Felipe he hasn't been idle. He has been biding his time and now here he is. For those of you have earned the title of 'Mom,' in any of its variations, have a very happy mother's day! See you soon!**


	25. Chapter 25

**A/N: Sorry I missed my update for the past week. I've been tweaking and refining. To make up for it this week is going to have six chapters. Before we do that I have a rather silly request. Could someone super familiar with WordPress please send me a PM? I am trying to figure out how how to make sure people that are following this story there get the updates, because they aren't. Sorry...I know this is not the place and it seems kind of ridiculous but I seriously can't figure it out. So any help would be great! **

**Ms. Buffi I know what I owe and I'm cooking it up. Sorry I am taking my sweet ass time with it. I got distracted with that new project (hint, hint; wink, wink) **

* * *

**Chapter 25**

**Family Life**

**Sookie**

I blinked against the glare as the same room from last night came into focus but I didn't remember what happened after I saw my father smile. I don't know how I had gotten back into my bed. I must have passed out. He had given me blood. I could taste it. The taste registered just as the thundering chorus slammed against my skull. This time I didn't need help to shut it out. I knew who and what I was. There was no panic. Between one breath and the other I'd slammed my shields into place.

After that I counted back from a thousand and my consciousness returned one sensory organ at a time. I felt the lushness of the pillow and the silky fabric of the sheets. I felt the sun on my face. The scent of coffee was thick in the air. It was my favorite brand. That forced me to pry my eyes open.

"Hey Sleepyhead!" Someone shouted.

I barely had time to see her face before he arms wrapped in a super warm hug. My witchy best friend, she held me so tight that I could barely breathe. I pulled away from her, trying to imagine how I didn't recognize those eyes regardless of them being in cat form.

The first dream I had while in my amnesiac state came to mind, although now I knew that it wasn't a dream but a memory, one that I had all the pieces to. It was the day I met Amelia. That summer was Oliver's turn to watch me. We had been living in Bridge Hampton, New York then.

Ollie was throwing me a very early birthday party even though I wasn't turning six until the fall. It was a celebration fit for a princess. The problem was I didn't have any friends. I never really did. Telepathy aside, I hung around ancient vampires and a middle-aged neuroscientist. Oliver had invited the entire South Fork of New York as a substitute. The one person I wanted to see most wasn't there.

Almost two years prior, Doctor Wexler helped me create a serum for a vampire's affliction to sunlight, day time stupor, and silver. Now my family wasn't bound by the night, though despite what I had intended not much had changed.

I still spent most days with Doctor Wexler or at school if I felt like it. I got to see my dad in the daytime, but I still got rotated amongst my brothers so they could keep an eye on me when he was too busy. It also prevented exposing me as his.

"Shy," Oliver said. "Come along little one, your guests are waiting."

I didn't move. "Shy'ra," He called.

I remained where I stood, on my room balcony watching the guests amass. I didn't speak until I heard my brother enter the room. He had been dressed in an artfully cut linen suit. His hair was brushed back and he looked like a million bucks; no, it was more like a billion at least, that was what he was worth. That was why all these people had come. Not for me or him. My hurt turned outward.

"This dress is puffy and stupid," I complained, tugging at it. "These people are even more so."

My brother thwacked me on the forehead firmly with the knuckles of his middle and index finger. I tried to block it but, at this point, none of my siblings were using restrained speeds with me. They didn't have to. With a daily thimble full of vampire blood as part of my diet I was stronger than a man five times my age.

"It would insult your father to hear you say that about gifts he had made just for you," He scolded. "Surely you have more for him in your heart than that?"

The dress was a pink and white lace monstrosity. The bodice was tight and the bottom was a chapter in a taffeta horror story; it was itchy with a crinoline petticoat. Of course, it had come from my father. The outfit was complete with a pink diamond necklace and earring set. I knew they were both custom made.

I was immediately ashamed of myself. "Yes. I love him," I admitted, my lip trembled but I still didn't cry. "I miss him."

Oliver picked me up very carefully so as to not to ruffle the huge bow on the back of my Pepto-Bismol dress from hell. I wished I could recall how I had gotten in or out of that thing. He held me as I got my emotions under control. I knew all the reasons why my dad couldn't be there. The fact that he didn't want to wasn't one of them. I reminded myself of them and it helped.

"Okay," he asked a few minutes later.

I nodded and managed a smiled but he still kept me perched on his hip as we walked toward the party guests.

"I have something for you," My brother said.

I arched a brow. Overtime, my nonverbal communications was similar to that of any vampire. It was just another reason why I couldn't relate to kids my age.

"There will be over two hundred guests, fifty staff members, twelve people in the band, and twenty in the security detail. You must find the three who have the clues to your birthday present."

I perked up at the challenge. "Who is it from?"

"Lysander," He replied.

Now I was definitely interested. Whenever Zee was involved, I could count on something interesting and fun. I'd been in the kitchens where Amelia was sitting as her mother worked. She offered to help. At the end of all that was a stunning white pony with pink ribbons in her mane and beside her was a go-cart. That wasn't entirely true. It was a race car painted with all things princess but the engine had been replaced with something that wouldn't kill me when I crashed it.

Amelia and I went for a ride, and we've been best friends since. She was odd too, not telepathic but a witch and a powerful one. I was so happy to have a friend that was my size. I knew one of my brothers offered her mother a job doing nothing just so Amelia could travel with me no matter where I went. After her mother married Dr. Wexler, we became truly inseparable.

It was one of the best birthdays I have ever had but there were others, so many others. When I used to dream I had only been able to conjure up the beginning. It had nothing on the true grandeur of the full memory. I never remembered the cake that was seven tiers tall. I didn't remember the mountain of gifts, and, worst of all, I hadn't remembered my best friend.

"Unhand my patient please," Genie said. "She hasn't been cleared."

It was just as Bill had said. Some people were worth meeting again for the first time. All I could do was smile at him. Not for the first time, I was unable to imagine what had happened to ever make me forget him. This was the man who had delivered me into the world. Genie was a good man and great doctor. I had spent hours with him working on my memory gap and it never clicked that he had been with me my whole life.

In a distant part of mind I ran through all our sessions. I knew he had reported everything to my father. It was a blatant lack of ethics on his part but I knew why he had done it. I would have done the same. He had been trying to get me home even if I didn't know where home was.

"Course she is," She argued. "She looks great and she knows me. What else do you want?"

I nodded, "I'm fine, Genie, really."

Being the good doctor he was, Genie came over and took my pulse. He was kind enough to block his thoughts during physical contact. That was how I'd had no idea who he had been. He knew the ins and outs of my telepathy. He was the one who helped me strengthen the shields around it.

Even as he checked my vitals, he was testing me mentally. It was how he had trained me to strengthen my shields as a kid. It was like trying to find Waldo through the mud. I didn't know what I was supposed to be looking for and to make it harder, he buried it under countless inconsequential, yet complex, thoughts.

"Forty-one blue dodecagons," I said when he was finished with his poking and prodding. "A purple leprechaun with eight black leaf clovers and a pink and red tiger, satisfied?"

He smiled and I knew he was going to leave me in peace. "You are still on bed rest."

"I'll be back to have lunch with you," She said in goodbye.

I shook my head. "No. I've kept you to myself for the past year and change."

She scoffed. "I was furry and on four legs." She said. "It's hardly the same as hitting the strip or jet setting."

I smiled. "Bet you regretted learning that transformation spell huh?" I asked.

She shuddered. "_Ugh!_ You have freaking idea. If I never eat tuna or see milk again it will be too soon"

Both Genie and I laughed. "Come on Mimi, your mom is waiting." Genie says gently, pulling her away. "Sookie needs to rest. She is home now you can catch up with you later."

I forced a smile and nodded. When they left I felt entirely adrift. The tether was cut and I was in orbit again. I was alone in the vast luxurious room and I felt every note of that solitude. It didn't last long as a knock sounded on my bedroom door before it was pushed open.

"Good morning, Miss," Grace Ann greeted.

"Grace, you look great," I said in all honesty.

She was an older woman with an eye for detail and the energy to chase down every hair that was out of place. She was the Steward of the house. She was human but she hadn't aged a day since I met her. Two days ago, I would have walked past her on the street and I wouldn't have known her.

It was all so surreal. The lag I felt was normal, I supposed. I was playing catch up. Physically I was fine. The mental upheaval was taking an emotional toll. Every person I came across I was meeting for the second time. It took the emotions I had and split them into three parts; the past, the present and past participle.

Grace preened and curtsied, "Thank you." She walked to the double doors that led into the sitting area of my suite. Then with a dramatic bow she said, "Now if you will please…be our guest."

I hadn't lived at this home in years and that was why I had forgotten how much of a production breakfast in bed was. Zee had watched me for three months when I was three or so. Naturally, he allowed me to do whatever I wanted. I had watched television nonstop. After watching the entire library of Disney princess movies, I had insisted on a full song and dance number as my meals were being served.

I let them finish the rendition of "Be Our Guest" from "Beauty and the Beast." I had no idea why my father had allowed it. For that matter, why did they think I wanted to hear it now? It was so ridiculous and I would have laughed if I didn't feel so miserable. Laughing also would have implied that the performers weren't up to par, but they were. Grace was facing them conducting with her hands and keeping count with her feet. It went something like:

_'__Tap: one, two, three, four and…spin, jump, glitter hands, glitter hands…smile.' _

"That was amazing," I said with a polite smile and applause. "Thank you all."

I was met with bright smiles and bows, and then carts with trays were wheeled into the room. I hadn't eaten in close to twenty-four hours. Hearing the grumble of my stomach, Grace rushed, clapped her hands, and the servers began moving, double time.

"Wow," I breathed.

Every meal I had tried to prepare for myself but could never get right was here. There weren't just breakfast items, there was dessert, seafood, and even a juicy steak.

"I asked Babs to make all your favorites," She said.

"This is…just wow," I repeated. "Thank you!"

If it was possible, I thought Grace might literally burst with pride, "You are very welcome, Miss. Welcome home."

In accord, the remainder of the staff bowed and filed out of the room. Grace brought up the rear and closed the door silently behind her. My pallet had remembered what I was trying to achieve but my mind hadn't know how or why. I had been trying to duplicate Babs' recipes and with her talent, no wonder I had failed. I ate and that thing I felt that my food was missing was there. I had a bite of everything.

There was a memory and a story attached to each flavor so after a while eating became painful. It was just pathetic to be emoting because of pancakes. I couldn't help it. I'd made Eric use super vampire speed to mix batter during my quest to replicate what I felt was missing. It hadn't worked but because he had helped it tasted better. Now, all I could taste were the tears I was forcing myself not to cry.

I was my self again. I was home, but I couldn't get all of me to agree on that fact. I still felt pulled in two. Before I was being pulled by my dreams, now it was my past. Knowing for sure it wasn't just a dream made it harder to shake.

I spit my mouthful of food into a napkin and tried to clear my mind. What I wanted was Eric. I couldn't have him even if I wasn't aligned with another monarch; I had been an instrument to his fall from power. I wanted Eric but people in hell wanted ice water. You can't always get what you want.

I'd left Louisiana with nothing but the shirt on my back. When I walked into my closet after my shower, I was faced with a room that was larger than the average family's living room. I went with jeans and a t-shirt. They were hard to find but nothing else felt remotely acceptable to my skin at the moment. As I walked the familiar halls, I didn't feel at home but I felt surer. I had a purpose here.

Titles are written in blood. My father hadn't groomed me to be a Queen. He wanted me to be The Queen. I knew every detail that went into taking down Sophie-Anne. I knew that it wasn't over, not even close. That made me fear for Eric even more than I had the night before.

The place where my father and his vampires rested was under the pool house. It had been in the basement of the main house but that had quickly turned into my lab. It was three stories underground. Its walls and ceilings were reinforced with six feet of steel. It was where I went to solve any and every problem I had. It hadn't failed me yet.

"Fin," I called, looking at the camera above the door. "Let me in. I forgot my keys."

The holographic butler appeared in front of the door just before they creaked open. He moved with me through the thin holo strips that lined the lab and the entire house.

"Good day, Princess. How was your time off?"

I smiled because he had a British accent and I had no idea why. It had just seemed essential when I was nine and writing his program. So did his smart-ass attitude.

"Hectic," I replied. "So what's up?"

"You have 133,459 items on your calendar that are past due, 25,383 missed calls, 177,690 emails, and 47 trials in your work shop that require immediate attention."

The lights and screens were linked to Fin's programming. Once the doors closed behind me, the room came to life. This was where I developed the serum my family used. It was where I had cultivated and programmed Fin. Outside the library and the gym, it was where I spent the most time as a kid.

"Before we tackle all that," I said. "Upload video surveillance of key locations of Louisiana."

"Upload complete."

There were a total of seven flat screen televisions in the lab. They immediately loaded with the footage that came from the four key locations of that state. They were the only places where we didn't have spies. The first consisted of Eric's bar and base. The others were of Sophie-Anne's safe houses.

I had driven up to the Area base so many times. I knew every line in the driveway. As I looked at it from this aerial view, I knew that I was a stranger. That was all I would ever be to Eric. He hadn't married me. He had married the tattered remnants of what was left of me after my mind was gone. The activity in the Area was nil given the time of day. I wondered if our, no, his house was just as quiet. Probably, I wasn't there and I was never going back.

"Let me know when priority target one arrives," I said changing the screen.

"Command confirmed," He said.

"Now, let's see that list."

That was where I spent the day. My last act of a desperate wife had saved Eric and his people the night of the takeover. I couldn't undo what I had done, but I had to do what I could for him from where I was. That would be my focus and it was enough to numb the pain. It took a few hours but at some point, it stopped hurting. I stopped thinking about Eric. By the time sunset arrived, I had enabled my mind to detach.

"Incoming call," Fin said.

"Take a message," I snapped.

"It is your father."

If I didn't accept it, he would override the voice mail. He made me add the feature after I was caught sleeping and eating down here one time too many times, literally, it had only been once. I'd been ten or so and he had forbidden it after he'd nearly eaten my nanny for her flagrant neglect.

I cut him off before he could reply. In a distant part of my mind I found it odd that my brain automatically switched from English to Spanish when speaking to him.

"Hi, Daddy," I greeted absently. "I didn't forget. Give me a few minutes. Give me a minute."

"I do not have the time to give you tonight baby," He says. "I have no room in my schedule."

"I know…I know."

I had access to his calendar. It was just that I was trying to polarize hemoglobin and uncut MDMA. I wasn't getting any closer to what I was trying to do. It was an absolute pain in the ass is what it was. It was made worse by the fact that I had accomplished it already. It had been too long. The sample had corroded, as blood was known to do. I didn't know what I had done right or why it had now gone so wrong.

"I'll be up in five," I said, removing my goggles and gloves.

"Two," He replied. "Your clock started twenty seconds ago. Would you like to keep talking?"

There had been so many instances that I could have used this much speed and power I felt coursing through my veins. It had been there but it had been locked away. I pushed my body and found myself on the opposite wing of the mansion.

The only way to let the vampire and full fairy out was to push the human beyond what it could handle. That had always been Doctor Wexler's theory. I wasn't human, not really, but I never really was.

Looking down at my hands, I could almost see the destructive power within them. My body was tingling with adrenaline. If I wanted, I could push myself harder, go faster, and run for much longer. No matter what I knew, my body was capable; my mind was yet to catch up. I came to a skidding halt and narrowly avoided opening my father's study with the left side of my body.

I opened the door and I was faced with the people who had a hand in raising me, my four brothers sat in their usual order. I had seen this image so many times that I had no idea how I had ever forgotten it. Sai was the eldest and just shy of 797-years- old. He was a Moor. He had mocha skin and dark features. He was behind my father. His arms were folded and his left foot was propped behind him. It gave the deadly illusion that he was relaxed, slouching even. Yet everything about him still screamed ferocity, from the scar along his jaw to his long black hair and slanted eyes.

Nim stood off in the darkest corner of the room. He was motionless and silent, even more than the average vampire. He said the least but I thought it was because he saw the most, even more than I did. Born in Russia, he spent his human life as a slave in China. I remembered that when I was a toddler with words too big for my mouth to form properly, he was the only one who understood me.

Ollie and Zee were seated in the winged back arms chairs directly across my father's polished mahogany desk.

Oliver was British and Lysander was Greek. Physically they were similar enough to pass for biological brothers. They both had sandy hair with natural dark blonde streaks. Their eyes were warm hazel. Zee, who was my favorite, possessed delicate features that made him appear effeminate. Ollie was warm and could have a conversation with anyone about anything.

Then there was my father, Felipe De Castro. He was a Spaniard and in his human life, he had been royalty. It showed in every breath he didn't take and everything he said or didn't say. He wasn't a tall man. His skin was a rich caramel; not even death had stolen that from him. His hair was short, but full, and cut in a style to make it appear as though it was cascading despite its short length, and his thick, perfectly arched brows complemented round, deep olive green eyes.

Though he was far from tall and brawny, his presence was impossible to ignore. Even surrounded as he was by such physically imposing figures, he did not appear to be any less a Ruler with his regal manner. I idolized him. He was my father. The others were my brothers. This was my family. The accident had robbed me of everything, but so had coming home.


	26. Chapter 26

**Chapter 26**

**Distractions & Clarifications**

**Sookie**

The greeting I received wasn't a chorus of welcomes or shouts of joy. Everyone acknowledged me in their own personal way. Nim bumped me with his shoulder as I passed. I leaned my head against his arm to reciprocate. Ollie and Zee smiled. Sai scowled.

"You are feeling better," My father said, holding out his hand. He kissed my head as he led me into the seat at his left.

"Yes," I replied.

All the rest of the world knew about was my telepathy when in truth, I was a human-Fae-vampire hybrid. Telepathy was the least of my abilities and that was why I had been able to get as close to Sophie-Anne as I had.

"I'm going to ask," Zee said. "What happened?"

How had my assignment in Louisiana had gone so wrong? The task itself wasn't easy but the hardest part of it had been long over. The systematic fall of Queen Sophie-Anne had been slowly progressing for the past four years. What no one knew was she had a gambling problem and it was rotting her Kingdom from the inside out.

Sixty or so years ago my father had loaned her money. He had given her the money on good faith, hoping it might be the beginning of a friendship a silent alliance even. She had screwed him. It wasn't a large sum, but it was the principle. That was why he had chosen her State for me to take over my first conquest.

It was doubly perfect because Bon Temps was where my mother was born and raised. I didn't know much about her but the location couldn't be more perfect strategically. The memory of the Bellefleurs thinking I was coming to fleece a dying woman was nothing compared to the reality. It had been worse. I had been party to the manipulation of the last days of an old woman's life.

Adele Stackhouse was my entry point. She was dying of lung cancer. Our spy in the State had been feeding her ailing mind images of me. They weren't lies. Michelle had run away and I was her child. From what I read, the implantations didn't cause her duress. They had afforded a few more months and earned me a place in her will without any coercion. She bequeathed to me the house. Every justification I thought of only made me feel more the wretched scoundrel I had become. She was dying and alone. I had always known that. The difference was I now I felt…something about the underhanded way I'd done it but at that time she was nothing but a means to an end. While she was being used, I hadn't once thought to get her blood so she could have more time. It was because the thought of getting to know her never crossed my mind.

Prior to my memory loss I'd been living in Bon Temps on and off for four years. My absences were explained by my college career. I was the long lost granddaughter of Adele Stackhouse. My resident there was to allow me a better vantage point of Sophie-Anne's affairs. It allowed my father to better cripple her financially, forcing her to marry Peter who for in intents and purposes was our puppet.

It had all been planned so perfectly, right down to the most minuscule detail. Once I was in Bon Temps, Bill would let slip I was a telepath. It would insure that the vampires would keep me close. I could learn all I needed to make the best possible choice. Memories inundated my mind of one debacle after another. Nothing had gone the way as planned. Fate had twisted everything, sending a highly drugged Werewolf crashing into my car.

Naturally the car wreck made me think of Eric. I had been doing so well at pushing that vampire from my thoughts. I bit back a sigh as the meeting moved on to specifics. I was going to have to explain what happened, and the more I thought about it, the less sense it made.

"You have been driving since you were six with no accidents," Ollie remarked pointedly. "How did this happen?"

With every birthday since I was six, I received at least one car and as every year that passed they became as fast as they did powerful. Oliver as right; I had an impeccable record. I tried to think of something I did or shouldn't have done behind the wheel of that fateful night. Nothing came to mind.

There was no warning of the impending crash. One second I was a few miles from the Bon Temps exit, the next I heard metal clawing at metal, my equilibrium was lost, and then there was… I went over the entire thing in mind a few more times so I could be certain.

"Someone else was there," I said.

It was a separate entity from the inebriated werewolf and Eric. Even before my memory was gone, I hadn't recalled this presence but I'd felt it.

By the look on my father's face this wasn't a shock. Obviously, he knew something I didn't. It was something important of which I should have been aware.

"Who was it?" I asked.

"A faery," The King replied.

"What for?" I asked. They didn't have a dog in this fight or any other that involved vampires. Since our kind tended to drain them on site they avoided us. It didn't make any sense.

"That is not the purpose of this sit down," He said. "We need to bring you to speed."

He was right. My question was more a point of curiosity that explained past events but it wasn't a priority. I'd been gone too long. All the devices my father and brothers had needed updates that they had no idea how to complete.

Oliver had tax documents for my accounts that hadn't been filed in a long time, like an illegally long time.

"I think we could get the fines waved with a considerable charity donation from your personal money market account. Stocks from your pharmacy corporations had to be signed to the doctor. They exploded beyond anything that I could bury."

"Figure out the amount and I'll pick my charity," I told him.

I was looking forward to immersing myself in all of this. It would keep my mind from thinking of my husband. A small part of me was hopeful that the lack of such thoughts might help me not love him so much. Everything about me was returning to the way things were and the truth was that I was his enemy. The fact that I was his mate only made my heartache all the more painful. If I revealed this truth to my father, it would never save Eric. It would only be used against him.

Ending him was not an option in this phase though I knew it was only a matter of time. Still, I was desperate for something I could see with my own eyes, even if I couldn't touch. I wanted Eric more than I wanted my next breath. If I was idle I would crack. I couldn't afford that, not here. I couldn't even afford for my family to suspect it. Throwing myself into work of any caliber was my only diversion.

Zee had other plans. "I'm going to interrupt before you two break out your beakers, books, and calculators." He threatened. "We have the premiere at Drai's to get to so…"

I looked around the table, the expressions varied. Sai looked irritated as always. Nim looked unmoved. Oliver was resigned. I didn't know what to think. This was in place before my return.

"First dark will not find you in Los Angeles, Lysander," My father said, without looking up.

It was an understandable command. With the fall of a regent in any territory, vampires in all Kingdoms became a little testy as well as bit paranoid. Zee spent too much time with humans to remember what the capabilities of a testy vampire were.

My brother looked more than a little horrified. I bit my cheek to hide my smile. I knew Zee was going to rant and bitch. He was the only one of us who did this to my father's face. It wasn't that no one else tried. We knew it was pointless. Zee did as well but he just refused to allow anyone who made him unhappy get away with it.

"I have already been paid for the weekend," He argued.

A shrug, "Announce it now and you will make more if your appearance is for one night only. You will be within these walls before first dark tomorrow."

That was the end of the discussion. Nothing else Zee would say could argue with my father's logic. He still didn't let it go, "I do not understand what my show has to do with some dead regent."

I flinched, but it was the only response he got as he stalked out of the room. My dad looked annoyed. Sai and Nim were unchanged. Oliver looked relieved. I had to admit I was too. I was often the most eager to go accompany Zee out for a night on the town. Tonight nothing could have been more dreadful.

The meeting broke an hour later and I heading to back the lab when Oliver intercepted me. "No, you don't." He said.

I sighed. "I'm buried under a year of shit, Ollie." I said. "I can't."

That was true but the main reason was I was desperate to get back to check if Eric had returned home. In fact, I had plans on tapping into any surveillance camera I could reach to see my husband's face. I needed to confirm that he was alright. I couldn't feel him. That could be due to my natural shields against vampires, or it might have been due to the blood my father had given me, or perhaps even my memory returning and hybrid origins. It was impossible to say.

I wanted to be with Eric even if it meant just lying down in our bed and reminiscing about the life we'd together; the laughs, the passion, the comfort, or the endless times I fell asleep with his arms around me. Gone, gone, gone, all of that was gone.

It felt like my devotion and love wasn't just being spread thin, it was torn in two. The Princess my father had raised should see Eric as a weakness and find a way to neutralize him. Having no desire to do so made me feel like I was betraying my kin.

"I have been stuck with just him," Ollie said. He wasn't begging yet, but he was hitting well below the belt. "He has the most fun when he is with you."

"I can't," My tone held a note of finality but of course he kept at me.

"He even bullied Nim into volunteering as our escort," He said.

That was one for the ages. Nim and crowds of any sort didn't mix, never mind a club full of intoxicated humans. "How?"

"Guilt," He told me with a shrug.

Oh. Nim would have been the one my father sent to get me back. In the chaos of Dallas and the fight in Mississippi, he had tried and failed both times. "That was a shitty thing for Zee to do."

He nodded and then shrugged once more. "If you enjoy yourself with us, it is unlikely that Zee would get away with using it again."

That was how I found myself dressed and awaiting transport to some night club in the entry way of the house. Zee saw me and he made a face that I could honestly say I'd never seen before. It was a comical cross between amused and being utterly confounded.

"What?" I asked, looking around.

His only response was to shrug out of his custom made designer jacket and come over to me. One hand wrapped around my around my waist as he flew us back upstairs.

"When the hell did you get so fucking bossy?" I asked. Come to think of it, I was still pissed at him for what he did to Nim. "Probably around the same time you turned a douche bag that plays on his brother's guilt."

He pulled me past the living area of my suite and into my closet. He didn't let me go until I was standing in front of several full length mirrors. It offered me a 360 degree view of my attire. I was in a simple tank dress and sandals. Over the dress I wore a matched cardigan. I had brushed my hair up and went through the trouble of a little makeup. I didn't see what he was trying to show me until he stepped beside me.

I compared our images. Next to him I looked like something the cat dragged in, ate and then spat up. It wasn't just the physical aspects like his radiant skin and luxurious hair. Zee looked like something that not even the biggest celebrity could touch. My brother's clothes alone cost several thousand. His dress shoes, his crisp jeans, and designer t-shirt, it all spoke of privilege and prestige as opposed to flashy wealth. He didn't wear much jewelry but the subtle sparkle of his earring and his watch couldn't be ignored.

"The helicopter will be here in twenty minutes," He told me.

His words alone might not have bothered me. However, they were accompanied by a long penetrating expression for which Zee wasn't exactly known. I knew I was off but didn't know how. I had dressed myself like the telepathic barmaid and not like the Princess my father had raised. Hell, I shouldn't even have dressed myself never mind doing my own hair.

My father had predicted the climate of Zee's one night only appearance at the club. It was outright pandemonium. Oliver and I made snide comments as he was transformed from a prince to Mick Jagger with fangs. We suffered through the wardrobe, makeup, sound check, and fanfare.

Being a vampire pop star was something Zee was given the opportunity to do because he couldn't do anything else. It wasn't to say he was useless. People of all species loved him; even if the vampire public image crashed and burned I was sure it wouldn't change. He was easy to love, plus this was what made him happy and since the Great Revelation, there had been no logical reason to disallow him.

I watched from back stage as the show started. The faces in the crowd were indistinguishable. They moved as a single organism as my brother danced, sang, and plucked expertly at his guitar. The energy was contagious but I was immune. Everything that was happening was being absorbed through all my senses; I felt the excitement of the crowd, most of whom were celebrities in their own right. They cheered and screamed the same as anyone who wasn't used to Zee's stage presence.

The scents and sounds were too many to list as was the feel of my expensive attire as it adorned my body. It was all palpable though none of it felt real. It was similar to all those dreams I had while my memory was lost. I was here but I was just a witness, not a participant. I knew this was what life without Eric would be no matter how long I lived. I didn't bemoan the fact. I didn't regret it. In fact, I welcomed it. My father taught me that pain was a checkpoint of reality. This hollowness in my chest was real and it meant that everything I experienced with Eric was too.

There was only an hour or so before dawn when we arrived back in Nevada. Zee and Oliver went to bed. I knew I should too. Today was one of those days when I should be keeping vampire hours. I'd been up all night coming close to my twenty-fifth hour but sleep was the last thing on my mind. I ran to the lab only to find that nothing had changed. I tapped into cameras in all the places I could think of but none of them could show me the one face I wanted to see more than anything. Facial recognition made it easier but Eric could fly and move much too fast for a camera.

I sat down and searched manually beginning in the area around New Orleans. A lump formed in my throat as morning turned to afternoon and I still had nothing. I wanted to cry but I forced it back. This was the last place in the world where I could allow myself to cry. No sooner did I have that thought when I heard the door to the lab slide open. I had just enough time to end the search before my father appeared.

"Go to sleep," He said.

I smiled at him and gave him the same argument I'd been using my whole life, "I'm not tired."

"It has nothing to do with the need for sleep. Come."

I took his hand and we walked silently back up to my room. He'd been holding it the same way since I was toddler, running to keep up with him. The way he held me was the same, his grip was light, guiding and comforting.

"I missed you." I told him. "I missed home."

"That is paradoxical. How can you miss what you didn't remember?" He sounded genuinely curious. "Not even in your dreams did you know me."

"Like this," I squeezed his hand. "I missed your presence without even knowing."

My hand in his was a constant; there were times during my memory loss that I would clasp my fingers as I walked as if someone should be holding my hand.

The move was sudden as he pulled me into a hug. One hand, his left, rubbed my back in a circular motion. It was a gesture of affection that marked my entire life. As far back as I could recall I'd known this scent. It carried me to bed when I fell asleep in the lab. It soothed, instructed, scolded, and encouraged.

I held onto him tighter because I needed comfort. When we pulled apart, my blue eyes were affixed on his green ones. His fingers brushed my hair from my face and he straightened my jacket in that nagging, "You dressed yourself" fashion. It was so familiar and I was grateful that I hugged him again, longer this time. I had no idea how I ever forgot such gestures from someone I loved so much.

"You are thinner," He said, tapping my chin.

It would be a compliment if I had heard this a week ago. Coming from him, it wasn't. Every day of my life with vampires, I had been made to believe that I was above the rest, that I broke the mold. Telepathy made me better, not freaky. My height, my voluptuous figure, my IQ, and my physical abilities were all things that had set me on a pedestal which no woman, living or undead, would ever touch.

Yet in the little time I had spent with humans, I had forgotten that. Even as I stood here in my childhood home, I felt out of place that I didn't feel more out of place. I realized that part of being human was being insecure. In fact, it was a crucial part.

"I can cook as well as I sing," I explained.

He cupped my face and ever so gently, he kissed my head and both my cheeks. "You have done what you set out to do. You are home now."

Yes, I was home but with only half of my heart. I was caught between two very separate worlds. How could I choose when both made me the person I'd become? I couldn't. All I could do was defend Eric; the only way to that was to remain where I was and be the daughter my father raised.


	27. Chapter 27

**Sookie**

**Complications**

**Chapter 27**

My first thought the next day was of the dream I had the night before. I dreamt of Eric. It hurt even more that I couldn't remember all the details. It was just his face, his smile, the feel of his hands, and his scent that was haunting me. I woke with my heart heavier than it was the night before. I had no idea how I was going to do this just that I had to. I went down to breakfast. It was served in the formal dining room. The table could sit over a dozen people.

"Thank you," I said, dismissing all three severs with a strained smile. The opulence of the room was somehow accentuated by the loneliness I felt. I took my plate into the kitchen. When I pushed open the two-way door the chatter died immediately.

"It's okay," was what I meant to say.

Seeing I was carrying my blueberry muffin in my mouth, it was hard to know what they heard. The expressions ranged from dismay to horror. For one, I didn't think I'd ever been in the kitchen. Secondly, I never carried in my own plates.

I needed to get my head in the game. I shouldn't be carrying my own anything anywhere, never mind clearing my own plates. I might as well have served it. That was what a princess should think. It hadn't crossed my mind. I just didn't want to sit alone at a table for twelve.

Placing my bowl of fruit, my tea cup and saucer on the counter, I took the muffin out of my mouth.

"I called but no one came," I said calmly. "If Grace had seen this she would have your jobs."

I felt like such a lying bitch but I had to hide my irrational behavior. The servers looked between each other in unspoken question. None of them had heard but they would take the blame for something they didn't do rather than call me a liar. They hung their heads, even the cook and her assistant looked shameful.

"It won't happen again."

Her name was Maggie. She had five children, two of whom were in college. With what she earned working for my father, she was able to support them comfortably. The thought of losing her job made her mind go off like a cannon in my head.

I smiled and tried to calm her. "You're all not used to me being back and to be honest, neither am I. I won't tell if you don't."

I smiled when I was sure everyone was more or less at ease I scurried out. Jesus! I'd been awake only an hour, I was already wishing it was dawn, and I could give into exhaustion. Going back to the lab to search for Eric was useless. The sun was up. If I only knew that I had a way for him to walk in the day. How many times had I secretly wished he could do just that? No, going back there would destroy my little bit of control. I roamed the house aimlessly for awhile. I'd left the house proper and was a floor underground. I smiled as the double doors opened.

The training center of the house had been built around me. To be specific, it was constructed so Sai could safely toss me around as he drilled me in combat training. As I got older, more equipment was added. The trampoline made me smile. I'd asked my father for one because I was sure it would help me learn to fly. I'd been so wrong on that score.

In the entry way of the gym I had clean gear hung up, as if they had been waiting for me even after all this time. I changed and got to work. I was strong and my body was resilient but I wasn't a true immortal. Without use my strength waned, and I was only as strong as I needed to be. That might explain why I'd been beaten up so many times while I was in Bon Temps but I knew that wasn't it. There had to be something else. The faery my father had mentioned had to have done something to me, something worse. Not only did I not have my memories, I had average human strength and my mind was firing as the same speed. I grit my teeth and pushed all that aside.

I pushed my body. The results weren't great. I was out of shape. The weight loss might explain why none of my physical abilities worked as they should. I was on the Leg Press when it happened. It was a slicing, sharp pain I simply couldn't put into words. I rolled off the machine and hit the floor, hard. My jaw was grit against a scream and darkness encroached on my vision.

I tore something, of that I had no doubt. I cursed a blue streak in every language I knew. I was angry more than anything else. I was stronger than this. It took a grueling hour for it to heal and that, too, was slower. I made a note to have some blood later. Once the injury healed, I got right back into training. I pushed and pushed. It took two more tears and hours more to heal but I was soon back to my limit.

I was running through a series of defensive and offensive circuits. With every extension of my hands and feet I was forgetting the pain of being without Eric. It wasn't just that I was without him. I knew that he was ever beyond my reach. If I was being honest, he was never meant for me. Forcefully, I kicked off the wall and was mid-roll in the air when I knew I had an opponent.

The first thing I did was untuck my body from the neat little ball. I also opened my eyes. The hand coming toward me was going to knock me off course. I couldn't change course. So I waited and when the hand was close enough, I grasped it and used it to redirect my trajectory.

Everything I did was so much faster and more powerful than anything I had thought myself capable. When it was over, I had landed in a neat feral crouch a way to the left and Sai was in a similar stance having caught his balance. We faced each other.

I didn't move. A week ago I would have been terrified had I found myself in this same situation without Eric. Now I reveled in it. There was no fear. It wasn't just because Sai was my brother; it was because I too was a predator. I could hold my own. It was more than holding my own, I was a threat. I felt it in my every breath; I felt it in the stillness of my body and the focus of my mind.

"Just couldn't wait to pick on the baby, could you, Sai?" I said wryly. "It's okay. I know you missed me."

Sai shrugged but like me, he didn't shift his stance. "I heard some dirty rumors about you while you were away," He said. "Running from fights, hiding behind a fucking sheriff, and getting beat up by fucking mutts no less…pathetic."

No one took shots at me the way Sai did. I guess it was only fair because I could piss him off by saying or doing nothing.

"Well, you trained me so if those rumors are true, what would it say about you?" I asked innocently. "Nothing good would be my guess. The Mighty Moor trained a weakling."

To call his expression murderous would be understating the truth by a wide margin. The look on his face said he wanted to pull the limbs off my body using my own teeth as the shears. I knew I should be scared. I wasn't. Sai had always been lacking a sense of humor and he certainly didn't understand sarcasm. It wasn't that I had forgotten. I never really cared. He didn't like me so there was nowhere for our relationship to go but down. Since we couldn't hurt each other too badly, we were stuck at an impasse.

"Take a knee," He said, getting to his feet. "Now, before I make you."

Following the law of blood and seniority, I knew I had to concede to him. I would but he would have to kick my ass beforehand. This was how we were forced to settle our spats because I insisted on talking shit. I always talked trash to Sai and he beat me up. I fought him to annoy him not because I ever thought I could win. The only cure was to keep my mouth shut, and I was never good at that no matter my state of mind.

"Thanks," I replied with a deep respectful nod. "But…I'm gonna go ahead and pass on that."

I heard Zee chuckle. He would be placing bets on the fight that was to come. A separate part of my mind had registered both his entry and also that of my Nim but I hadn't paid it any mind. My eyes were on the master vampire before me.

"You still do not listen with your ears," He said.

I roll my eyes and pretended not to notice his muscles bunch in preparation to spring.

"And you still think you can pick on me,"

"Last chance," My brother said with an evil smile. "You are quick enough to run and hide behind your father before I can catch you."

I gave him a one fingered response. He growled low and dangerous. The menace behind it didn't bring fear as it might have mere days ago. I grinned, feeling a tingle in my gums and my teeth ached. I flashed fang.

No one intervened. They gave us the room and kept out of the way during the fray. Sai was stronger but I was smarter. He was better skilled but I was faster. The only tactic that would do any good against him was to strike and retreat. I made the first move and tackled Sai to the ground. I landed two good blows before he swung. His blows were of the freight train variety.

When he sparred with the others he held back power to accommodate their speed. With me he held nothing back. If he did, I would have beaten him in a fight years ago. The fight lasted about a full minute by the end of which I was face down with his knee in my back. One of his hands had my face pressed against the mat and the other pinned both my wrists behind my back.

"Jackass!" He spat.

"I've missed you too," I said with a soft laugh. It made me hurt from sternum to spine and every muscle in between.

He sucked his teeth, clearly not amused. He dug his knee deeper into my back and constricted the hold on my wrist. I went perfectly still. He was well on his way to putting his knee through my spine. Struggling was pointless. I sucked in a mouth full of air and measured my breaths. It hurt to breathe but I pushed past the pain.

"Ow…Christ! I need that to breathe." I meant to sound like I was pain but I saw the look on Zee's face and couldn't hold back a chuckle. He brought out the worst in me, plus aggravating Sai was genuinely amusing.

All the while, my big brother's hold got tighter. I found that my threshold for pain was magnified because the amount of force it took to do any real damage had risen. When the pain rose beyond what I could handle, I did the only thing I could do.

"Okay… alright! Forgive me, Sai." I begged. "I spoke out of turn."

I didn't have to mean it. I just had to say it. Not doing so would cost me more than I was willing to pay. Before he let me go, he slapped me upside my head. It didn't hurt but it wasn't pain free either. It was to remind me of my place. Then he pulled me to my feet. That was the life of the runt of any litter, except mine was a litter of vampires.

His eyes were still on me when Ollie jumped him. If I saw him coming I knew that Sai did as well. I also knew what move he would use to deflect it; throw one sibling at the other. Sure enough, the instant Oliver perched on his back, Sai was flinging him at me. I gauged the surroundings. Both my other brothers were present and so was my father. Instead of kicking off the wall, I ran towards Nim. I kicked at him and he gave me the springboard I needed.

The arch of my feet met the 'X' of his thick forearms and he put his entire body into shoving me back. I curled my body, using the force of Nim's deflection like fuel, I knocked Sai back and Nim caught Ollie. We went at each for a while, using the same teams I had grown up with which was everyone against Sai.

My heart had been heavy but the more the rough play went on, the lighter I felt. This sequence was familiar and so were the people around me. I might have lived as the telepathic, yet helpless, wife of a vampire sheriff, but this was the real me. I was a vampire hybrid, a trained shield maiden of this Kingdom, a princess by blood, and a Queen in waiting.

There was no getting around the need to breathe. I would push my body faster but I didn't have the endurance. After ten minutes of roughhousing I had to slow down. I was on my back staring at the florescent lights. My heart wasn't thumping loudly as it would have been for any other human; it was a flutter of the tiniest wings.

The bright circle clouded with father's shadow as he extended one hand out to me and the other held a towel. I took both. I wiped myself down. My father inclined his head toward the exit. I followed knowing playtime was over. I showered and changed and he was waiting. I smiled at his brief frown at my appearance.

My father was old school. Girls wore skirts, dresses, and wore their hair long, be they princesses or peasants. A lifetime with him told me that despite his eight centuries of life, both living and undead, he was sexist and chauvinistic. In his defense it wasn't to the point of irrationality. He didn't like my jeans and t-shirt but he didn't argue.

He began speaking the instant the training room doors closed behind us. "There is a problem with Louisiana."

The words, _"Priority sheriff"_ flashed in mind. I knew the plan inside and out. It was one we'd spent years writing. The thing that threw careful calculated numbers out the window were individuals so odd that not even they knew what they would do. Eric fit that mold, especially when he wanted something badly enough. I wasn't being egotistical. There was no mistaking the way he looked at me. Even if I lived forever, I knew I would never find another male that made me burn the way his eyes did alone.

"There are several," He said. "The most pressing is Victor."

The relief was only short-lived until I realized why. We knew that 'renting' Victor out to help Peter instill order was risky. That vampire had a thirst for power and it may have been too tempting. We had counted on Eric being a big enough opposition but…

"Where is Eric?" I asked.

"His whereabouts are unknown. That is the main issue. He was wounded and is away healing."

It took everything I had to keep the pain from my face and voice. It killed a little part of me to gloss over it but I had to. I spoke as coolly as he expected me to.

"Peter was instructed that we still need him so his injuries couldn't be as severe as to warrant his absence from his Area and his child."

We were in his study now and he sat at the desk while I took the chair across from him. "It took reminding for Peter not to end him. The sheriff claimed six of his best that night but yes, you are correct. Instinct tells me that Eric is up to something. What are your guesses?"

"It is hard to say with him," I replied honestly. "He isn't licking his wounds or running but he is hiding. We are sure of that?"

Hell, I was sure of it. I had been searching with every satellite I could tap into. I had nothing. I was hoping my father had something by way of the vampire grapevine. Believe me, nobody gossiped like vampires.

My father nodded, "He hasn't even been in contact with his second, Pamela, at least not by phone."

That meant that if Eric was in contact, which I knew he was, he was using the Maker-Child bond. It was ambiguous. Words and thoughts couldn't be transcribed through it, it was done via emotions and suggestions. It would be enough for her while I was left wondering. I was jealous and hurt though I had absolutely zero right.

I'd spent countless hours like this with my dad. He valued my opinion, not just the way I was able to see ten steps ahead, but my lack of arrogance. I never said anything was a 100%. I planned so meticulously that it covered all my bases, which was why I was yet to be beaten. With this I had no idea. It was personal and I was torn. I wasn't trying to play both sides against the middle. I was trying to save my husband without hurting my father.

"He is biding his time waiting for something," I said. "Maybe even someone."

I felt like I was betraying Eric but my words were nothing my father wasn't already thinking. We knew going into this that Eric was an unknown, unknown. For all I knew he could be under my bed this very moment or he could be hundreds of miles away plotting something epic.

"We do not know what," The King said, confirming my thoughts. He was quiet for a few moments looking out into nothing, thinking. I didn't know what he would come up with and fear made me come up with something.

"You taught me that the enemy of my enemy is not always my friend," I began.

"No, he is not but he can still be useful."

"Yes. We have to devise something to smoke Eric out. Not just make him show his face but to make him stand tall in the open, appear threatening even."

My father looked up at me with a smile that was equal parts adoring, approving, and feral. "Yes. Eric showing his face will shake Victor. When Victor is unsure he is harmless, and Peter will be safe from him."

I nodded as pain rose. I stuffed it back. My father and I still controlled Victor and, as long as we did, he was nothing more than a mean pit bull on a short leash. More than to protect Eric, I wanted to protect the vampires of Area Five. Getting Victor away from that State was the best way.

"We should add another variable," my father said, running with the idea. "A buffer that would also confuse, humans."

"Yes. Saul too." I suggested after a beat.

Saul was what happened when a vampire tasted the rainbow. He was always dressed so brightly that I had no idea how his skin didn't burn. He specialized in merchandise. That vampire could find you anything from the first dimension to the tenth.

My father's arched brow displayed disagreement and disapproval, not at me, but at the idea. After a minute he acquiesced because he had nothing better.


	28. Chapter 28

**Sookie**

**Chapter 28**

**Maneuvers**

I knew it was futile to keep searching for Eric using the current means but what other options did I have? I garnered no result and dread began to gnarl at me. The only thing that could make this festering combination of emotion worse was that I was to blame, 100%.

I had drawn up these plans. I had created the flavored bloods that my father used to entice Peter to side with us. It had been my idea to offer him partial copyrights if he married Sophie-Anne before taking over her State. I had hand selected the Nevada vampires that would help Peter maintain control of Louisiana after the takeover. I had sent our third best, Victor Madden. I had sent Victor Madden to my husband.

Victor had been given authority to do anything but end priority vampires, at least not without permission. There was no doubt that he had ended a few other and little doubts that he had tortured many. I don't know why it hit me so hard then but it did. My physical reaction to having done such a thing was too much to handle.

My stomach heaved and I couldn't keep my dinner down. Then raw panic set in. I fell apart but my upbringing wouldn't let me cry, not even when I was in the worst pain of my life. I couldn't shed a single tear. I was already so laden with shame. I couldn't bare the amount of shame that crying in the open would cause.

I had to accept the reality. I'd been deluding my self since I've been home. I had been holding on to some hope without realizing it thinking I could find a way to have it all. With the glaring truths of my many crimes against the man I loved, I let it go. That hope had been crucial and when I quashed it, I was left with nothing.

I holed up in the lab in the weeks that followed. It wasn't like the home atmosphere was appealing. No one thought anything was wrong. It was norm for me when I was trying to complete some impossible thing or another. I was, indeed, trying to finish the Hemoglobin MDMA cocktail but mostly I was searching for a husband that I had mostly likely been a party to killing. The diamond ring that had once offered me strength, comfort, and love was now a heavy manacle that bound me to my treachery.

"Princess," Fin called. "Your father included you in his appointment with Lizella Chu."

"Liza-who?" I asked.

I looked around feeling as if someone who had been woken from a dream. I knew enough to know that it wasn't. I'd just been a stupor of grief and regret. I'd barely asked the question and Fin had uploaded her full dossier on my screen. She was a fashion designer, one of the biggest at the moment. She was forty-five years old. There was a good chance that she was responsible for the Pepto-Bismol dress from my party in the Hamptons years ago. That alone was reason to avoid her. I knew that I couldn't. My father was going to be there.

I was prim, proper, and presentable as I sat in the den waiting for the woman in question. I knew I would hate every minute of this. To start with she was one of those people that traveled with an entourage. I heard all five of her people as they navigated through the service entrance of the house and presented the rows of attire.

"Ms. Stackhouse!" I turned toward the front door and saw a woman that had to be the most colorful and petite thing I'd ever seen. Had I not already seen her picture I might have been taken aback by her caramel skin and deep Asian features.

"So great to finally to meet you," She gushed. "Oh! It is so strange. I feel like I already know you."

Yes, you have been torturing me my whole life with your insidious sense of fashion, I thought snidely. She clasped her hands in front of her and bounced in place. I knew it was to keep from touching me. I could dip into her mind and influence her will but I didn't. There were just some things you couldn't escape. If there was a hell, well I was in it; if there was a heaven, then the skies would fall to spare me.

My father entered the room and glided down beside me. He didn't say a thing as the designer and her people set up. I felt him knocking at my mind and I let him in.

_'__You have been busy.' _

_'__Night Light blood and XFM do not share the same binding principles.'_

That was a half truth. I was working on a new brand of blood; I was also searching the world for my husband.

He gave me the mental equivalent of an understanding nod. "_I have found a way to do as we discussed. I have arranged a naming ceremony for you. It will double as your birthday party. Your guests range from the powerful monarchs in the New world to even a few from the Old. There will be influential humans as well as Saul. I also believe this may draw the faery who cursed you." _

Nothing my father said or didn't say was accidental, even his sentence structure had meaning. I knew that he was trying to play at my curiosity over the identity of the faery to hide something else. There was something else.

_'__And?'_ I prompted.

_'__I will be accepting suitors for your hand in marriage.'_

I wanted to flash fang and snarl more viciously than I ever have before. I wanted to cry. I wanted to scream at him, to remind him that I was already married, and to profess I loved my husband. I didn't do any of that. I couldn't. It would do nothing but make this worse. I knew my father. I knew what he was going to say even before he said it. There were only a few things he would give when it came to me. It was a short list, me.

_'__Once Eric is found your divorce can be underway. Peter insists that he should have your hand in marriage. I see his logic. He risked the most on nothing but my word. It also appears that his emotions are genuine. That would serve you but he is weak.'_

His mental note told me that he regretted that fact. Peter had proven that we could trust him. This had all began when I was fifteen. All the plotting and the planning, at that time Peter was just stabilizing his reign. That made him a perfect candidate for our end goal. Inwardly I had to admit that he had risked and lost more. He had done it with no guarantee of a payoff. He had kept my secret even when exposing me would have offered immediate gratification, not to mention wounding my father. He hadn't.

_'__He did as promised and more. Nim failed to return you to me in Dallas even with the Bill's help. He tried again in Mississippi and again he failed. Peter offered to move up his timetable for the takeover which explains his losses. He did so with minimal casualties to the current Louisiana regime.' _

I saw then the same equation my father had faced. What was he willing to subtract, to lose, to get me back? The answer was simple, nothing. I was the desired product. Add Peter. Use him as a variable to subtract Sophie-Anne. There was a good chance that Peter's takeover of Louisiana would have failed and he would have fallen. In that case, my father would be right back where he had begun. I would be safe and Sophie-Anne would have been made weaker after fending off the takeover and he might have come after me using full force.

I turned to my father and saw my inflectionless reflection in his hazel eyes. I spoke out loud, low enough just for his ears alone.

"If you made any promises of marriage without my consent, I will honor it, but you have to know the outcome."

I was going to make myself a widow before the ink dried. My father smiled and took my hand in his, but said nothing further. We turned our attention to Lizella as she presented one overdone, gauzy, obscenely expensive gown after another. It was just a guess as to what I assumed the options looked like. I wasn't paying attention.

I didn't dwell on marrying and killing whomever I was chosen to marry. The former bothered me a helluva lot more than the latter. I knew that said something about me I just didn't want to think too much on it. My mind was on Eric and the tangled, painful emotions I felt at the prospect of seeing him again. The plan was to draw him out into the open. I half-wanted it to fail but I knew it had to succeed for his sake.

"I like the purple, yellow, and the green dresses in that order," I heard my father say. "The silver and pink as a last resort but they will require modifications befitting of her."

"Yes, yes," The designer from hell said. "Absolutely, Mr. De Castro."

I looked as his choices were brought forth. Good God! Wasn't there a limit or a law on how much gauze a dress could have? Obviously, there wasn't. Don't get me wrong, they weren't ugly; it was the vastness of them. They were just shy of being full blown Cinderella ball gowns, bulky and heavy with the train, lace, and layers.

The vibration of my phone distracted me. Tapping the screen to life, I saw the message from Fin. My father arched a brow at me as I got to my feet.

I tapped at his mental shields and he let me in. _'I might have found what I need to finish the spiked bloods.'_ I told him.

He nodded his approval and smiled. _'We might be able to serve them at your party.'_

Nothing made my father happier than when perfect planning met opportunity. I kissed his cheek and headed out of the room. I was out of the room when I realized that I hadn't made a choice on the dress.

"I do not like any of them," I said, poking my head back in the room. "I'll have Zee's stylist find me something. Thank you, Ms. Chu."

I shouldn't care what I wore but I now wanted to control every aspect of my life that I could. I wasn't wearing any of those things.

I spent the rest of the night working on the Blood XFM now that I had finally figured out where I'd gone right the first time. Blood XFM was going to be like Night Light, just a million times better.

For starters, it was based on human blood that was synthesized with artificial fairy blood. The taste alone would make it a bigger hit than Night Light. I took it a step further. Because of its replicated Fae base, I could splice it with alcohol. Vampires could get drunk and high but the human had be loaded to the gills for the effect to transfer and they had no control over. With this, we got great taste and the amount of alcohol desired.

Hours later I pulled off my goggles and I was staring at the finished product.

"Fin," I called.

"Princess," He responded instantly. "It is well past your bed time,"

"I'm a vampire."

"One who has been awake for the last sixteen hours."

I rolled my eyes and stretched. I'd really thought configuring him with a personality had been such a great idea. I can't believe I'd ever been so young and stupid.

"Record formula, procedure, and results of current trial," I said.

"Command confirmed."

The thrill that usually shot through me when I'd done something evaded me. The one thing I wanted still eluded me. It didn't keep me from searching. I gave up on traffic cams and tapped into airport security footage. It was harder but I had to try. I began with the major airports and worked my way from there. One minute I was sifting through week old archives of airport security footage in Chicago. The next, Bam! There he was! I almost fell out of my seat in my rush to get a closer look. Eric…


	29. Chapter 29

Sookie

Target Acquired

Chapter 29

I couldn't breathe. It was all I could do to keep from letting everything I felt for him bring me to my knees. The image was only a day ago but he didn't look hurt. His steps are that of an Apex predator in his element. He moves with grace tinged with the arrogance I know he has in spades. My eyes drink him in and all too soon, he disappeared but not completely.

I was able to follow him because of all the cameras in the airport. I am depraved; I'm worse than a groupie and more dangerous to him than any stalker. I was his enemy but, God help me, I loved him so fucking much. The mere sight of seeing him walk with his normal prowess and arrogance lifts a weight that has slowly been crushing me to death since my memories returned.

Eric sat at the corner of a bar with his eyes on the tarmac. I wished I could see his face but I couldn't. It didn't matter after being starved for just a glimpse, seeing his back was more than enough. I got exactly two hours and twenty three minutes of watching him until his flight was called. He wasn't hard up for time, nor did he have to worry about the sun. He had arrived at the airport ten minutes after sunset.

It wasn't even yet midnight, so unless he was leaving the country he would be fine. He was traveling smart, avoiding Anubis, the preferred vampire airline. I would have given almost anything to know what he was thinking and feeling. I wanted to fix everything for him but his major problems had begun and ended with me. I sighed.

"Fin," I called. "Priority sheriff has been located; upload known data on current location."

He didn't need to confirm my command. I was looking at everything I would ever need to know about O'Hare Airport in Chicago. I already knew the date of his flight and I knew where it was headed, Jackson Mississippi. I tapped into the cameras there but he never entered Jackson Evers International Airport. My guess was that he took flight soon as the doors opened and the passengers only recalled a gust of wind as he departed.

I slumped back into my seat. He could be anywhere. There was absolutely no doubt in my mind that he had been up to something but, whatever it was, I was just seeing the tail end. Logic would dictate that his showing up on the map now was meant to deflect his true intentions. Whatever he had done, it had been far away from here.

I felt the brush of consciousness at my skull and I knew who was calling me. Had it been anyone else I might have ignored it but I would never ignore Nim. In the family he used my ability to push and receive thoughts the most. His mental signature was the most familiar but I could count on both hands how many times I'd heard his voice.

_"__Shy-shy," he called. _

_"__Hey Nim, wats up?" I greeted. _

Zee and I were closest, not only in age but in personality, but Nim was my favorite big brother. In my defense Zee shouldn't count as an older anything to me.

_"__Come see me,"_ He said. Curious as to what he wanted and eager to get away from my own thoughts I went right away.

Nim's room was simple. It was a suite as large as mine but in the east wing of the house. There was barely anything in it, just a mattress, a desk and chair. If not for the nicely painted walls it would look like a cell. It offended my father so much that in the near two decades that he'd owned this home; he had set foot in this room once.

_"__Father has found the fairy that cursed you," _He spoke mentally.

I saw the file on the desk and sat down to flip through it. It held a map with a little red circle. There were also photographs. The first was of a dark haired beauty whose name was Claudine. There was no last name but there were aliases a mile long. Her skin was pale as milk and almost translucent. She was gorgeous and stood at least six feet tall. Her dark green almond-shaped eyes were framed by long dark hair and her legs seemed to go on for days. In a word, she was breathtaking. The bitch, as if I needed more reason to hate her.

Behind her picture was that of my mother's family. I supposed they were my family by proxy but they were still foreign. There was a mother, a father and two children. I recognized Adele Stackhouse as the mother. I assumed the little girl was my mother but she wasn't. I read the back and sure enough the little girl was names Linda.

So my mother must have married the man in the picture. Adele had spoken of her but I hadn't cared to listen. I didn't know which one of them had been unfaithful to their husbands with a fairy. If it was Adele, then I got the fairy lineage from my father, if it was my mother then the fairy in the picture could confirm it.

A mother was something I didn't know I was missing until I was five. Genie had been pushing for me to go to school for years and he had finally succeeded. My first day at school was something I would never forget. It was a culture shock.

Until then, my playmates were a middle-aged neurologist, ancient vampires, or servants. The life I had was normal because I didn't have anything else to compare it to and it confused me emotionally. Biologically someone must have given birth to me so something must have happened to her. I had asked my father why I didn't have a mother that very night.

"You have her picture?" he had asked, carrying me to my room.

I did but that was all I had. It sat in a diamond-encrusted frame in my bedroom of the Verdi-Mogul house. I had five pairs of the same shoes and outfits for every house I used. That had been the only thing that wasn't replicated thorough out. Knowing my father, it was hard to say why. If I had to guess, I would say that he didn't want to call attention to the photo. It was there for me to take with me, inquire about, or ignore. I had ignored it.

"Did you get a divorce because of an affair?" I'd wondered.

It might have been with a whore or a mistress or both. I hadn't been sure. My abilities had always exceeded my comprehension by leaps and bounds. All I knew was that was a common reason for an absentee parent, at least that was what I had gathered from the children at school.

"No," and then he told me the truth as he thought I was able to understand at the time. "She worked for me. I did not know her well. She died. I took you home with me."

I smiled and kissed his nose. "I'm glad you did."

He smiled at me. "Me too."

Looking back, not just as an adult but as someone that was raised under him, I knew he had been careful with what he had told me. My father was manipulative. There was no ifs, ands, or buts about it. In his defense, he didn't lie to us. What we didn't ask about was our own problem. When I was sixteen, I asked Sai the same question. He had given me the full version.

"We bought her from Saul," My brother had told me.

If my father bought my mother from Saul then it meant she had been a whore, a willing and expensive one, but a whore all the same. My upbringing hadn't allowed me to look down at the trade or judge anyone whose motives I could justify.

"She was religious," My big brother continued. "Christian, I think." He had to stop and think about it as he wrapped my hands for our combat training session. "Yes. I think so. She went to church except on this Sunday death was there with her. She refused the advances of a man who then followed her home. He raped and strangled her."

I couldn't remember her face. I had been sad that someone had hurt the mother of a small child as she was on her way home from church no less. The fact that the child had been me hadn't made it any sadder. The fact that this woman had labored to bring me into this world hadn't made the pain any sharper. It didn't then and didn't now. No, now I was furious.

My mother had been in my father's employ at least a year before I was born, longer if one counted her refining time with Saul. Claudine or any of the other faeries would have had more than enough time to stake their claim on me. It was left to reason that they found a motive to interfere and I was going to make them regret it.

I took the photo of Claudine and the map that no doubt had her location. _"You have been bested by her previously."_ He wasn't trying to insult or demean. He thought he was stating a fact but he wasn't. He was wrong and so was my father. _"Father has already assigned big brother the task of hunting her." _

I left the file intact and left the room. My feet were pulling me back toward the lab but a different kind of obsession allowed me to fight it. I showered, ate, and forced myself to sleep. I needed to talk my dad and I couldn't do it looking bedraggled and fatigued. Late in the afternoon, I went to see my father. He was in his man room and not his day chamber. I entered it after bypassing the passcode of his door.

"Why did I not get the information on the faery?" I asked.

"Why does that trouble you?" He didn't stir from his sprawled sleep position but he was looking at me. I knew that he had done this on purpose; he wanted to test where my head was.

"Why should it not?" I countered. "I am a Princess by blood. No one." That last word is a growl that resounds so deeply in me that my gums tingle. "No one, should take by force that which I do not freely give."

He smiled at me and it was nothing warm. It made the scowl on my face appear benign. "Go with your brother and remind that vermin of your truth."

I nodded my head and turned to the door before he called me, "Mija."

I turned to face him. It was then that I realized that since coming here no one had called me by the name my mother had given me at birth. I was a Princess to Fin. To my father I was his baby in a variety of languages. Mainly I was addressed by the variations of the nickname my eldest brother had given me.

"Do not be late for your party," He told me.

I smiled and nodded, "Wouldn't dream of it."

Not only had my father given me permission to go, he gave me the lead. It meant that I called the shots and Sai had to follow. It took his normally cranky mood and soured it further. I was too intent on what was to come to even enjoy pissing him off. It was just one more thing to add for hating this Claudine bitch.

Sai and I left while the sun was still up, and we didn't have far to travel. During the two-hour drive my mind went to the one place my body never could, back to Eric. Sai shifting the car into park without warning scared the hell out of me. It also brought me back to task. We were where we needed to be. The house didn't look remarkable. It was just a ranch style house far off the highway. It was in the middle ground where Nevada, Arizona, and Los Angeles blurred into a thin line. It was the perfect place to hide from territorial creatures.

Already I could hear the minds. Of all the things to be doing they were having a pool party. I couldn't read them but I knew they were there. They wouldn't know I was there until I wanted to make my presence known. I didn't want to kill anyone. It wasn't a moral issue. It was a strategic angle.

"Give me a thirty second head start," I told my brother.

He nodded. Before I exited I knocked against his mind to make sure we were linked.

He answered, _"Your left hand is shit." _

His presence in my mind sounded impatient and harassed. It was so eerie how people's mental voice matched their physical. I licked the index finger of my left hand and stuck it in his ear. I was out of the car before his hand slapped the side of my now vacant seat.

_"__Says the slowest vampire ever,"_ I chortled, walking away.

I reached the door of the ranch style home and the vibrations coming from it was almost visible. The thing about supernatural creatures was that you couldn't indefinitely account for their abilities. Either it could zap me into forgetting where I was or it could kill me. There were a few other scenarios but binding spells were meant to keep people away, not kill them. It wasn't that they respected human life more than vampires but they had a harder time of cleaning up. It forced them to kill less.

I glided along as if I belonged while I searched for Claudine. Faeries were like catnip to vampires. It was another reason why they avoided us. I was too human to have that effect on my family. I'd never come across faeries before to know how they would affect me. It made me thirsty. Their collective flavor was smooth like warm chocolate and caramel.

I ignored it and continued to scan the crowd. I saw her except there was two of her. No, it wasn't an illusion. She was a twin. The differences were slight but I noted them. Claudine's smile was awe-inspiring. Too bad I was going to wipe it off her face. I walked right up to her and sat across from her and the twin.

The twin kept talking animatedly and I don't think she even noticed me. Claudine did and she looked worried. It told me she was smart. She should be very worried.

"Claudette," She said. "Go find your brother."

Claudette slowly rose to her feet.

"Sit," I ordered.

My voice was calm and laced with authority. I nodded my head in a very politely. I was raised to believe that there was no excuse for poor manners. Be that as it may, I was lurking on the fringes of her mind ready to flood it with more pain than she had ever known.

"Please sit down."

There was a moment of hesitation but finally she complied. All the while my eyes never left Claudine.

"You took my memories, my abilities, and my mind, everything that made me who I am," I began. "I want to know why."

"I gave you a chance," She said. By the sound of her voice you would think I was the guilty one.

I raised my brow but, other than that, I kept my anger contained. "A chance at what?" I asked calmly.

"Life," She said.

Enraged was what I felt. From where I was standing, she had ruined my life. I had been a blank slate and thrust into a State that wasn't stable. I hadn't known my own father. I had done things that could have hurt him. I had worked against him. Worst of all I had fallen in love. The love for that man haunted me still. Nope, I don't care what she thought she had been doing. She had fucked me, royally.

I don't think she knew how fast I could move. Maybe she didn't think I would attack her but her eyes were wide with shock right before I butted my head into her pretty face. Simultaneously, I stabbed her sister through the hand. Her scream was piercing as the iron blade ran through tendon and bone leaving her nailed to the table.

I felt hands on me but I seeped into their minds bringing them more pain than they had ever known. I rolled over the table and landed on Claudine's back. There was shouting, the popping noise of fairies fleeing, and chairs falling. It wasn't a result of me ruffling and temporarily unhinging the minds of the fairies around me. That was my big brother. He was too old to be completely rendered useless by the scent of Fae but it didn't keep them from outright panic. He looked like the big bad wolf ripping down brick houses.

"The scary thing?" I hissed. "He's the one of us who isn't pissed off." I buried my knee deeper into her back.

"The truth! Why did you curse me?"

Her only response was a scream that was equal parts rage and pain. There was nothing she could do but watch the carnage. Some got away unscathed but others weren't as fortunate. Sai's fangs ferociously ripped into the neck of one Fae after another. He didn't gorge himself. He didn't give into thirst or instinct. He had more control than that. He got a mouthful and moved on the other threat.

"You realize that the longer he goes at it, the more likely he is to kill someone," I advised.

She let out a strangled cry.

"Make him stop!" She begged. "Please!"

"No. Tell me what I need to know."

"Your mother," She gasped. "Entered a bargain with my uncle in exchange for making her irresistible she would give him a child. She reneged and buried herself deeper under the dead. He could not touch her…"

Even though she answered a question I had, I dug my knee deeper into her back. "Why should I believe you?!"

"It is the truth," She sobbed. "By the time he found her, she was dead and you were so deep under their thrall. It wasn't until you returned to the home of your mother's ancestors could he act. It is all I know. I was supposed to give you a chance at a new life, a different life. Make him stop! I have told you everything!"

"No, you haven't."

"I told you all I can!"

Now that I believed, but it still wasn't going to be enough. "Pity," I drawled, sounding bored. "Sai, kill that one."

Sai and I had been mentally linked since I got out of the car. He knew that if I was speaking out loud then I meant the opposite of what I said. The faery he had in his arms was female and she was young and weak. Faeries valued females. I knew it wouldn't take Claudine long to break.

"I can give you something of much greater value," The faery under me shouted. "It will grant any wish you desire."

I pretended to think about it all the while Sai drank. "Give it," I said but I didn't call Sai off.

"Around my neck."

Seeing that faeries couldn't tell direct lies I was inclined to believe her. Sure enough there was a chain around her neck. The pendant was a pebbled sized stone. It gave off a pulse as if alive when I held it in my hands. It was magical alright.

"I wish I could say you didn't deserve this," I hissed. "But that would be a lie."

I used the hold I had on her and tossed her up to my brother. He caught her midair before she could regain enough balance to disappear. He sank his fangs in her neck and when two faeries came to her aid, I fought them. I could just enter their minds and stop them but I wanted a bloody, bare knuckled fight. They weren't up to it. I had them both broken before I got any relief.

"Sai," I called. "Let's go."

He still hand his fangs in the neck of Claudine. She wasn't struggling. It would do no good but she had her eyes on me. The expression I saw there was hard to decipher. I didn't try. I knocked against my brothers' mind. He was out to lunch, literally. It left me able to enter without causing him pain.

_"__Let's go."_

It took effort but he tossed her away from him. She landed in heap on the ground, barely conscious.

"If you ever come near me or my family again, I will find you. When I do, I will feed you lemons before he cleaves the skin off you with a dull iron blade."

No one had died but the message had been delivered all the same; 'Don't fuck with us' I turned my back to the carnage my brother and I had left behind with the weight of her eyes on me.


	30. Chapter 30

Sookie

Defining Year

Chapter 30

The trip home was shorter. All the while the look Claudine had given me was in my mind. I couldn't shake her deep green eyes. I couldn't forget the way her face had contorted. I went home the winner; that was all that mattered. I was born and raised to win. I couldn't put a label on what I was feeling. It wasn't guilt. It wasn't regret. It was unsettling and no matter how hard I tried to push it away, it stayed with me.

I woke the next day and stared at the ceiling recalling my eightieth birthday but barely so. It was his presence that woke me. It wasn't quite dawn so I knew he had just come in from work. A lot of the things I have invented made things easier for him but he was old school. While he trusted me and marveled at the efficiency of Fin he liked to see things on his own.

"Hi Daddy," was what I meant to say but it was an undistinguished grumble.

He had done a great job in raising a Princess. I just didn't wear that hat unless absolutely necessary. The crack of dawn was definitely not one of those times. A yawn and stretch overtook me in the middle of the greeting. He rolled his eyes at me as I dropped unceremoniously into his arms. He laughed. It was a rare sound only a few people were lucky enough to hear. I snuggled into him and his fingers ran through my hair; always trying in vain to smooth my bed hair.

"I have a present for you," He said. "To be specific, it is a present from Lysander but my permission was required."

That was enough to get me to look up. He never let Zee plan anything. Curious as I was, I didn't feel like talking so I sent out a soft knock against his skull. He let me in. Even without looking I know he was trying to hide something.

_"__You never let Zee plan anything but his own day to day stuff,"_ I said.

He nodded his head, "_Your brother reminded me that you are a woman now and that this is what women of this time do. Not allowing you the experience would be punitive, unjustly so. I will not wrong you that way." _

His response was succinct so I knew he had been preparing it for some time or Zee had force fed it to him repeatedly. Regardless of how much thought he had put into it, I could see the pucker on his face that only Zee could bring about. He might be going along but he didn't like it. I was worried about that but I couldn't contain my excitement. Anything involving Zee was a good time.

"I have a stipulation," He said, speaking out loud. "You will take Sai're with you."

I let out a long agonized groan. "Daddy, no please! I'm begging! Sai is…"

"He is your brother," He cut in.

His voice was firm. It wasn't quite an order but not really a request either. It meant I had some say and I was going to take it. I tried to dislodge myself from his embrace but he wouldn't let me go.

"You do not have to like him. You have to protect and love him. Part of that love means you should do your very best not to hurt him."

I shot him a confused look. Sure vampires might be the monster that hid under your bed but Sai was what many of the Supernatural world feared. In our family, he did the "Hurting". He had been the one to train us all in combat. Believe me when I tell you that a lack of experience was not an excuse in his classes. He didn't hit hard enough to cause damage. He didn't have to. Eating dirt four days out of the week had a way of teaching you how to block all the same. That was the person he was worried I would hurt. It was bullshit.

"I will tell you a secret, one that you are forbidden to repeat." He said, rubbing the furrow from my brow. I relaxed my frown because despite myself, I was curious.

I nodded. "I swear."

"I was drawn to you, all of you in one way or another. You are the baby and the only girl. You are also brightest and most gifted; my most prized possession."

That wasn't a secret. It never had been. He had raised me. I was the most like him. Zee sometimes made fun of me for the faces I made because they were so much like his.

"To me, Oliver represents an everlasting spring even in the deepest dark of night or the most bitter of cold."

That I didn't know and I guess it was something he might have wanted me to keep secret, not wanting to give Oliver a big head or anything. Suddenly endless questions about my brothers and their origins formed in my mind. What happened to their parents? Was it the same thing that happened to mine? I didn't know but I knew then wasn't the time to ask. My father had simply wanted to get that off his chest so I let him.

"Lysander is…"

I chuckled because he didn't seem to have the words. The growl I heard was synonymous with that sibling. It was froth with anger and frustration but there was something else underlying it. It kept the feral noise from turning into dangerous action. I didn't know what it was and looking at my father, I didn't think he knew either. It just was and he admitted as much.

"That boy irritated me from the moment I heard him speak. More spirit than sense, more bark than bite. Not a single day has passed where the thought of him doesn't make me smile. Zee is fresh ocean air, vital, clear, and pure. He hides nothing from anyone. Nim is silent, still, and powerful. He is a rock. Even if this world disintegrated to dust, I know that somehow he would endure. I look at Neiman and I see forever."

Sai was missing and I knew he was the part that would remain unspoken. Sai had been there with him from almost the beginning. They had built his Kingdom together. I thought his role in my father's life would be something spectacular and beyond phenomenal, one that I couldn't contend with.

I waited as long as I could for him to elaborate but in the end my curiosity won out.

"Sai," I asked. "What is he to you?"

"He was a mistake," He replied with no inflection. It told me all I needed to know. He was hiding an emotion. If I had to guess I would say it was regret or hurt. "Borne of my rage, pain, and overall inability to cope with life after death without a Maker."

That was one those moments when I wondered about his end goal. He wanted me to take Sai but that didn't mean his hurt was feigned. Maybe it was but it didn't matter. Anyone in my family knew I would never risk it. If it was a matter of their pain or my discomfort, they knew what I would choose. It was the same across the board; that was what made us a family instead of a nest of simple vampires. My mind was already made up. I sat up and wrapped my arms around him. He hugged me tightly, almost to the point of pain.

"It's okay, Daddy, you can keep your secrets," I told him. "You don't have to say. I'll go and he can come with. It's okay."

In that moment I would have agreed not to give Sai lip until I greeted the veil if it would have taken his pain away. That was why I had worked on the serum. It was why I did everything I'd done. In the beginning I had done things to make him like me. I wanted to make him happy. Then it grew outward into a fierce protectiveness.

I hated what I saw. It wasn't the norm and I had no idea what to do. He was my father but I wanted to take care of him too. To my surprise, he shook his head refusing the out I offered.

"He was my mistake, mine alone. I have accepted it and we have learned to live with it, the two of us. I don't hate him anymore and he has forgiven me. He understands that even if I wasn't blinded by rage, I would have chosen him still for his strength. When my other children shun him…it flays opens wounds I created and it leaves him bleeding all over again. That I cannot allow. You understand, baby, do you not?"

I nodded and wrapped my arms around him once more. Had my rear end replaced my head, I don't think I could have felt more like a jackass. Sai being close to my dad had always been the norm. I always thought it was because he was stronger.

People knew of Nim but Sai held the solid role of second in command, the battle axe, and the shield. I was the secret. I just assumed my eldest brother was the favorite and I was jealous at times. I would have never thought my father was keeping him close because the rest of us were isolating him. Not that he made it easy; Sai was 'grumpy' with all capital letters.

"I can do better," I whispered. "I will try harder, Daddy, if not for him then for you."

The next day, I got behind the wheel of my brand new Hennessey Venom GT, one of my early birthday presents, that could pass 250mph. Oliver had given it to me. It had been a running joke in the family since my sixth birthday when Zee bought me a custom made race car.

Sai was seated beside me. Oliver and Nim were in the Koenigsegg Agera R. There was no doubt that we were going to race to our rendezvous point where Zee was waiting with Amelia. Ollie's car was faster but I was smarter and had a better grasp on driving. Being able to fly meant he didn't get behind the wheel often.

"I will see you back here in a five days," My father said, closing my door. As he spoke he took one of the bobby pins from his hair and inserted it artfully in mine, securing that ever wayward strand of hair that he had been at war with my whole life.

"Your party will be grand."

If I thought he could have handled it I would have told him that a party was all the motivation I needed to run away from home. As it was, I didn't try to push my luck. He was a control freak. Promise or no, this hadn't been easy for him.

"I have that band you like. They will play at your party. People are falling over themselves to be there."

"Thank you, Daddy," I said seriously.

Finished with my hair, the back of his fingers caressed my check. I leaned into the touch. "You are most welcome, mija. Happy Birthday."

We all knew that while we were gone, he was going to go under. Without any of his children present, I supposed he would do what he did before we came about, whatever that was. At the end of those five days he would throw me a party as lavish as the all the others I had throughout my childhood.

The first night I figured out how to cope with Sai. Openly teasing him was one way though it as it turned out that got pretty dangerous rather quickly. The other was to act as crazy as I could without losing complete control. So with every incident from the reunion with Zee in LA to Mexico and every stop in between, that was exactly what I did. I acted like no Princess ever should. I didn't feel too bad; Zee, Amelia, Oliver were right there with me, acting irresponsibly.

I danced too close with men I didn't know and on bar tables a little closely with my best friend. I flirted with men whose names I would never remember, I gambled with Zee, and we picked fights with people that neither of us had the intention of ending.

Sai did it for us. He growled, swore a blue streak, and flashed fang at us anytime he had to intervene but it gave him something to do because for him, having fun was out of the question. I was WILD. For those few days I wasn't a genius with a staggering IQ, or a telepath, or a vampire hybrid princess, I was just a girl who was young, acting dumb, and having fun.

In more than one night club, we had spent more money than the average American family saw in five years. It had begun as a way to keep Sai busy but it had turned into a trip that I would never forget. It actually made the extravagant party my father planned at the end of more meaningful.

I fast forwarded to my last birthday and the differences were worlds apart.

I'd told Eric not to buy me anything and he didn't. He'd bought gifts for himself; a skimpy lace slip and a thong with a matching silk robe.

"I bought them but they are too small for me," He said, holding them to his body. "I still would like to see what they look like on someone."

"Do you have anyone in mind?" I asked casually.

His only response was a smile that was arrogant, the same smile that had stolen my heart. I pretended to be unaffected as I began taking off my clothes. I watched his eyes heat and his body harden. I was spread out on the couch with my hands shamelessly roaming my body for his viewing pleasure.

"I guess I'll volunteer," I offered. He tossed the items over his shoulder and was on me before they fell.

"Not tonight," he growled, and then he kissed me.

That had been a year ago. My birthday arrived yet again but the last thing I felt like was a party. My calendar had been overridden with spa appointments. All the while I was haunted by Eric and the look on Claudine's face. My body was pampered. My feet were pedicured to perfection as were my hair and nails.

Around three that day I received my present from Lysander. He wasn't home. He was in New York and Oliver was him. Instead of four wheels of some ostentatious sports car, he gave me a motorcycle that was no less flashy. Ollie had transferred a large sum of money into my personal spending account. When I was a kid, Nim used to let me do something I wasn't supposed to as my gift. For this birthday he gave me his favorite dagger. At first sight, it sent shards of panic through me. When I didn't have my memory I'd seen the same dagger taking death blows at Pam in Mississippi. Sai did his best not to be a dick but that was as far as any gift he would give.

I heard the knock on my door an hour after dark and just knew it was my father there with his gift for my twenty-seventh birthday.

"You can go now…" I said to the woman who was doing my hair. I dipped into her mind to get her name. "Chrissy, thank you."

"Happy Birthday," She said with a shy smile.

Then she scurried away with a deep nod before I could reply. Even if I could have replied, what would I have said? She didn't know me. The only reason she had known this was the day it she was needed was because Grace had been drilling it into the staff for over a month.

She left and my father entered the room. He was dressed in an all-white tuxedo and black shoes polished so vigorously they practically reflected everything the light threw their way. I knew that Nim and Sai were dressed identically.

"Hi, Daddy," I greeted.

He smiled, "Hi Shy-shy."

It was odd that he didn't feel any less like a father to me yet this hadn't really felt like my home since I returned.

"You know, you look exactly the same to me as you did with the day I brought you home."

I rolled my eyes long and hard. He smiled. It wasn't forced or meant to delude or confuse. It was just an honest to God smile, one that only his children saw.

"That was how long ago?" I quipped.

"Twenty-five years, seven months and five weeks to day," He said.

I looked into his green eyes. In that moment I wanted to confess everything. I wanted to tell him how much I loved Eric. I wanted to tell him that I was hurting so badly that I barely slept or ate. I don't know what kept me from it but I just couldn't force the words through my lips. I just couldn't face it. To call myself the worst sort of coward wouldn't begin to cover it. Instead I walked into his embrace and hugged him tight. His scent, the native Spanish he used as he spoke, the firm gentle tone and even the way he held me was all a part of who I was. I was afraid to lose it, terrified really.

"You are the best father any child could hope for, and no Princess has been born to a better King," I told him.

He pulled away and presented me with his gift. It was no surprise, jewelry. It was exuberant, heavy, and expensive. I had no idea how he found it, but my private jewelry collection was the missing components of the French crown jewels. At this point, I felt as if I was depriving that nation of its' treasures. This year it was a ten ounce ruby, a sapphire, and a flawless canary yellow diamond chandelier necklace with earrings to match.

"Since I have not seen your choice of attire I assume this would complement just about anything."

I sat down as he fastened the necklace around my neck. I caught his hand and leaned my face into his open palm. "Thank you daddy," I say. "It's beautiful."

It was I knew it was even though I didn't truly see it. I just knew that he only ever provided me with the best. I kissed my head.

"Sai said you did not allow him to kill the faery." he says.

I shoot him an eye roll through the mirror. "It is not Sai's birthday." I said.

He chuckled softly. "What happened?"

I didn't like the subject but I knew I couldn't escape it. I told him everything Claudine had told me. It was news to him, at least the part about my mother's bargain with a faery, though I don't think he cared much.

"I wanted to kill her." I admitted. "And that was why I didn't, plus female faeries are valuable. I survived so I saw no reason to take life."

He nodded his approval and I knew I had passed other test that I didn't know I was taking. "I like it. The message was delivered with crystal clarity without major conflict."

I retrieved the little pebble from my jacket pocket and offered it to him. I explained its value. "Here."

"Another birthday present for you," He told me and closed my hand over it.

He kissed my head and both cheeks. "The car will arrive in less than twenty minutes," He said as he let go of me.


	31. Chapter 31

**Sookie**

**Chapter 31**

**Not That Easy**

Zee's stylist to sent me samples. He sent three dresses. I went with the black gown. It seemed to hold my dawning, my sexuality, and my unique beauty in every stitch.

It sported a nude sleeveless corset bodice. Artful marbled swirls of black lace covered my chest. The gown was floor length lace and had an obscure thigh high slit. I looked at my self in the mirror and, for the first time, I saw what attracted Eric. I was stunning.

The ride to the Elaria ballroom barely registered. Sai drove and Nim sat beside him. I was in the back with my father. The minute we drove past the private road that led to the house, I noticed the convoy of the King's guards. Since I had begun living at the house the only vampires allowed past that imaginary boundary had been my brothers. Two cars full of vampires led and two more brought up the rear.

It was at least an hour to the city and we spent it going over last minute preparations and security measures. Hopefully all the pieces in the game we had initiated would be on the board tonight. We had no plans on making any major moves. Tonight was just for observation and forcing people to show their hands so we could get things back on track.

The bright lights of the Strip guided us into the city. It wasn't like the Fourth of July. The Vegas Strip was lit as if it was high noon even in the dead of night. It was one of the few places I wasn't allowed to go. It wasn't because of the sin. It was my father's office for lack of a better word. I looked at it now in trepidation and hopelessness.

"After your grand entry and preliminaries, you can break from my side," My father was giving out final orders. "Amelia will most likely join you. I will assign Marco and Donald to trail you; they will be too far away to shadow but close enough to deter vampires but not humans."

I nodded. One of the most comfortable things about my Dad was that I often didn't have to wonder about his actions. If I reasoned it out, I could find the motivations and motives behind them. The proximity of the guards would give the impression that I was protected but so heavily guarded that people rarely questioned it. He didn't want anyone to see my title coming until it all but slapped them in the face.

"Nim," He continued. "Keep your mind locked on your sister."

Physically they would be at his side. The car slowed. Even without craning my neck up thirty floors at the MGM Grand, I'd known we'd arrived. The doors would open and I would have to play the part. That was when it came to me. The look Claudine had given me registered.

It was a mixture of confusion, pain, and shock. It was how you looked at monster that reared its ugly head from the most unsuspecting place. That was how the faery had looked. It was the same expression I'd worn at hearing Debbie Pelt proudly admit to poisoning Sam and her new husband. I had looked at her with the same horror and fear as she'd tried to kill me for no reason. The music cued and the doors opened. I had just enough time to take that realization and bury it deep.

No vampires other than my father and brothers had ever been invited to any party my father had thrown for me. At this particular event, there were more void minds than there were human or any other species for that matter. None of them mattered though as I did my best to try to show that they did. The reality was that I was searching for one face only and I didn't see it. I did see many others.

The first and most noticeable was Saul. He was dressed formally as his invitation must have specified but he stuck out like a missing thumb. He was in a tux but it was a bright, blazing shade of turquoise not known to man until now. Victor was here with his right hands, Corrina and Bruno. Peter was here with Jade Flower and Jennifer Cater. All three regents of California were in attendance. I made out at least ten other regents. Russell, Bart, and Freyda of Oklahoma to name just a few.

I had no idea how my father had gotten this many regents under one roof but he had, and their eyes were all on me. Their expressions weren't the openly appraising looks Sophie-Anne and, worse yet, André had given me. There was plenty of envy. Lust, there was a boat load of that, but it lacked the desperate and malicious air that surrounded the gaze of the former Queen of Louisiana.

It never failed to amaze me how well people lied to themselves. The humans who had been invited were carefully chosen. They were buffers. They were the kind of people that many other people would miss. They were rich, powerful, or famous. It kept all the vampires in line. If they tried anything and fighting broke out, the humans present weren't those who could be easily erased form existence.

The ridiculously tall birthday cake and sparklers were part of the preliminaries. I blew them out after a popular pop star sang me a happy birthday, and then I cut it. My heart wasn't anywhere near here or this farce. Eric wasn't here. The crushing disappointment and worry that he wouldn't show was weighing on me as I circled the room.

_'__OMFG!'_ Amelia cried in my head. _'Let's fucking go already!'_

Nim cringed from his place at my father's left elbow. _'Mimi, you're upsetting Nim.'_

_'__Sorry, Big Guy,'_ She said.

He didn't reply but we knew he heard. _'Seriously though,_ _this is sucks!_'

Her words made the plastered forced smile on my face genuine. _'They aren't old, they're ancient,'_ I corrected.

The only people who roped me into conversation were humans. I plastered a smile on my face and made the interactions as short as possible. The vampires were taking their offers and interests to my father or my presumed owner. There were a few exceptions. Peter was the main one. He knew what I was. Emma Lee Mason, Queen of California, Los Angeles was the other. She and my father had an understanding that was ages older than me.

The night was coming to an end when He walked through the doors as if he fucking owned the joint. I felt him enter the scene and he took my attention as only he could. My fears died. It was what I assumed surviving the end of the world would feel like. I had been terrified, unsure, hurt, and even grieving. Now everything I'd been craving was here before me. I was here facing it, facing him. Eric.

Eric was in a classic tuxedo but his hair was a halo of blonde that set him apart. The physical upheaval spiked to volumes untold. Then my heart and mind flat lined. My God, Eric was beautiful. He was the breathtaking, heart stopping, mind numbing kind of beautiful. His presence made me forget that I had a direct link to Nim. If he noticed my momentary flash of utter captivation he didn't show it.

Unable to help my self I moved closer. Eric was making a beeline for where my father was standing. I was scanning the area for any physical threat but I caught none. It was probably the only stroke of luck I'd had all day. Eric wasn't planning a physical assault. I let out a sigh of relief, which was the only thing I couldn't save him from. I was at my father's side again, at the far left end after Nim and three other Kings guards when Eric reached him.

My mind was whirling and churning with confusing thoughts, 'look at me', 'don't look at me', love me, hate me, don't touch me, and please don't ever let me go. My head was trying to force my training to take over but it was useless. I missed him too much. I loved him too deeply.

Eric wasn't paying me the least bit of attention. He was focused on my father. When he was close enough he bowed. It was a perfect blend of due respect and scorn.

"Your Majesty," Just hearing the sound of his voice by proxy make my knees weak.

I hated and loved the effect all at once.

My father nodded and waved for Eric to move on but he didn't go. Instead he unbuttoned his suit jacket slowly and retrieved a roll of paper from his breast pocket. He held it out toward the King.

"A piece of paper is all you have brought with you. It gives you the confidence to defy me in the heart of my territory," He paused and smiled coldly. "Some would call that heroic."

Foregoing all pretenses, Eric shrugged carelessly and stared him in the eye. I was afraid for him. There was an audience of vampires, most of who were under my Dad's control. Ending Eric might not be part of the plan but if he disrespected him, it would be and fast.

"I am known for many things, Your Majesty; I do not believe that is one of them."

"You also are not known for stupidity," My Dad concluded.

I knew it was curiosity that had him wave Sai forward. There was no expression on my brother's face but I knew that he was contemplating taking Eric's hand with it. He broke the seal. When he did all the vampires were hit with a waft of blood. I was one of the last people to place the scent. It belonged to the Pythoness. The Pythoness only handled monetary suits, property disputes, and other grey area matters. Vampires had laws were centered on blood and power. Matters of Kingdoms and property often worked themselves out. It had been a long shot but it had paid off. It was bad for all involved but I couldn't help but admire it.

We hadn't even thought of her involvement. The odds of her hearing anything on this matter were like less than .3 percent. We weren't wrong. We were never wrong. It was Eric. He was Eric; he was a big unknown, unknown. He was _The _Wildcard, no matter what deck he was placed in. You couldn't account for all the variables he would bring to any given scenario.

Sai read the decree and then passed it on to my father. After a brief second he looked toward Eric but his eyes gave nothing away.

Subconsciously I shifted forward. Amelia clasped her hand around my wrist. At the same time Marco and Donald shifted forward to close ranks in front of us. I was faster even in the dress and four inch heels. I spun my body before they fully blocked my path. In my haste to break free of Amelia so I could protect Eric if need be, I used too much force.

I tugged my arm. It really was just a flex of muscle. It tugged her forward and sent her tumbling into me. Of all the places and times, I began to choose now in a tense vampire standoff to fall. I shoved Amelia toward my guards and they caught her. It didn't give me time to do much for me.

I braced for an impact but I never had a chance to hit the floor. Strong arms wrapped around my waist, my head was against a broad chest, and I breathed in a familiar scent. I was frozen, lying there in his arms with eyes wide and my body tingling. It was as if nothing had changed as I stared into his baby blues. Then he smiled at me as if I was the only girl in the world, as if we weren't in a crowded ball room.

I might not want to. If given a choice, I wasn't sure I would have had the courage to choose him but it didn't matter. I was fallen, lost, gone, and there was no coming back, no amount of time or distance would be enough.

"Hello, wife of mine," He greeted. "I see I still have you falling head over heels."

I had my mouth open to say something but nothing came out. He traced the outline of my lips with his thumb. In a distant part of my mind I knew I should move. I should at least try not to enjoy it so much but I couldn't. Eric touching me had become the most natural thing in the world, no matter my state of mind.

He righted me and the whole damn room was watching as the scene unfolded. "Escort the Sheriff into my conference room upstairs," my father said.

Then the audience or, no, nine of the Nevada vampires broke rank to form a semi-circle behind Eric and me. There was no doubt they would use force. I had no idea what the piece of parchment could have said. We were in the lobby. Eric's hand was still in mine but I couldn't afford to look at him. He was in the heart of enemy territory and getting him out of here alive was my only priority.

I thought for sure there would be trouble as we all crammed into the same elevator but there wasn't. Eric was a pillar beside me. The doors opened to the floor my father used as his offices. I was faced with three female vampires in purple robes. They were the scribes of the Pythoness which was no surprise; I just had no idea of what their role was. They had no place in vampire shit, at least not at this level.

It was then that Eric made his move. He flittered behind them so quickly that I was barely able to follow the movement. When the vampires of my father's State followed, they were presented with a roll of parchment. This one had no seal but it was written in the blood of the Pythoness. It had an almost comical effect on the approaching gang. They froze, some with hands on their weapons, others had their fangs halfway out.

"Who holds rank?" the doe-eyed scribe asked.

No one stepped forward. They didn't have to. The elevator opened and I was faced with my father and Victor Madden. Bringing Victor Madden was an obvious gesture. Having him stare Eric in the face would put him in his place. I didn't understand Peter's presence. If I had to guess I would say my Dad was showing him a courtesy he didn't deserve, seeing he was hot for me and everything. Ugh.

"I do," My father replied. She offered him the rolled parchment. He waved Victor forward.

"It is a citation of unlawful process against both the Kings of Arkansas, his sister State of Louisiana, and The King of Nevada," Eric explained before Victor read it. His tone somehow rubbed silver into the fact that Victor wanted to be King but wasn't.

"Peter is my King and he has my fealty."

I wanted to snort. Could he be any more sarcastic? "However, he poached and traded my wife illegally."

"You gave her up as a condition of your surrender to save your people," Victor cut in.

"Then like a coward, you hid." Peter inserted.

Eric wasn't ruffled by either accusation. We all knew the truth. "This injunction fully reinstates my rights as her husband pending a hearing at month's end."

"…until such a time, the claimant and his property are under the protection of the High Court." My father read aloud.

_'__Daddy?' _I called, knocking rather loudly against his skull. _'What are we going to do?'_

With all my heart I wanted his to be the answer for which I didn't know I was searching. It was and it wasn't. Eric had made himself the enemy of the three powerful vampires in front of us, one of whom was my father. The other was his King and the second was his enforcer. I wanted him to keep Eric from making this worse.

I wanted him to give me the green light for us to end Victor and Peter. It was years ahead of schedule but I was willing sit on the throne tonight if it meant saving Eric.

_'__There is nothing that can be done at the moment, mija,' H_e told me. _'The sheriff has proven that he cannot be salvaged. He needs to be subtracted from the equation. It has to be after we find a variable that can balance out his absence. I will let you know course is he threatens you, dispose of him.'_

Translation; we had to find a vampire that could help Peter control Louisiana and frighten Victor at the same time and I would be the one to do the deed. I didn't know what would happen but I knew I would never. I would die first.

I walked away with Eric at my side and the robed scribes bringing up the rear. Eric wrapped both his arms around me and took off into the night the instant the doors opened. The order of protection from the Pythoness was only good if he remained with them. My guess was that Eric had something else up his sleeve.

It was as if he didn't trust that we had indeed gotten away, he needed to get further away. Before I made the decision, my arms and legs were wrapping around him and my head was buried in the crook of his neck.

It was like coming home. I clung to him because I couldn't fly but more so because this was familiar. No matter how badly I wanted to fight it I couldn't. My mind was willing and I had the mental fortitude but it was useless because while the rest of me was divided, I only had this one body and it belonged to him.

The wind stopped whipping around me. I heard a door open and close. I felt the warmth and scent of being inside. I perceived all of that without moving. It was then that I realized Eric had been tense. He hadn't been sure what would happen when he had presented that document. After all, it was only a piece of paper. It could have ended in blood. He had played it calm and cool as only he could.

We couldn't have traveled very far. The only thing I was sure of was that we were out of Nevada. He just held me close and pulled in deep breaths with his face in my hair. His body relaxed with every breath until he sagged against the wall with me still in his arms. Eric tried to pull my face to his but I refused to look up, and he let me be. I felt his face fold into a smile and he kissed my head.

"I can wait to see your face again."

I bit the inside of my cheek until I tasted blood and my fangs tingled in search of more. It helped me further chase away the girl he knew, the one he had married, the one who had loved him more than life itself. This one couldn't.

"You have to take me back," I said, looking up at him.

He chuckled. I wanted to be insulted because since I was three, no one had laughed at that tone when it was laden with the full weight of my authority. He did.

"This isn't a joke," I said blandly. "You need to take me back now."

He sighed indulgently though his smile was still present, "Humoring you for no good reason, why?"

There was no time to get into it even if I could. I needed him to see who I was, not who he wanted me to be. I curled my lips back and showed him proof of what I was.

* * *

**A/N:** **That is it for now ladies and gents. I will see you next week and I think by June we will have this fic wrapped up in ten or so more chapters. **


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